Tarot of the Unexplained

Tarot of the Unexplained! The deck Fox Mulder would have used.

Available Everywhere August 5th Longtime readers will know that I had been working on a tarot deck and writing a book for the past two years, which is why I haven't been posting much anymore. The deck is not like other decks because, duh! It's from me. I based it off cryptids, ghosts, portals, paranormal phenomena, UFOs, ancient alien conspiracies, Forteana and more High Weirdness. No "Celtic Soul Journey of the Unicorn Cat Rider Faeries" tarot for me. This is the strangeness like you've come to expect from me since the late '90s when this site began. Well, the deck…
Chickens are metal

Chickens are metal

I just had a “Snap Meal” from Imperfect Foods. Prior to this “meal” I assumed that chickens were avian, organic lifeforms, descended from dinosaurs. I know better now. They are, in fact, one of the toxic heavy metal compounds along with lead, arsenic, beryllium, et al. Hiding them in orange grease does not disguise their metallurgic origins. Chickens are a metal.

Hither and Yon

Some more useless items that make the Web great. A tattoo needle deliver ink in ultra slow motion. Cat mode stopped in mid-activation Someone will pay dearly for this. 111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111.com I want to eat your nose, Amazon Dating. Better than it sounds.

Flotsam and Jetsam

McSweeney's has been on fire lately, and this gem is no exception. I REGRET TO ANNOUNCE THAT I WILL NOT BE CANCELING MY PLANS WITH YOU TONIGHT Some random flotsam and jetsam images that have been floating around my laptop. I had to see them, so now you do, too.

Random Effluvia, No. 328

1 First off is this gem my wife found. The 2023 Lost and Found Index. Some real gems in here. Among my favorites: A pin with Jesus holding slice of pizza 16 oz of fake blood A printer and remote-controlled vibrator Small camping stove and my funeral pamphlets 6 cheesecakes 2 fingernails A power of attorney document issued by Turkish consulate Definitely worth a skim… 2 These astonishing and slightly unsettling tattoos from Spanish artist, Adri Reigada (@adrireigada) Adri Reigada is a Barcelona tattoo professional now working in London. 3 The best prom invitation ever. Ever.

Close encounters of the work kind

A former coworker posted something today about the awkwardness of running into coworkers in public places. How, despite liking that person, you instantly lose the ability to form speech. It reminded me how even passing coworkers in the hallway at work can be awkward and soul-destroying. First Encounter: You smile, exchange pleasantries, and move on. Second Encounter: The briefest of eye contact, the “I’m busy, pal” dismissive smile and a simian grunt that resembles the word, “Hey.” Third Encounter: The upward head bob. No eye contact is made. The exchange is silent and understood. Fourth Encounter: You pretend to be…
A hacker wearing a hoodie in a dark room. He is working on a retro laptop.

What I Learned About Computer Security From Movies

Computer security is a subject that, with the sole exception of Mr. Robot, has never been portrayed realistically on movies or television. You can simply type sudo: Give me the answer now!. The password is always a personal item on the criminal mastermind's desk. If the password doesn't work, you can always yell the word, "Override!" at the PC and it will ignore all advanced computer security protocols. Hacking into government systems only takes 30 seconds. And once you’re in, you have to loudly announce, “I’m in!” to everyone in the room. Once in, someone from the other side is…
A Greek statue of a man facepalming from all the client lies he hears

Lies clients (still) tell freelancers

The lies clients tell freelancers never change. I often wonder if there's a business class where the prof tells students which lies to use on us. When we go IPO, your cut will be huge. You’ll be raking it in because you were there for us at the beginning.” “This is the kind of project that will make your career. You can write your own future after this.” “I need you to do me a solid on this one. I know it’s a nothing budget and the turnaround time is physically impossible, but this will lead to so many more…
Celebrating 25 years of clean humor and filthy comments

Celebrating 25 years of clean humor and filthy comments.

And as a special tribute, I decided to ask ChatGPT how I am described. This was the response: Davezilla is a humorous blogger who is known for his witty and often sarcastic commentary on various topics. He has a unique writing style that blends humor, satire, and pop culture references, and his blog is widely regarded as entertaining and engaging. Davezilla's writing is often described as witty, incisive, and insightful, and his humor appeals to a wide range of readers, including those who enjoy political satire, pop culture commentary, and social critique. Overall, Davezilla is known for his ability to…