Pope to star in upcoming Star Wars film

Jedi Pope
Despite news stories that he is in ill health and receiving last rites, Pope John Paul II is starring in several action films this summer, including Lucas’ newest effort as an ancient Jedi master. This summer, he is slated to appear in the next Harry Potter film, and finally, he will appear as The Thing in the upcoming Fantastic Four movie.

“The Pope isn’t sick. Far from it,” said Vatican insiders who described his manner as “spritely” and “looking rather buff”. John Paul, or “Killer P” as the Cardinals refer to him, is spending Spring Break in Cancun with some fly bitches where he is making a guest appearance in the next Girls Gone Wild video with rapper, Chingy.

Show 27 Comments


  1. Really? The Pope in Star Wars? COOL!

    Oh, wait. Is this an April Fool’s joke? You got me.

  2. Spud


    I’ve suspected for sometime that the Vatican was actually a Jedi training ground.


  3. Esther

    Wow, that’s a pretty full schedule Killer P has there! I guess that’s what happens when you have a Blackberry blessed w/holy water, and a good agent.

  4. JFLY

    May the force be with you Dave.

    And may Yoda be appointed the next pope…

  5. I hear you are the Father of all Bloggers! You really do have some great stuff here! keep up the good work! Poor Pope, I’ve seen him in so many cropshot jobs lately, he has received more press sick than he did healthy…well by the cropshot folks anyway! ๐Ÿ˜†

  6. Lace Valentine

    “Going to bless the new starship, Pope Vader is.”

    –Arch Bishop Yoda :mrgreen:

    “This ain’t no picnic fuzz ball! Flying through a meteor storm without my St. Christopher medal on!”

    –Han Solo :geek:

    “We eatsa fishies onsa fridays, Massah Pope.”

    –Jar Jar Binks :limp:

    “I say R2D2, the priest in the confessional tried to give me a lube job!”

    –C3PO ๐Ÿ™„

  7. Spud

    Anyone remember seeing a Pope that wasn’t bent over and extremely old??





  8. mikeB

    If I dies, I want to bid for the Popemobile on eBay.

  9. A letter to the MS WHEELCHAIR organizers:
    (see http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/04/01/ms.wheelchair.ap/index.html )

    What can I say? You people just shot yourselves in the foot and you haven’t a leg to stand on. Congratulations on your latest decision to strip the “Ms. Wheelchair” title because she could stand up.

    If you want to send your own personal message, here’s the address as published in the HTML source on the “contact” page: [email protected]

    Oh, and I almost forgot, GO POPE GO!

  10. I feel bad for the pope.:-?

    But I like to say Chingy. Like George Lopez’s TV daughter says it, Chin geeeey.:undies:

  11. bats

    Beware the sodomites, young Falwell. Fight them, you must.

  12. JFLY

    I wonder if you can perform an exorcism with a light sabre? ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

  13. TinaMarie

    Dude, no jokes on the dead or dying. It’s tactless. Besides, the Pope might be conversing face to face with the Big Guy right as we blog and you don’t want to piss off the Big Guy, now do you?

    P.S. Besides, if the Pope was going to play any part in a movie, should he be in “Yellow Submarine” or “Hard Day’s Night”, considering his name? And wouldn’t it be cool if the next Pope christened himself Pope George Ringo I?

  14. Kirk

    I’ve always loved the Pope’s hats! Especially the big pointy ones! Maybe that is why he’s in the movie business now…COSTUMES!!!!

    One other thing>>>>> Knowing the recent news regarding the Catholic church, one would think that the Pope would be in the Guys Gone Wild videos instead !

  15. wantwit

    i don’t get this “geek humour”. why is this funny?

  16. JFLY

    Spud – I’ve thought about it and I’m convinced the Pope is an animatron. I saw him decades ago in person and he’s exactly the same except for the new added “drool” effect…

  17. Is there anything you do get, wantwit? Besides on everyone’s nerves, I mean. ๐Ÿ™„

  18. JFLY

    Dave – Here’s to geek humor :java: Cheers!

  19. gee, dave, getting a little petty there for being such a “big-shot”. seriously, I don’t get it; why not try explaining it to me instead of getting all testy… i mean, for christ’s sake, it’s just the internet and you know i find your site amusing. have a skin graft or something.

  20. See there’s this guy named Pope John Paul II. He’s rather Catholic. He has a funny white hat and drools a lot รขโ‚ฌยฆ ๐Ÿ˜›

    Relax. I was just messing with ya. It was April Fools Day, you know.

  21. Amy

    Ok….NOT Funny. At all.

  22. Anonymous


  23. Forget John Paul II starring, Pope Benedict XVI
    has been in them ALL. Check out my url to see what I mean – HE IS PALPATINE!:evil:

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