Where the beautiful people are

Back in the 1980s when it seemed every major city had a goth club called “Asylum” or “Sanctuary”, there was an upsurge in singles bars for yuppies. Most had catchy, but annoying, two-syllable names like, “Scruples” or “Mixers” or “Wombats”. Recently, specialty clubs for special needs groups have popped up around the world. I imagine they’d have names like …

  1. Distractions: For singles with A.D.D.
  2. Twitches: The meeting place for singles with Tourette Syndrome.
  3. Wheezer’s: Where well-to-do asthmatics mingle.
  4. Poseurs: The place for aging new wavers.
  5. Stumpy’s: Serving the single amputee since 1982.
  6. Trekkies! for the permanently single.
  7. Doody’s: A continental dining experience for the incontinent.
  8. Mullets: A NASCAR singles bar.
  9. Stanky’s: Where the great unwashed masses mingle
  10. Furries Place for Pervies
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Show 30 Comments


  1. Esther

    Hmmm, maybe I don’t need to out more, after all.

    Can anybody figure out exactly what is popping out from under Queen Amidala’s, um, dress?

  2. Esther

    That would be ‘go out’ more, not out anybody more.:grin::oops:

  3. Poofles

    Undies for Japanese businessmen :undies:

  4. Nappies, for incontinent seniors like you and me!


  5. and don’t forget,
    BLOGGER’s, for people with NO social skills whatsoever!

  6. oh, of course, there’s my personal favourite:
    RUSTY’s — for the cast-iron clad clod who should be visiting NAPPIE’s

  7. :boxers:

    SHORTS … for middle-aged men who buy Corvettes …

    PIERCED … for Davezilla.com readers/commenters/kinky submitters …

    SUBMISSIONS … see above

    LINERS … for goth chicks w/P.M.S. … it’s only a GAY BAR by default, ‘cuz the men are scared to go in there … (it’s next door to “SUBMISSIONS”)

  8. wantwit

    don’t forget “BALLS & CHAINS” for the BDSM married gay swingers scene. :wtf:

  9. frisko

    I have never seen Star Wars the film all the way through. I seem to always fall asleep during the film. The reason is perfectly clear.

    Fun with emocons


  10. Spud

    Scratchies – where discerning irritants gather.

  11. Mandy

    I love the new icons! Too bad most of your readers are commando! :kiss:

  12. You say that as though it were a bad thing, Mandy. 😈

  13. You mean there are conventions for star wars, this is not an urban legend? Do these people need a life? A job?:roll:


  14. CJ

    The Offshore Drilling Rig or for a stripclub the Manhole

  15. Anna

    I’m overwhelmed. Can’t think of anything, except that that is really impressive.

    Well, okay, “Golden Rain” – where the sprinkler system is filled with urine.

    Did anyone see Shawny Davis become the first african-american skating champion (last weekend in Moskou)? He, Derek Parra, KC Boutiette and another (forgot his name) beat the rest of the skating world (Holland) to shit.
    Really good to see (we’ve been domineering for the last 10 years, so finally somebody else ….)

  16. Anna

    or is that “dominating” … whatever

  17. frisko

    I put boobs and pink panties on Wil Weaton.
    Too much homework, to little tomfoolery.

  18. :geek:
    Ahh! I’ve been reminded of another bar I used to go to:
    Losers, where Wil Wheaton’s posse hangs out

  19. Mojo Jojo, where the Powerpuff Girls go to kick back and cruise for “HIM”

  20. The Blogtown Cafe` – where all live journal folk meet up and say – “Hey are you Rob195? Cool! It is me BadMofo420! Your bio said you were 6’3″… ”

    Rob195, “No, I am 63 inches. Hahahahahahahahaha!”

  21. mikeB

    I want to know where this Wombats club is. :wtf:

  22. Lace Valentine

    BLOGGERS– :geek: That place where you drink, and then write about how your drinking was and what you drank and how much it cost and who was there, ala Andy Warhol diary. Mood: crapulent.

    UNDIES– :boxers: :undies: A bar where overweight women in lingerie and balding men in boxers can recall the glory days of Fleetwood Mac.

    STALLONE’S–:twisted: In Philly, Rocky memorabilia hangs on the wall and girls from south Jersey arm wrestle with unemployed car mechanics.

    ASTROS–:idea: New Agers, Astrologers and Wiccans gather in Bacchanal covens upon barstools.

  23. mikeB

    Dumbfucks: Self explanatory. :dead:

  24. Esther

    I bet that place is always packed, too. 😐

  25. julie

    My boyfriend works there. 😛

  26. Esther

    I hope that’s not where you met him, julie.:!:

  27. COOTIES: not a bar where alcohol is served, but where pre-adolescents congregate to avoid getting them.

  28. julie

    No, he’s just acting like one lately. 😐
    No :boobs::boobs: for him!

  29. EIGHTIES – where I’m going to be hangin’ out in six decades or so, wearin’ my goth make-up :dead:, my sexy lingerie :thong: (or :undies: Depends, if I even HAVE a bladder by then… if not, I’ll go COMMANDO, like I am at the moment), wearin’ a leather brassiere for my :boobs::boobs: (because, well … gravity DOES take its toll, boyz), and drinkin’ my Guinness out of a :java: cup, tryin’ relive my childhood from that decade known as “The Friggin’ Riggin Years” (as my grandmother would have said).


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