Call me Treebeard

FOUR YEAR OLD: “You know what would be so cool, Daddy?”

ME: “What?”

FOUR YEAR OLD: “If instead of a beard, you could grow a tree on your face.”

THREE YEAR OLD: “That would not be good.”

ME: “No?”

THREE YEAR OLD: “It would be amazing.”

People we can safely dislike #26

  • People who refuse to include punctuation in email or texts.
  • The guy (it’s always a guy) who passes you on the road and then promptly slows down.
  • That lady who refuses to admit she misdialed you… again.
  • Men who wear Crocs with business suits.
  • Young men who think wearing a vest with a porkpie hat makes them jazz musicians.
  • Older women who think wearing loud mumus with oversized glasses makes them artists.
  • People who rasp, wheeze, and smell like a nicotine factory and claim they “quit ten years ago.”
  • The cheap bastard who drinks 3/4 of his expensive cocktail before returning it, claiming they made the wrong drink. Then re-orders the same thing.
  • Anyone with a straw hat.
  • The person in the picture and whatever she’s doing to that poor baby [PHOTO COURTESY: NoWayGirl.com]
  • Anyone who owns more than three parrots.