Every year since this site began in 1995, I have posted my resolutions. To date, I am still not King of the World, Master of Time, Space and Depravity, but…
Wake up writing someone else's blog Declare war on Iraq! Oh wait, never mind… Plaster the streets with incriminating photos involving your pet and a root vegetable Tattoo Bible verses…
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Longtime reader Dante's idea: Good thing, too. I start a story and each one of you continues it. Here's the catch: You can only add one word per comment. Got…
This year, give gifts that they'll never forget. Or forgive. A bucket of fresh, molten lava Their very own Manure Spreader A stack of stolen porn An Igia Hair Removal…
After finding the impossible present for Natalie today, I was quite proud and decided to celebrate at my luck by stopping at Tom's Oyster Bar for some chowdah and a…
"Restaurant Style" tortilla chips means, "Our retarded bagger sat on them, crushing each chip to an ant-sized bite." Four jalapenos are more than sufficient for one plate of nachos. Eleven…
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