Year: 2012
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The Hate Cake
My mother made me a Hate Cake today. I don’t know what I did to upset her so, but it must have been bad. This was the meanest Hate Cake I’d ever seen. And I’ve seen plenty in my time. In place of flour, she’d substituted plaster dust. The cake had three wicked layers—each more…
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DIY Hints You Should Probably Ignore
Need to liven up the office Xmas party? Photoshop your coworkers’ heads into pictures from questionable websites and you’ve got a slideshow everyone will be talking about! Use Strontium-90 to soothe a colicky baby. Old Ethernet cables make great leashes for the elderly! Use “Swiffer” sheets to quickly erase your sibling’s homework. Worried about what…
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Grammar: You’re doing it wrong
Really not sure what disturbs me more: The phrase, the lack of apostrophes or the letter spacing.
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What’s Your Deepest Fear?
Out with it. What’s your deepest, darkest fear? Turns out, I have quite a few. Here’s my top ten: Given a life sentence in a prison populated by mimes and clowns. Rosie O’Donnell runs for president in 2016. She takes Sarah Palin as VP in a surprise move. They call it the She Party, win…
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