Worst things about dating a Werewolf


  1. Having to take them out for walksies at midnight
  2. Finding 18″flea collars
  3. They crotch sniff your boss at the company Christmas party
  4. Finding your sex toys chewed up behind the sofa
  5. The bones buried in the backyard look human
  6. The high turnover of mailmen
  7. Knowing that the tongue was last used as toilet paper
  8. When you play tennis with them, they growl and won’t give up the ball
  9. Always wondering if, “I had some friends for dinner,” should be taken literally
  10. Two words: leg humping
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Show 22 Comments


  1. Zinta

    Think of the hair left in the shower… or in the bed… or on the carpet… jeez

    The good side is that when a burglar breaks in… Dinner is served!

    One word… FLEAS.

  2. Lisa

    1) Having them tree your cat.
    2) Having them chew up your new shoes.
    3) Not being able to take them to the grocery store because all they want to do is hang out in the Meat Isle.
    Fun things about Dating a werewolf…
    1) Having them tree your neighbor.
    2) Having them chew your old shoes (any excuse to buy more will do).
    3) Taking them to Pet Smart and turning them loose.

  3. – Having to explain to your Mom that – No a lycanthrope is nothing like a scientologist.
    – Taking the concept of ‘morning breath’ to a whole new level.
    – Canine under bite kills any desire for wild passionate kissing.
    – Having to throw out all the family silver.
    – Tends to drive with his head stuck out the side window.
    – Can never wear a tuxedo again – not after that tail-chasing incident at the ambassador’s ball.

  4. bhamm

    – Constantly avoiding angry mobs carrying pitchforks
    – You ever try to housebreak a werewolf?
    – All of his friends either want to drink blood, curse the living, or return to the swamp from which they came.

  5. As opposed to dating a vampire, which just sucks.

  6. mikeB

    [Comment ID #75977 will be quoted here]

    Bloody clever, Natalie! 😈

  7. Spud

    One word – Drool

    Yes, Drool, this will be the biggest drawback to your significant other being of the werewolf persausion.


  8. Lisa

    Tail wagging everytime he sees a pretty girl.

  9. He always wants to do it “doggy style.”
    One love bite from him and you turn into a werewolf too.
    He’s hairier than Robin Williams.

  10. junkman

    given the day, i refuse to believe that there could be such a thing as a werewolf. tommorrow or yesterday i might have responded.

  11. Drusky

    No longer being able to keep Coors Silver Bullet in your fridge…
    [Comment ID #75975 will be quoted here]
    Tom Cruise is so going to kick your ass for that…

    😈 😆

  12. trying to explain to your loved one that flea and tick powder IS NOT an aphrodisiac
    the whole penis disappearing trick (if you’re into fellas) :limp: :limp:
    not being able to keep any roses in the house (hoo haaa check your shelley!)
    MAJOR dentist bills

  13. mikeB

    Rabies shots after oral.

  14. Lisa

    Tom Cruise kicking someone’s ass? More like he’ll jump on their couch. Of course then, afterwards, the mothership will beam him right up.

  15. charlie

    Trying to break them of ‘marking their territory’ in the house (or anywhere else, for that matter).

  16. Patrick

    Hickies, dude. Serious hickies. As in, “where the fuck did half my neck go?”

  17. griz

    The howling during sex will get you booted out of the condo for sure.

  18. the whole penis disappearing trick (if you’re into fellas)

    Hey! Wait a minute! I have never seen a female werewolf in fiction – they’re always male! What gives?

  19. Brent

    “lycanthrope”, I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve heard that word used in normal conversation.

  20. Brent

    P.S., Penguin, I know of one for sure in clevland.

Comments are closed