Unused euphemisms for girly bits

  1. Velvet Lounge Usage: “The Velvet Lounge is open for business.”
  2. Hip Sconce Usage: “The hip sconce needs attending to.”
  3. Soft Cloth Car Wash* Usage: “Like a run through the ole Soft Cloth Car Wash?”
  4. LOLPUSSEH Usage: “Lolpusseh am in ur unerwarez, taunting ur mens.”
  5. Spadina Usage: “That’s a rather large Spadina you have there.”
  6. What are your personal names for girly bits? Please don’t be too gross.

With assistance from the lovely Natalie

See also: Unused euphemisms for boy bits

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Show 45 Comments


  1. Velvet Lounge! Awesome. I am going to implement it into my vocabulary.

    Here’s one from me (off the top of my head) — Lady Chatterley.

  2. Funky Cold Spadina!

    I believe the worst one I ever heard was from a bunch of foul-mouthed chefs competing for the worst euphemism: Bacon Trench

  3. rosebuddls

    A comedian I once listened to called it Christmas, which makes all kinds of old phrases have new meaning.
    “Christmas Present” 🙂

  4. Nicholle

    We’re fond of the term ‘kittimus maximus’ 😆

  5. Jay Laverdure

    “Squidlips” & “Knobby”, The Wonder-twins (Form of/Shape of…?)!

  6. Spud

    I have no idea where I heard it, but it stuck…

    “Little man in a boat”

  7. Mjaz

    whoopee cushion?

  8. Anna

    the forgotten country …. 🙁

  9. Anna

    Velvet Lounge?? no no no. Velvet Underground!

  10. AnnieB

    Sweet music maker: Some assembly required. Microphone suggested for recording your own personal favorites. Circuit overloads virtually nonexistent.

  11. Buck

    Gash, lucy, monkey, mushi and anything mentioned in the Bloodhound Gang song “Foxtrot, Uniform, Charlie, Kilo.”

    :wang: = Dude piston

  12. Amber

    Jose and his Taco Stand :undies:

  13. Infernos

    punda – from a Greek friend of mine

    who who – from Boys On The Side

    Wizard Sleeve – from Drawn Together … I guess this goes with a Magic Sword.

    Pilot’s Lounge – better than c*ck pit I guess

    and one of my favorites… The Queen’s Latifa

  14. The Hot Dog Bun
    The Fox Hole
    The Shaved Kitty

  15. junkman

    the ruby slipper
    little slice o’ heaven
    vertical smile
    red snapper
    xxx box
    shot slot
    fox hole
    puddin’ cup
    honey pot
    sugar bowl
    hot pocket
    oven mitt
    burning bush
    venus flycatcher
    tipper gore (well, she’s a cunt) :wang:

  16. Bigwavdave

    Nappy Canoe
    Monster of Love
    Bearded Clam
    “somewhere safe to bury my bone…” RW

  17. StevieC

    -My happy place
    -Meals on Heels

  18. CaffeineAddict

    Pleasure Island

  19. “____ Kitty” (wet, bald, shaved, fluffy, licked, spanked, spoiled, hot, etc)
    Pink Taco
    Pink Taco Stand
    Lady Liberty
    Lady for your Tramp
    Miss Muffet’s Tuffet
    Cave of Wonders
    Amusement Park (I’ve shut down the factory, it’s an Amusement Park)
    Rapids (ride on the Rapids)

    The Girls
    Boob magnets (play on words: Boob=Idiot)
    Caramel Mounds (with cherry on top)
    Milk Shakes/Jugs
    Leverne and Shirley
    Cindy and Mindy
    Pati, Pami
    Las Chicas
    Las Ninas
    Las Indecentes
    Tig Bitties
    Awesome Twosome
    Gruesome Twosome

  20. StevieC

    So Astryd, which of the girls is your favourite – the left :boob: or the right :boob:?

  21. Left. It’s the spiritual side and I love to voice my (ahem) ardent devotion…Mm, oh yes, Ooh! Oh God!… 😛

    …But the right demands attention as well.

  22. Update: My father is still critical in the IC. He woke up a few times and recognized those of us around him. He has speech but it’s slurred and somewhat incoherent. He fades out and can’t be woken up again (he wakes up periodically on his own but not when stirred or talked to). I’ve never seen him this bad but on a good note, he’s not having the seizures every time we wakes up and when he does he can see and san speak…kind of.
    I have faith and hope that he’ll come out of this one as well. I feel a little better now that I’ve seen him but upset that I had to come back to work and leave him as is.
    The nurses say they know him well by now and that they know he’s gonna fight through it to his limits and beyond. They kinda joked and said that he’s probably sitting with God giving him an earful on why he shouldn’t be there cuz that’s what he does when he’s at the hospital and that he’s probably sneaking back without permission, that’s why he’s going in and out of conciousness so much… 😀
    Thank you all for your support!

  23. StevieC

    Just wondering since I’m left-handed 😈

  24. Drusky

    *Tuna Taco
    *Slow Tuna Boat to Spitville
    *The Ejection Seat
    *Pandora’s Box
    *The Honey Hole

    [Comment ID #175819 will be quoted here]

    A John Denver song comes to mind…
    “Rocky Mountain High”… 😛

  25. Bjorn Freeh

    Hmmm… today’s topic must be somehow related to why Michael Jackson named his home, “Neverland”.

  26. Ya know, I never thought of naming the twins until now, so I’ve determined that the left one is Betty and the right one is Bertha.
    Betty, Bertha, say hello to everyone :boob: :boob:

  27. Flash Gordon

    “Miss Muffett’s Tuffet”—Bwaa,ha,ha,ha!
    How about her twat? cooze? socket? :wang killer
    :undies: :thong: :boob: :boob:

  28. Anton

    weasel den
    rocket pocket
    knot hole (as opposed to the NOT hole)
    toothless beaver

  29. pablo

    [Comment ID #175870 will be quoted here]

    If you named them Betty & Wilma you could have a Yabbos dabbo doo time.

  30. “…Bacon Trench”

    OMG… I can’t stop laughing!!

  31. dougieace

    fort knox

  32. My fave term for girlie bits: squishmitten
    My fave term for boy bits: shweenus

  33. At my dad’s house, per his wife, we are not allowed to call ‘bits’ anything other than,
    Corazones(hearts) :boob: :boob:
    Flor(flower) :thong:
    and Cochino Meion(baby talk for dirty pee-er) :wang: .
    It drives me nuts still! I don’t want my son calling his penis a dirty pee-er, wouldn’t that cause some irreversible deep-seeded mental anguish in the long run?

  34. family jules

    In my husband’s family, boy bits are noonies and girl bits are wattzies. No one in the whole family knows why, but they all call it the same things.

  35. junkman

    when we were little the acceptable terms were that a boy had a dinky and a girl had a doodle. dinky cars were always strange for me as was doodle art when it came out. :wtf:

  36. I think when I was a kid, we called it a pee-pee :wang: , a hoohah :undies: and bazungas :boob: :boob:

  37. Yougottabekiddingme

    Barnes and Noble.

  38. I wuz thinkin that if a girly bit is called “Spadina” (by the way, there are two ways of pronouncing that: Spuh DEE nuh Road, Spuh DIE nuh Avenue — see here) the reciprocating boy bit should be known as “Dundas” – as in, take the red rocket to Dundas and Spadina.

    Just goes to prove you can take the boy out of Toronto, but you can’t take Toronto outta the boy.

  39. jc

    I always thought it was the no-no place

    when we were little the acceptable terms were that a boy had a dinky and a girl had a doodle. dinky cars were always strange for me as was doodle art when it came out. :wtf: (LMAO) Too funny

  40. [Comment ID #176938 will be quoted here]

    I’ll remember that next time I’m in Toronto and going down Dundas and walking up Spadina.

  41. Kkkkathryn

    Prune-o-pleasure? prunella? (I suppose these examples are “prunerisms”) Sticky wicket? What?

Comments are closed