Call me Treebeard
FOUR YEAR OLD: "You know what would be so cool, Daddy?" ME: "What?" FOUR YEAR OLD: "If instead of a beard, you could grow a tree on your face." THREE YEAR OLD: "That would not be good." ME: "No?" THREE YEAR OLD: "It would be amazing."
People we can safely dislike #26
People who refuse to include punctuation in email or texts. The guy (it's always a guy) who passes you on the road and then promptly slows down. That lady who refuses to admit she misdialed you… again. Men who wear Crocs with business suits. Young men who think wearing a vest with a porkpie hat makes them jazz musicians. Older women who think wearing loud mumus with oversized glasses makes them artists. People who rasp, wheeze, and smell like a nicotine factory and claim they "quit ten years ago." The cheap bastard who drinks 3/4 of his expensive cocktail before…
Literary Critiques of App Update Messaging
COMPANY: Adobe UPDATE MESSAGE: Bug fixes REVIEW: Brevity, thy name is Adobe. Such an economy of words that even punctuation was deemed unnecessary. One thrills at the prospect of knowing with certainty that bugs will be fixed, lives will be spared, and hope restored to mankind. COMPANY: Mint UPDATE MESSAGE: Bug fixes. REVIEW: The glove has been dropped, Adobe. Mint has seen your message, called your bluff, and raised it one period. Will it be fisticuffs? Guns at dawn? Swords drawn? History alone will toast the winner. COMPANY: The New Yorker UPDATE MESSAGE: * bug fixes and performance improvement. REVIEW:…
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