Worst ringtones ever

  1. Car alarm going off
  2. Hyenas fighting over bones
  3. Blender full of silverware
  4. Angry baby
  5. Chiropractor adjusting a spine
  6. Dentist’s drill
  7. Nails on chalkboard
  8. Garbage disposal with a spoon in it
  9. Air horn
  10. Celine Dion

What do you tihnk the worst ringtone would be?

With suggestions from Natalie, Jason, Liz B. And Lynette R.

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  1. Bear

    The Standard Nokia ring tone…got to be the most anoying sound ever

  2. Toddler grocery store tantrum?

    I think I’d actually like hyenas fighting over bones.

  3. Bodily emmissions:
    Any combination of said emmissions i.e. Sharting

    Mother In-Law’s voice
    Chris Tucker
    Pig Squealing
    (could all be the same, technically ?)

  4. Aside from the aforementioned Nokia default, there’s the Nextel sound. Horrid.

  5. Marcus

    Worse than a fart the wet fart. Also anything with Bitchy Spears. Had a rooster ring tone once. I used it to piss off a couple roosters. They kept looking for the other rooster, but just found me.

  6. The sound of some guy taking a big old manly piss in a deep toilet with great acoustic resonance.

  7. Alex Ballew

    Any song by Britney spears.

  8. Mjaz

    A sitcom laugh track
    Air raid signal

  9. Mjaz

    strange.. hey Dave – the line break function is acting weird on your site.

    My post was supposed to be:

    A sitcom laugh track Air raid signal.

  10. Mjaz

    OK Dave.. is it April fools day?

    1) A sitcom Laugh track

    2) Air Raid signal

    And, it’s not even funny anymore 🙁

  11. pam58pam

    Hilary Clinton’s laugh uuuuugggggghhhhhhhhh ❓

  12. Bigwavdave

    I got nuthin’ for ya’ – Head back to camp.

  13. Nik

    [Comment ID #220683 will be quoted here]

    Complete with manly grunts and other such noises.

  14. hoatzin

    a. Phyllis Diller singing
    b. Sounds from a Russian outhouse the morning after All-You-Can-Eat Borscht Day
    c. Fran Drescher laughing
    d. Any Christmas music when it’s NOT the week before Christmas

  15. Fleetwood

    Kitty’s laugh,from that 70’s Show.

  16. 1) Barbara Streisand singing. Or just even talking.
    2) A wet cough.
    3) A howler monkey.
    4) Bjork.

  17. Spud

    [Comment ID #220674 will be quoted here]

    Oh yes, that tone needs eradicating from the human Psyche.


  18. [Comment ID #220700 will be quoted here]

    Sorry Dear, howler monket & Bjork are the same thing.

    We would have also accepted Bobcat Golthwait

  19. Akshully, my two favourite ringtones are ones I recorded myself. One is just me, shouting out “Answer the damn phone! ANSWER the DAMN PHONE!”

    And the other, I did a very convincing Trek tone, which people think is the real Scotty but it’s me!
    It goes “Beep Beep (yes, my own sound like the communicator sound), Enterprise tuh Captain Kirk, ENTERPRISE tuh Captain KIRK!”

    I am such a geek. :geek:

  20. Fleetwood

    A fat chicks thighs rubbing together while she walks.
    Any TV car commercial
    George Bush attempting to pronouce an Arab name
    Rap song by Snoop Hog, Ice bucket,or Busta Hiney
    Throat clearing hocker sound
    The pain sound made by any guy getting hit in the nads
    Sinus clearing nose blow

  21. Fleetwood

    The line break function is still screwed.

  22. patrick
    1. A co-worker has ringtone that is an old analog telephone. How last century is that?
    2. Any ringtone that screams “pick up the phone” or “hey its the phone”. Yeah, I get it.
    3. Anything associated with Larry the Cable Guy.


  23. Fleetwood

    Richard Simmons Butt Scream the night Big Bubba comes over.
    Mexican music.
    Anything said by your X wives.

  24. Fleetwood

    Today’s video link

  25. Worst Ringtones ever?

    ALL OF THEM. Put that shit on vibrate when you are in public.

  26. Driver

    How about Best Ringtones Ever like-

    1 The sound of any one or all of the Zillagirlz having a massive orgasm.

    2 The crack of Mistress Darlas whip.

    3 AnnieB’s Fuck rant.

    4 Any sexy line from one of Astryd’s adult writings.

    Does anyone know where I can get that air horn ringtone?

  27. Fleetwood: Mexican music? …That hurts… ❓
    Any default carrier ringtone.

  28. Lake Effect

    I have some high-tone hearing loss, and it’s hard to find I phone I can hear when it’s in a thick holder, or a jacket pocket or another room. But I’d pay extra for any on your original list (except for #1 of course). I’ve experienced ‘garbage disposer with spoon’ and that’ll get your attention everytime.

  29. Fleetwood

    [Comment ID #220713 will be quoted here]
    Sorry my dear, nothing personal. Living in AZ, I hear more of it than I should. I love Latino women with their, big busts, long legs, and short skirts!

  30. chainstay

    Might be interesting or annoying, to have one that that went “Help, Help, let me out it’s dark in here and I can’t breath.”

  31. Fleetwood

    Flaming fart sound after eating Mexican.
    Smokers hack

  32. astroknut

    Pres. Bush’s voice. :limp:

  33. Off the subject: Dave what does pwned mean? :wtf:

  34. TheMrDoug

    Blender full of Angry baby
    Dentist drill on your spine
    Celine Dion in a garbage disposal

  35. [Comment ID #220724 will be quoted here]

    I’d actually like to see Celine Dion in a garbage disposal. Anything to keep her from coming back here to Canada. 👿

  36. Fleetwood

    [Comment ID #220727 will be quoted here]You must take her back. We can’t stand it anymore!

  37. Chris S

    Any that use that high-pitched wailing Indian/middle east/north afican music. There is almost never any low bass sound so all you get is screeching high treble, the singers wail up and down and every song is played at 4,000 dB. It instantly makes my ears bleed.

  38. brad s.

    definatly britney spears,but the worst is my boss when he talks like he knows what he’s doing.

  39. Flash Gordon

    AnnieB. fighting with a bobcat in a large burlap
    bag. :kiss: :boob: :boob: :thong: :wang: :wang:

  40. Flash Gordon

    This is the ever-popular Studebaker, AnnieB.
    Bring back memories? :kiss: :kiss: 😛 :wang:

  41. [Comment ID #220731 will be quoted here]

    Hmmm, a hellcat and a bobcat … it wouldn’t be long until the only sound you heard was me purring .. full and contented.

    [Comment ID #220732 will be quoted here]

    That sure is one ugly ride Flash.

    You know you say my name quite often in your comments … I think it’s time you started sending me flowers or something. 😛

  42. Flash Gordon

    Ugly is in the eye of the beholder. I just try to
    pull your chain, Zillagirl. :kiss: :kiss: ❓

  43. Spud

    [Comment ID #220722 will be quoted here]


  44. The Charles in Charge Theme song. The fact that Scott Baio is back on TV in any form is frightening! :wtf:

  45. [Comment ID #220736 will be quoted here]

    I know you try … 😆

    Okay to be fair, I found a website and looked at some of these and I did find the 1950 Commander Regal Deluxe Convertible and the Roadster Show Car to be right purdy. The bomber grill is kind of neat also. You must admit you did pick one with a really ugly color, jeez.

  46. Flash Gordon

    [Comment ID #220764 will be quoted here]

    Absolutely it is an ugly color. But the car would
    run like a scalded dog. BTW, I would love to send
    flowers, but I suspect my wife would not be amused. 😮 :kiss: :java: :dead:

  47. Supercharged_goddess

    Well- that’s a no-brainer, Flash- ask her(your wife) to join in!

  48. julesOdeNile

    [Comment ID #220827 will be quoted here]
    i likes how you thinks……….
    :boob: :wang: :boob: :undies: 🙂 :thong: 😆 :wang: 😆

  49. [Comment ID #220825 will be quoted here]

    Oh, I’d say your wife has a great sense of humor … otherwise you’d be a dead man by now. 😛

  50. Chris S

    [Comment ID #220722 will be quoted here]

    It is a computer geek word, one that began as a typo (sort of like “teh” instead of “the”) and just caught on in popularity. It means “owned” like when you kick someone’s ass real bad in a video game you would say ‘You got owned!’. Somewhere along the line the typo came about and it stuck. There are a bunch of these kind of things in geek speak.

  51. [Comment ID #220728 will be quoted here]

    Well, neither can I! How about we just dump her in the ocean with the Titanic?

  52. I heard a spot on the Wall Street Journal radio show talking about new ring tones culled straight form the most popular porn movies. Then they played a moany, breathy, squealy sample of it. The host sai, “Whoooaaa, don’t let that go off while at you’re at the church potluck supper.”

    Exactly. 🙂

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