Garganornis: Even its name is evil
Just picture being a Cro Magnon. You’ve just gotten a nice cave in the ‘burbs for the fam. Worked hard on the garden damn, those 15 lb. Rafflesia flowers are looking fine. Then you hear it. Honking. Not the wimpy honk of a long-dead Velociraptor. Nope. There used to be a giant goose named Garganornis. […]
Seeing as how the world and its population have changed dramatically over the centuries, I have some suggestions for you on expanding Hell to accommodate some of Earth’s newer denizens. Please add new sections to Hell for the following: Cyber Squatters who hold onto URLs. Double Dippers at parties. People who park in handicapped spots […]
I predict for 2020 through 2021
The Good News Kanye, in a surprise last-minute move, wins the Electoral College and becomes the next president. First Lady Kim enforces twerking as a fitness regime in elementary schools to the dismay of parents. She admits this was a “marketing miss” and introduces the slogan, “Be Badass.” POTUSYe writes a new national anthem that […]
Every HGTV episode. Ever.
First time buyers, Jeremy and Meagan have been looking at stately mansions in California’s pricey Sonoma Wine Country. Their must-haves include an Olympic swimming pool, a 1/4 mile dog kennel run, and a finished basement they can play regulation ice hockey in.” “Meagan is a stay-at-home, Mommy blogger who sends lots of empowering messages to […]