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- The woman in the aisleway who prevents anyone from boarding the plane because she is busy art directing her luggage in the overhead compartment, rather than stuffing it in there and sitting down.
- The couple who ignore their screaming toddler for the duration of the flight.
- The wheezing sleeper I always get stuck next to.
- The flirty girl who wants to talk to me about Jesus.
- The mullet boy who asks me if I, “Got anyfing ta eat.”
- The attractive woman who sexily slips off her pumps to reveal feet that smell like gangrenous musk oxen.
- The “religious expert” who is certain I am actually Muslim.
- The frat boys sitting three rows apart who loudly recreate the dialogue of several Jim Carey movies to each other.
- The aging twit with the greasy comb-over who is convinced the flight attendant wants to have hot, monkey sex with him.
- Who’s getting to you this week?