Note to Self, No. 6,502

Find a way to change our appearance. This year, I was told no less than 19 times to “Have a safe 4th of July,” indicating that I somehow resemble the Latchkey, redneck children that seem to lose useful parts of their anatomy each July by securing coal mine explosives in their teeth or in the rectum of the neighbor’s dog while yelling, “Hey fellers! Lookit this!”


  1. zinta

    Famous last words of a redneck:
    “Hey look what I can do”

  2. Bjorn Freeh

    I don’t know Dave, considering the fireworks deaths in the area today, maybe that’s not such a bad thing for someone to say.

    BTW, tomorrow, have a safe 5th of July.

  3. redneckrmom

    Hey, be nice now. Not ALL rednecks are like that

  4. Spud

    Have a great 4th of July you Ahmericans, blow some shit up and stuff yourselves BBQ style!

    I miss Guy Fawkes night here, (they banned it about 20 years ago)

    Fireworks were da bomb…


  5. Over here in Spain they do love their pyrotechnics too. About once every two years there’s an accident at some backwater fireworks factory that obliterates about half a mountain. They’re all used in festivals such as Las Fallas in Valencia, a charming event that involves torching massive papier-mâché effigies and detonating a lot of hand held recreational explosives. The joke is when someone asks you how many times you’ve been to Las Fallas, you reply ‘Four times!’ and hold up three fingers.

  6. Chris S

    [Comment ID #194318 will be quoted here]

    I guess it IS kind of nice to say it. But yeah its as if leaving the “safe” out of there means you wish a disastrous 4th or something. The need to add extra words like “safe” to everything is kinda pointless. Well unless you are talking to someone you hate and otherwise you DO want them to have an unsafe day. 😈

    I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been told to “drive safe” even outside of a night out. OH! THANK GOODNESS you said that! I hadn’t even thought of it! I was going to slam a 6-pack, shoot some heroin, and see if I could make the trip home blindfolded while driving on the wrong side of the road in reverse with the doors open and not use my turn signals, while having unprotected sex with a prostitute! You saved my life! 😛

    Everyone have a SAFE every day you accident-prone explosive-loving bastards. I just saved all your lives. You’re welcome. 8)

  7. Buck

    No one ever tells a suicide bomber to be careful :dead:

  8. If you’re out on a boat for fireworks, (like at the Queen Mary), the ride home can be pretty scary with all the drunk boaters heading home at the same time.

    When folks leave our place after a night of fun, we always say “Drive fast & take lots of chances!” :wtf:

  9. demar

    No, No, No, Famous last words of a redneck is:

    “Hey Ya’ll, watch this!” :dead:

  10. Cindy

    Nooooo, the famous last words of a redneck are:

    Hey! Ya’ll hold my beer and watch this! 😛

  11. chainstay

    I like to give people confusing departure’s. The kind that makes them walk away and think, “What the hell did he mean by that?”
    “See ya later. Hope you don’t get hit by lightning.”

    “You have a good night; and make sure that your house doesn’t blow up.”

    “It was lovely seeing you again; you stay away from any crippling diseases. Stay in touch.”

  12. Well, the comments you received Dave were certainly in the spirit of the 4th of July and what it stands for.

    I’m mean, we all remember from our history lessons how George Washington told his troops to battle ‘safely’ against the British army to insure the independence of the new nation. He knew well how exited his little soldiers could with all the thrills and the noise of a full blown battle and how easy it is to forget that flintlocks can go off when you least expect and pinkies can get easily burned on hot musket barrels.

    ‘Go forth to Yorktown and fight with all your honor!’ he told them ‘But don’t come crying to me if you poke your eye out with that bayonet. Ooh, there’ll be tears before armistice, I just know there will.’

  13. Black

    Real last words of a redneck: Oh shit.

  14. Tater Salad

    💡 note to self # 6,503 💡
    Stop letting people hold beer wile saying yall watch this!!!! :wtf:
    Now if I can only remember what happened??
    How did I end up in I.C.U. ????

  15. Appearances can be decieving: People still believe I’m an innocent, civilized, proper lady…if they only knew what goes on in behind closed doors and/or dark alleys, outside the expected socialization with these so called “normal” people… 😈
    I don’t believe they could handle such reality…

  16. Bigwavdave

    [Comment ID #194387 will be quoted here]

    Ah…And which people would those be? Surely not any zilla regulars.
    :kiss: :kiss: :wang:

  17. sledge

    sorry I’m late but I blew my finger off Dubya

  18. Mikeme

    My neighborhood sounded like Iraq last night! ❓

  19. Mandy

    [Comment ID #194387 will be quoted here]

    i hear ya. i get that too, astryd.
    dave, just don’t blow up anything you or natalie will miss :wang:

  20. Now why can’t I get a good-looking nudist to jump on the trampoline? 😛 :wang:

  21. crash

    NUDIST TRAMPOLININg: so easy a cave man can do it! :wtf:

  22. Tater Salad

    cave man watching nudist on trampoline 🙄 :boob: :boob: 🙄 :boob: :boob: :wtf:

  23. spicydolphin

    no ya’ll forgot to add one thing to your famous last words of a redneck it goes like this hey bubba hold my beer……..

    ya’ll are great!!! i love to read your comments lifts my spirits!!

  24. [Comment ID #194390 will be quoted here]

    Hell no, I pride myself on not being one of those “normal” people…..”normel peepole scar’ mi”

    [Comment ID #194581 will be quoted here]

    We all know we’re great…..and if you stick around long enough, other things might get lifted…..and if you ever need anything lifted personally, there are a few here(maybe most) that would be more than happy to lend a hand or two….. 👿

    Famous last words of a smart redneck(I know a few and I am one): “Dat sher wasnt as good as taught it wood be, letsh try it agane.”……Smart Redneck = College Student that Flashes Greek Letters……
    “So what did you do for the forth, Hal?”
    “Well, me and some of my fraternity brothers caught some squirrels and shoved lit firecrackers up there asses. Teach them to nibble on our nuts.” :wtf:

    Sorry, they just all came to me at once……

  25. [Comment ID #194390 will be quoted here]

    Aw, c’mon…are any of ya’ll here normal?

  26. AnnieB

    [Comment ID #194823 will be quoted here]

    NOT normal and proud of it!

    Man, am I gonna get slammed for all my posts today! Bring it on!

    It’s more than a feeling. Have another one AnnieB. Thanks, I believe I will. I think Spud’s ready too!

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