2005 New Year’s Resolutions

31 December, 2004Posted inObservations27 Comments
I promise not to roll my cats in powdered cheese. I will not randomly dial extensions at work and tell coworkers they've been let go. I resolve not to post any pictures of myself in a thong. I promise not to mistake cat laxatives for toothpaste at my GF's house. I will not invite Shannen Doherty and Danny Bonaduce over for weekenders anymore. I resolve to cover your voles in glitter! I promise to finish building my Tiki palace (You think I'm kidding). I promise not to mistake Starr Jones for a passing Goodyear Blimp. I promise to visit at…

Caption Time #34

30 December, 2004Posted inCaption Time23 Comments
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Note to Self: No. 5,230

29 December, 2004Posted inObservations14 Comments
Do not let David mistake Phoebe’s cat laxative for toothpaste. Again. :roll:viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra sample what is better…

Things that sound dirty, but aren’t

28 December, 2004Posted inObservations13 Comments
Snowfall Edition After a conversation with my new coworker Jim, I was inspired to rerun an old post on the topic: I got over nine inches last night. Man, that white stuff is covering everything. I can barely see my own car! I love when it lands on my tongue. Go on. Lick that pole. I dare ya. I got so wet playing with it. Don't rub that in your sister's face! Dammit! You got it all over my new pants. It's even soaked through my shoes. This isn't the soft, fluffy kind. It's hard, wet and you can pack…

Note to Self: 5,116

27 December, 2004Posted inObservations8 Comments
Do not touch black sweater with running electric toothbrush. Again. :neutral:viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra sample what is better viagra…

Caption Time #33

26 December, 2004Posted inCaption Time12 Comments
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Note to Self: 5,110

24 December, 2004Posted inObservations8 Comments
Next time the weather forecasters predict 12" of snow overnight, consider shutting the car windows all the way. :neutral:viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves…

Best Christmas gift ever

23 December, 2004Posted inUncategorized18 Comments
My brother Patrick beat all previous gifts this year by presenting me with my own Zilla bling goblet. Oh Hells yes.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india…

Caption Time #32

22 December, 2004Posted inCaption Time29 Comments
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Anagram Interview: Paris Hilton

21 December, 2004Posted inObservations25 Comments
DISCLAIMER: Before you scratch your head or send me hate mail, please note that this is a fake interview. The answers were created by rearranging the letters in Paris Hilton [anagramming]. Davezilla: "First off, how do you start the week?"Paris Hilton: "I plan or shit." Davezilla: "Um, Paris? What are you doing under the table? Drop something?"Paris Hilton: "Lost hairpin." Davezilla: "I heard you once seduced Ralph Lauren."Paris Hilton: "I sit on Ralph." Davezilla: "Assume I know nothing about hair. What is your current hairstyle called?" Paris Hilton: "Rhino plaits." Davezilla: "Not that I'm interested, but what do you look…

This is how Dubya rolls, bitches…

20 December, 2004Posted inUncategorized19 Comments
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