I think my spirit animal was taken by the Humane Society and put up for adoption.
How come when someone says, "I'll be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail," it always takes about 45 minutes? Just how big is a lamb's tail?
When people say, "Oh, it's just for the time being," I freak out. We have Time Beings that demand offerings from us? When did this start? Next thing, you'll be…
Every morning, my fish stare at me, blankly. I always wonder if they are hungry or don't like what I'm wearing.