So I became a father for the first time. At 49. I had pretty much given up the hope of having children, but then it happened. No, don’t congratulate me. It was easy. What wasn’t easy was sifting through the reams of advice you’re given from doctors, family, magazines, blogs, friends and complete strangers—yes the […]
How come when someone says, “I’ll be there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail,” it always takes about 45 minutes? Just how big is a lamb’s tail?
Oh man. I have been subjected to appalling grammar this week. I want to put these folks under citizens arrest … for the murder of the English language! People who say “360°” when they meant “180°,” as in “His attitude went 360°.” That doesn’t mean he changed his attitude. That means it’s right back where […]
The Good Wife’s Guide A weight scale The phone numbers of every stripper you’ve ever met A porcupine Instruction and Advice for the Young Bride Manual A mustard sandwich An extension cord, used A box of rust An ultimatum What gifts would you shy away from giving?
Comcast Tech Support, for having service interruptions all fucking week Lane drifters, Sunday or not Guys who change their clothes at Armani Exchange outside the dressing room Anyone who greets me with, “Hey, guy!” Anyone who greets me with, “Hey, boss!” Anyone who greets me with, “Hey, chief!” Anyone who greets me with, “Hey, captain!” […]