Incident at table 14

were-beast

[SCENE: Mariko sushi restaurant in Toronto]

Davezilla: Did you see what just walked in?
Natalie: Unfortunately.

[15 minutes later]

Natalie: I swear I can actually hear her eating!
Davezilla: I can, too. Oh Gawd. Don’t turn around.

Natalie: What? What’s it doing?
Davezilla: Trust me. You do not want to know!

Natalie: OK, well tell me when we leave.

[15 minutes later]

Natalie: You were going to tell me of the horror you witnessed.
Davezilla: Gawd. Ready for this? That sound you heard, that was the shrimp tempura being sucked in, two at a time.

Natalie: Hold me, Dave!

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Join the conversation

comment 35 comments
  • Natalie

    She ate the tails – you know, the crunchy, meatless part that you’re supposed to remove because it has the texture of a plasic fork.

    Mariko is a small, quiet place, and this woman definitely stood out.

  • Bobby Peru

    Where’s the camera? It’s a yeti!

  • Chad Brandos

    That’s revolting.

    Thanks for another disturbing bedtime story. Goodnight!

  • Davezilla

    I forgot to add that. She did in fact eat the tails, too. [shudders]

  • Esther

    I happen to know a Yeti, and she has much better eating habits than that!

    As a shrimp tempura fan, this makes me want to shudder and cry.

  • Mandy

    Is this a penis or a shrimp? :limp:

  • Spud

    A shrimped penis?

    😕

  • TinaMarie

    I’ve eaten a few tails in my lifetime, and it wasn’t too bad. Of course, I didn’t always swallow. :wang::wtf:

  • Spud

    All womans should swallow.

  • wantwit

    EVARY PART OF TEH SHRIMP IS DELISHOUS!

  • Davezilla

    Truer words were never spoken, Todd.

  • mikeB

    Natalie, you said “this woman definitely stood out.” That is no woman. I refuse to believe it.

  • lurker

    IS THAT AIRBRUHSED OR MS PAINT?

  • Davezilla

    No, it was TEH pencil and TEH Photoshop. 😛

  • rust

    That woman wouldn’t be about 50, would she? Body odour? Loud?

    F*ck, my EX-sister’s back in T.O.

  • Spud

    I just looked closely at that drawing…

    Is that an original Davezilla?

    If so, it’s a f**king ripper!
    😀

  • Davezilla

    Yeah, scribbled it out last night. I had a better sketch on a napkin, but left it with Natalie. 😕

  • Spud

    Ohhh yeah!
    Big Mommas a eatin
    So don’t y’all stare
    Lessin ya want a beatin

    Truly a scary sight, nothing says f**k off like 2 prawns sticking out of your mouth.
    :wtf:

  • ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    Well it’s nice to see some accurate observational artwork for a change and in a strange sense……

    I feel that L.S Lowry would be so proud.

    Okay he painted “matchstick men” and “matchstick dogs”, but I bet he would have given his right arm to paint a

    “MATCHSTICK WEREPIG, SHRIMP SLURPING CHUB MONSTER!”

    I know I would……..:???:

  • ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    P.S He would have done it in an industrial setting though…….maybe called it “Woman with Shrimp”

    🙄

  • ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    Fat Bitch Al Fresco?

    😕

  • Davezilla

    The sushi chef committed seppuku after seeing her eat. :wtf:

  • Moxie

    I told ya it was The Penguin.

  • ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    Did he just bite his own tongue off in disgust according to the Ninja No Sekai…….

    or maybe the samurai honour code, compelled him to throw himself into her mouth?

    Banzai Indeed!

    😕

  • Natalie

    Also, there was an avalanche of rice coating her ample bosom. I had almost managed to block that memory forgotten that.

  • Davezilla

    “Ample bosom” is such a kind way of describing what I would term, “pendulous teats”. 😛

  • Esther

    Blech. :dead:

  • Lace Valentine

    Bilateral shrimp sucking? With tail crunching goodness?

    Oh the horror! the horror!

    😮

  • And back from the crypt comes... HOBBIT!

    Wow… That’s a disgrace to shrimp everywhere.

    :dead:

  • HamHa

    Truer words were never spoken, Hobbit.

    That’s almost as revolting as a freind of mine who’s going through his “I refuse to use my hands in any way to eat” phase.
    Ugh.
    😕

  • HamHa

    Truer words were never spoken, Hobbit.

    That’s almost as revolting as a freind of mine who’s going through his “I refuse to use my hands in any way to eat” phase.
    Ugh.
    😕

  • HamHa

    Yay! Hobbit’s back!
    Is it stinky in the crypt?

    That’s almost as revolting as a freind of mine who’s going through his “I refuse to use my hands in any way to eat” phase.
    😕

  • HamHa

    Whoa….triple post…ish.
    Sorry about that.
    Please don’t kill me.
    :wtf:

  • Minnie

    Yuck, that’s disgusting. But… seeing your fantastic caricature made up for any rising nausea.
    I have missed your caricatures SO much; please, please do them more often! 😀

  • blogs & bluffs

    recordatorios
    uno Deberíamos dejar de pensar que hablar de pescado crudo queda bonito. Todos los autores de weblogs hispanoparlantes parecen tener…

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