Things we’d like to see

It is the job of an advertising mascot to amuse us and help us remember a particular product. Unfortunately, most of them serve only to annoy the bejeezus out of us. All week I will be getting out my aggressions on the mascots we’ve come to hate.

I detest the Arby’s Oven Mitt and the Hamburger Helper Hand and want to see them turned into a voodoo poppet and hand of glory, respectively.


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  1. PaganJewLilBro

    does the voodoo mitt torture arbys employees? or kill cows?


  2. Hand of glory, hmmmmm.

    Would that be related to a glory hole by any chance?

  3. Anna

    As luck has it we, at least we in Holland, are way behind (or way ahead, whichever way you look at it) since we only have cigarettelighters, umbrella’s, caps and stuff like that with brandnames on them. Ofcourse we get ‘imports’ from the US, but on a very small scale. Thank God (or Ronald McD.).

  4. You know, I feel the same way about the Snuggles Bear. He totally creeps me out. One night, years ago, I had a terrible dream that the Snuggles Bear was chasing me with a scalpel. The next day I woke up and he was the FIRST THING I saw on the TV.

    I haven’t done the laundry without thinking about that since.

  5. Spud

    I find a picture of an oven glove with pins sticking in it, somewhat disturbing.

    On the other hand …

  6. Tom Arnold’s voice coming out of an oven mit is pretty bothersome. But it’s good to see a hand with a job.

  7. Please, please, please do something about the Pillsbury Doughboy freak!

  8. Don’t worry, Lynne. The cringe-worthy pastry-boy is next. As I write this, a Wal-Mart ad with a talking gingerbread man (who sounds suspiciously like SNL’s Mr. Bill) is on.

  9. Esther

    Hey DaveO, you forgot the ‘Badump-bump-tssssh!’ after that. 😉

    I agree w/Stacy, in that Snuggles is a spawn from the lower depths of hell, and needs to be destroyed. Preferably tortured first, w/needles dipped in acidic fabric softener, and made to watch the entire Barney series.

  10. I think Esther mentioning Barney should surely earn her a place in the 6th ring of hell.

  11. Esther


    I’ll have you know I’m already there. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment to go torture the Teletubbies. 😈

  12. I saw a Hamburger Helper commercial today and thought of you.

  13. Frisko

    I vote to keep the porcupine vs the snuggle bear. I think the bear is a resurection from Pet Semetary.


  14. The Hamburger Helper hand is the black sheep of Thing’s family.

  15. Apparantly, I’m not the only one who doesn’t like the Snuggles Bear.

    Here’s more info than you needed to know about him, including a Letterman Top 10 List from the 80s

    And once upon a time, Snuggles got into a Grudge Match with Winnie the Pooh!

    And I don’t quite know WHAT to say about this…

    Oh, and looks like Snuggles learned the hard way where not to put Vicks Vapo-Rub. 🙂

    Stay tuned to my site for my own Snuggles Bear torture. 🙂

  16. Thank you for that – I hate that goddamn oven mitt!

  17. Lace Valentine

    Impromptu song

    Why O why mister
    do cartoon hands
    always have three fingers
    and not four?
    Did one get slammed in the door?

    Is it the pinky gone–No!
    Is it the ring finger–naw ahh
    Is it the index finger–No Joe
    It’s the middle finger, the
    middle finger is gone
    and that’s just wrong.

  18. Cheap Date

    no more bloody marys for Lace Valentine!!

  19. verago

    Muahahaha! I just put a hex invoking the archdemons from the deepest abyss of Hell to smite the people that have pizzed me off! Muahahahahahahaha!!! :evil::evil::evil::evil::evil:

Comments are closed