More people we dislike #5: Music Video Directors

A special breed of artist, the music video director fancies himself one day a real film director. This of course, will never happen unless someone writes a movie about a ratty-looking guitarist breaking up with his supermodel girlfriend in the desert, while chicas in matching thongs choreograph the breakup in a New York City back alley.

We hate you, video directors, because you all use the same video effects, the same yawnful slow motion pans across teary-eyed waifs and men with 5:00 shadow.

No, we are neither enticed nor fooled by the tiny, red REC icon flashing on the video. We don’t feel like we’re the director when you do that. It’s trite and it’s tired. Run along.

We are similarly confused by your constant use of dancers. If the song is about the Chernobyl disaster, it really doesn’t need Latinas in hot-pants acting it out. If it’s about getting nasty, then by all means, add the tramps and remove their clothes.


  1. Spud

    I almost always think along these lines when veiwing (however briefly) those music videos, and I thought I hadn’t had an original idea, these guys/gals put me to shame.

    Oh the shame, the shame of it all…

    and as a side question…

    do the bunnies feel the skinning knife whilst in a trance?


  2. tinamarie

    There are a few video directors I like, i.e. Mark Romanek, Anton Cobijn, but they direct damn few videos, and I must admit that they have a very definative style. This means that watching too many of their videos leads to having deja-vu moments.

    What I’d like to know is what male-fantasy has gripped video directors that all musicians, no matter how ugly or foul, are surrounded by the most gorgeous women possible? I’ll cop to the fact that all musicians have groupies, but have you ever seen some of them? :puke: :puke: :puke: SKANK CIT Y! I dare the video directors to show it like it is and surround those guys with the real deal: real groupies–the fine ones and the skank shit. Then if the music sucks I can at least laugh at the video.

  3. Duker

    Nasty music videos with naked tramps?! :wtf:…who’d wanna watch that??!………Naked tramps…mmmmmaarrrrrrggghhhhh 😛

  4. Yup, music video directors are to film directors as burger flippers are to chefs. I’ve been told that they become music video directors because they don’t have the necessary depth of character nor the command of pathos to work in the advertising industry.

    However that girl who can put bunnies into a trance – now there’s someone who could have a brilliant future in the advertising industry.

  5. cbatdux

    Sorry. Don’t watch music videos. Don’t have cable. Don’t even have a TV. Frankly, I don’t have electricity or running water. I live in a simple shack in Montana, working on my manifesto. Sending you a package Dave.


  6. JFLY

    Putting bunnies in a trance, eh? So that’s Hugh Hefner’s secret!

  7. frisko5

    Sounds like a Budweiser Beer commercial to me.

    “Mr. Music Video Maker”

    I need coffee

  8. Anna

    I thinks them bunnies is dead!!

  9. Craig

    Trying to put you’re cat in a “trance”, not a good idea! :wtf:

  10. mikeb

    Can we put the video dancers into a trance? :thong: :wang:

  11. Lace Valentine

    Rob Zombie is a kick-ass director with his film, “Devil’s Rejects.” It is one of the most challenging films I’ve seen in a long time and it had a lot of dark humor. Zombie was a rock artist who went on to direct videos and then horror films, however, “Devil’s Rejects” isn’t typical horror fare. It really is an art film with existential questions.

  12. mitch smith

    I agree with the assessment of Rob Zombie’s ability as a director. He is the best. As for the rest, all pretenders and quacks.

  13. I agree that I’m sick of watching all the music videos full of half naked women when they have nothing to do with the song. That’s why I quite watching them.

    I wish I could put my cat into a trance like they can with the bunnies. It sure would be useful when it comes time to give him a bath. I usually come out of the situation with scratches covering each arm. 🙄

  14. oops!

    That was supposed to be quit not quite.

  15. Duker

    I agree with Nina and refuse to watch anymore music videos until the women are fully naked! :boob: :boob: :thong: OH YEAH!!!

    Site’s coming along nicely, Dave. Sorry about the Sebastion comment, I was bored and liable to lash out at anyone and there you were!!!

  16. JFLY

    I agree the videos all look the same, but why isn’t anyone complaining about the real issue: the lack of talent? It’s either rap music (which is an oxymoron), young blondes singing about things they haven’t even experienced in life because they are only kids themselves, or a bunch of guys screaming and thrashing around like Linda Blair in the Exorcist…where is the MUSIC? :dead:

  17. starheler

    well rob zombe is an exelent directer but hells rejets well win is wached it i was hopeing for something closer the hous of 1000 corpses. after the eneshel disapontment at the lake of gore it was a fabulas move my boyfrind and i enjoyed it so much that we bouth it. as for the music video crap being produced it is absoletly horible. they need to stay with what they know. nothing. 💡

  18. tenderflower

    spuds comment made me askeered to look at the link

  19. bring back Godley and Creme. Best videos ever.

  20. JFLY

    Suddenly I feel so old, Dave. Whatever happened to “Don Kirschner’s Rock Concert” and waiting all week to see a good rock band make a rare television appearance on “SNL”?

    I remember the birth of MTV and watching it for 12 straight hours without commercial interruptions or assanine game shows. They actually played videos…

    In all fairness, many bands don’t have a say-so in what goes into their videos (either because they never read the contract or because they don’t have any musical talent, let alone cinematic). Okay, that wasn’t fair..but at least it was honest!


  21. marcus

    I am so happy that I don’t have a TV. I only watch DVDs on my Computer. I really think that they judge the value of their video by the amout of tits and ass they show which might be necessary for teenage boys, but not for me. If I want that, I can get see the real thing here. Whatever happened to videos like “White Wedding”, “Hungry like a Wolf”, “Happy Family”, and “She Bop.” Gone are those days.

    AWW what a cute little bunny. Let me trance you. You are in my power. Does it work on people? I know a few that I would love trance. 😛 👿

  22. Don’tcha know those music video directors are friggin’ geniuses? It takes a skilled artist to “direct” those innocent gals to act like scanky hoes. No wonder they get paid kazillions.

  23. oh come on! be reasonable!
    all that :undies: and :boob: and :thong: and :boob: and :boob: and… (you don’t have an ass smiley…) IT’S WHAT SELLS!
    But yeah you’re right I can’t believe they spend so much money paying these retards to make 50 cent even more uglier…

    Thankfully there are still other better directors. like Michael Gordon who did Bjork’s stuff. And rock music directors. All those emo kids and punk rockers with nifty haircuts and claymation and bad editing, *sigh*

    The clips on MTV’s nowadays are a waste of space… that stuff can brainwash you…

    Oh and you need an ass smiley.

  24. tinamarie

    Oh my God! Dave Kirschner’s Rock Concert! I used to stay up until the middle of the night so that I could sneak into the living room and watch it after my parents were asleep. I loved that show! You made my day, JFLY, and I no longer feel quite so old.

    I miss the original days of MTV, back when music videos were good and the music was the thing. Remember when “Thriller” debuted? Remember “Burning Down the House”? Videos used to be a huge piece of the excitement when new music was released. Now they are like fluff pieces attached to the music, and very little interesting things are being done. It’s a shame, too, because music video could be an art form just like the music itself, but it would take effort, something that artists, their management, and the music companies are not often interested in. 🙁

  25. You mean back when they actually showed music videos and not game shows? 😛

  26. hippychick

    I also remember Don Kirschner’s and the debut of MTV. When it was acutally a “Music Television” station. Hell, even VH1 is just as bad. The only videos you can watch are on CMT and who the hell wants to watch that? I haven’t even seen a music video in what seems like forever. I don’t even change the channel to MTV anymore. What’s the point? No more music. Bring back Don Kirschner…”Let the Midnight Special…shine it’s ever lovin’ light on me…”

  27. JFLY

    Thanks guys! Us old folk have got to stick together… 😆

  28. JFLY

    Dave, I have issues with this new stuff of yours.

  29. I disagree. Since when have blogs had bad backup dancers? 😛

    Explain puh-leeze. “I have Issues” doesn’t help me fix anything. 😐

  30. OK, just found the culprit in Internet Exploder for Windows. The images in Caption Time are all 5px too wide for this layout. So I either recreate the layout, or resize 100+ images. :dead:

  31. Let’s hear it for “Don Kirchner’s Rock Concert!” I didn’t know people still admit to watching that.

  32. hippychick

    Fran, we have to hold on to some kind of music therapy since there isn’t any available today. ❓

  33. Aevyta

    > For those of you that can put up with a little indie/ punk/ slasher/ (crappy) rock music, Fuse is what it’s all about. Or was, before I lost cable and the XBox took over the TV. MTV always had crap shows, VH1 just sucked, there was no way in hell I was going to watch CMT so I devoted myself to MuchMusic/ Fuse. Although, I’ve heard that they’ve succomed to “reality” tv lately. :dead:

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