Why did you eat my boots, Mr. Krabs?

SpongebobUnless you’ve been living on Mars, you’ve heard several short news items recently about a rash of Spongebob Squarepants inflatables being stolen from the roofs of Burger King restaurants across the United States.

I don’t think the Spongebobs are being stolen. They’re escaping, and they’re up to something. What’s your theory?

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Show 26 Comments


  1. Why did I read that title as “Why did you eat my boobs, Mr. Krabs?”


    Oh, gee, I wonder…

    And about that Poodle Fitness video … that’s just … phucked up phunny. What else can I say but “Every night, Josephine!”



  2. Esther

    They’re all migrating West. It’s mating season, y’know?:wang:

  3. TinaMarie

    They’re plotting with Dick Cheney to overthrow the U.S. government. Dick likes anyone who is that happy (check those eyes!) when their face is essentially at crotch level. Hmmmmm…:wang:….:kiss:….mmmmmm.
    Happy thoughts for Dick.

  4. My guess, is that they will be showing up on top of VW buses in the parking lots at Grateful Dead concerts.

  5. 1. I don’t understand what is the big hype about Squarepants. Someone please explain it to me.
    2. In the poodle fitness video, what are those growth on the woman’s limps?

  6. ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    There is a perfectly logical explanation for the disappearing “Spongebobs”.

    1/ When it rains the “Spongebobs” become saturated with water.

    NOTE:Consequently this increases them in size making the “Spongebobs” less stable and also heavier.

    2/ Structural pressures working upon the roof of Burger King combined with high winds cause the “Spongebobs” to lean and subsequently fall off, onto the sidewalk below.

    3/ Whilst on the sidewalk they begin to dehydrate and shrink in size, allowing them to become lodged in the soles of the shoes of unwary passers by.


    Or people might possibly be stealing them, but that’s highly improbable.


  7. Why did I read that title as “Why did you eat my boobs, Mr. Krabs?”

    Ah, so I’m not alone in misreading the title that way!

  8. Dood! that is so awesomely BOW-GUS! We rolled some fatties and we smoked them, right? so we go to the burger king ’cause, like we got the munchies? So like Wesley’s horkin’ down his fries like he’s totally – but totally whacked out of his brain and I go, “Dood! slow down!” But he ditn’t listen to me at all? So all of a sudden, he’s like, makin’ really wild hand movements pointing to himself? and he looks just like a fish, I swear! So I go, “Dood! whacha doin? yer gonna get us kicked out!” but he like, just keeps doin’ it, and gettin all red like in the face and all? So I go, “Dood! I am so going to knock you on your ass!” and he just spazzes out like, completely? So I go, “Dood, if you don’t stop I’m leavin without you!” And right then these two homos walk by, and one says to the other, “oh look dearie, the poor boy is choking” So the one homo drops his pants while the fag is like licking at his butt!” Wesley sits up like somebody shoved a broomstick up his glory hole, right? and he coughs out this huge semi- digested, almost eaten french fry the size of my dick, man I kid you not. And so Doctor Fagueau says to the other while they mince away, “Well, chalk one more up to the Hind Lick Maneuver!”

  9. mikeB

    Rust is beginning to scare me. :wtf:

  10. It was merely a not-so-clever framework for the Hind-Lick Maneuver joke. Apologies to those of you who are homo sapien. Or maybe not. Your mileage may vary. Always wear a condom. The “Doctor Fagueau” reference originates with my elder brother Mark “I am not an animal” Rust (currently teaching at Sheridan), used with permission. All comments ©2004 by the insects inhabiting my brain.

  11. ReV.JeLLyBaBy


    You do know drugs are BAD, right?


  12. Lace Valentine

    What’s my theory?

    UFO experts are formalizing the details, but I think it’s safe to conclude the aliens have moved on from cow mutilations and hokey crop circles to something a little more contemporary.

    Mr. Squarepants is getting an anal probe even as we speak. 😳

  13. Ok, first of all, the BROWN BARREL is too strong, so don’t drop it alone. Forget about the SMILEY FACES, they’re a rip-off: just ink and paper. As for the herbal stuff, the “cogollos” just don’t cut it: not enough THC to even give you cravings for tobacco.

    Drugs? Just say NO! —as in, NO, I won’t pass de dutchie on de lef’ han’ side. I’m bogartin’ this rocket.

    Well, now that I have gotten the attention of the younger people in the audience, here’s all I have to say on this subject: If you want to grow up and be semi-literate like me, keep rollin’ doobs and flunk your exams. The World Needs More Drones!

  14. Oh! I forgot completely to offer my explanation as to why the SBSP’s are disappearing: through a secret deal between DICK CHENEY and his lap-dancing bureaucrat aide KINDASLEEZY RICE and the MCMANN & TATE Advertising Agency, these “promotional” items are in reality, STEALTH BALLOONS designed to hunt down AL-CRAPOLA operatives. Mostly working at night, the SBSP’s range the roads of America, making sure that BURGERS and FRIES are kept out of the hands of those pesky extremists.

  15. Esther

    Keep sniffing that bug spray, rust, I like it.:twisted:

  16. verago

    They’re regrouping, gathering forces. Some day SOON they will unleash their full wrath upon all of mankind…
    be afraid of the spongebobs…

  17. frisko

    Dahling, what did you have for brunch?


  18. Spud

    I think all the SpongeBobs are meeting at Rust’s place.

    From there they will plan their insidious plot to overthrow the Royal Oak.

    viv la revolucion!

  19. Spud, m’boy, they’re not meeting at my place: I have no ROOM! Besides, they would have to travel half-way around the planet just to get here, and by the time they could get their act together to enter the HELLMOUTH at Royal Oak there would be some other “funny” character pulling a disappearing act — maybe JIM CARREY! I can see it all now… giant UNCLE OLAF’s floating over TOYS’R’CASH getting people to swipe their charge cards on useless trinkets for children who lack lithium in their diet.

    By the way, here’s the weather report for Valparaíso and the 5th Region: Sunny and Warm with a few clouds, temperatures 23ºC, winds at 5kph onshore, overnight low 16ºC. Chance of precipitation: 0% (snowball’s chance in hell). Sun sets at 20:49 — ahhh the southern hemisphere.

  20. By the power of Neptune, this looks like a job for Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!

  21. Spud

    ah, I see it all so clearly now.

    Rust is a real wild child of the southern extremes.

    Weather report for the Great Southern Land –
    Sunny 28c

    Plus it’s Saturday! :mrgreen:

  22. fenix020387

    Actually, I heard people were shooting them.
    ya know…with guns

Comments are closed