What I Learned About Computer Security From Movies
Computer security is a subject that, with the sole exception of Mr. Robot, has never been portrayed realistically on movies or television. You can simply type sudo: Give me the…
Lies clients (still) tell freelancers
The lies clients tell freelancers never change. I often wonder if there's a business class where the prof tells students which lies to use on us. When we go IPO,…
Garganornis: Even its name is evil
Just picture being a Cro Magnon. You’ve just gotten a nice cave in the ‘burbs for the fam. Worked hard on the garden damn, those 15 lb. Rafflesia flowers are…
I predict for 2020 through 2021
The Good News Kanye, in a surprise last-minute move, wins the Electoral College and becomes the next president. First Lady Kim enforces twerking as a fitness regime in elementary schools…
Dear Satan,
Seeing as how the world and its population have changed dramatically over the centuries, I have some suggestions for you on expanding Hell to accommodate some of Earth’s newer denizens.…
Every HGTV episode. Ever.
First time buyers, Jeremy and Meagan have been looking at stately mansions in California’s pricey Sonoma Wine Country. Their must-haves include an Olympic swimming pool, a 1/4 mile dog kennel…
Fantasy Movies that Should Have Been
50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey Harry Potter and the Dirty Chamberpot Percy Jackson: The Panty Thief Star Trek: The Next Penetration Hunger Games: Catching Herpes Hellboy: The Golden G-String…
What I Learned from Movies, XV: Cop-Out Answers
One thing I really hate? Unacceptable answers to cover a weak plot or to justify why a character can do a certain thing. The second and third Matrix movies are…
What I Learned from Movies XIV: Military Movies
Holding up a fist will instantly stop an entire army dead in their tracks. Any time bullets are shot at you in slow motion, you can avoid them (in slow…
Things I Learned from Movies: Vampires
They never check a vampire for ID Likewise, no one asks child vampire why they aren't in school The DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) never seems to notice that vampires…
Things I Learned from Movies, Part IV
At any harbor, there will be two or more speedboats with keys left in them Anyone who gets in a speedboat knows how to drive one expertly Same thing applies…
Things I Learned from Movies, Part III
Bullets from heroes kill with one shot and in less than a second. Bullets from criminals maim, but if they do kill, it takes longer. Virginity protects you from serial…
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