Oh my readers, I have not abandoned you. I am working myself to death slowly. I’ve been in 5 states in four days. Anyway, all this travel got me hating on folks again, so here’s my travel edition of more people we can safely dislike.

UPDATE: No idea how comments got turned off! They are back on.

  1. The guy on the plane who keeps kicking the back of your seat
  2. The woman who comes back from the airplane lavatory with a fresh gallon of perfume on
  3. The psycho next to you who is afraid of flying and keeps grabbing your arm every time turbulence bumps the plane
  4. The douchebag who refuses to turn off his iPod, delaying the flight by 20 minutes
  5. The geriatric couple who can’t figure out how to put their luggage through the X-ray and end up getting frisked at gunpoint by the FAA
  6. The oversexed couple who are nervously making numerous bathroom trips to prep for their Mile High Club initiation
  7. The “important executive” who—like the iPod douchebag—delays takeoff because he needs to make “one more call to his secretary”
  8. The cheesedick who thinks you are genuinely impressed that he can send texts on his Crackberry
  9. The creep who is watching a porn DVD on his laptop. He is seated next to a 10 year-old girl.
  10. The Bible salesman who is insistent on saving your soul; or at least saving you 10% on a leatherbound King James

Which travelers do you hate?

12 thoughts on “More People We Can Safely Dislike #23: Travel Edition

  1. [quote comment=”636429″]Not sure why the comments were turned off. That was odd. :-|[/quote]

    Well, you said that you were in 5 states over 4 days. It appears that one of them was Confusion. You didn’t happen to be in Paranoia, Dementia, Shock, Denial, Limbo, Flux, Disbelief, Delusion, or Decay over the past few days? Some of the travelers that you meet on those trips can definitely put you in a state.

  2. the blimp that weighs 400 lbs is 5’2″ and has halitosis.He generally has a middle seat so that he can annoy both parties in his row.When they hand out the snacks he asks you if you are going to finish your peanuts.
    The best way to handle him is to look at him and say “if the plane goes down , you’d be gooood eating”

  3. I’m afraid Mrs. BWD qualifies for number 3. I’ve learned to wear long sleeves when we fly due to her well manicured nails.

  4. The douche who keeps his light turned on when the rest of us are trying to sleep. This might even be the same guy who wakes you up in the middle of the red-eye flight to go to the washroom.

  5. [quote comment=”636429″]Not sure why the comments were turned off. That was odd. :-|[/quote]
    set comments to stun!!! :geek:

  6. 1. the super dork who looks out his window and says “whoa wouldja lookit that!!!” every 5 minutes. 😯
    2. the silent farter :puke:
    3. the douche in the aisle seat who tries to cop a feel every time a girl walks to the bathroom. listen, douche. we’re onto your arms hanging out or “accidental” yawn-n-stretch move. :wang:

  7. Person who has bad gas, usually the one in front of you. Woman (well dressed) who won’t use the airsick bag but ralphs’ so lady like into her white gloves …. and then puts it into her purse………saw it and didn;t believe my eyes

  8. I did not know you could “cop a feel” these days without getting arrested. Who would do that? As far as annoying goes, most people annoy me regardless of how they behave. 👿

  9. [quote comment=”636603″]’ I’ve been in 5 states in four days.’

    I knew it! You’re an American Idol, aren’t you Dave. C’mon, own up.[/quote]

    Didn’t ya ever notice that you’ve never seen Dave and Simon Cowell in the same room together? Or Paula Abdul for that matter.

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