The mind is not the first thing to go

Four years ago I had a neighbor that reeked so powerfully of God knows what that I thought I had smelled the doorway to Hell’s outhouse. He was later incarcerated, presumably for impersonating a septic tank. For the last two years, my Albanian neighbors have been cooking up dishes that must surely consist of wet dog fur and old jockstraps (traditional recipe). Truly that was the most noisome odor.

That is, until Tuesday evening.

The Bacchanalian bimbos that live to the right of me concocted the most fetid, noxious stench this side of Hades. Mind you, despite their habit of leaving their lingerie in the hallway, they are rather clean, so the smell roused my suspicions that possibly something was burning.

Perhaps they were suddenly detained by one of those all too common accidents that happen to women in the movies. You know, an accidental bumping of shoulders in the kitchen turns into an instant girl-on-girl lovefest. I know it happens. Constantly. Really. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. Excuse me, I’m digressing…

I knocked on the door and Karen answered, fully dressed for once, and toking on a joint so thick I mistook it for an Arturo Fuentes Double Corona. The weed was obviously a cheap homegrown variety — the type one often sees springing up between the sidewalk cracks outside Detroit’s 3rd Precinct Police Station.

If the smell of the pot wasn’t rancid enough to make a Jamaican sick, then dinner surely was. A starving pack of shrews would shy from this. Broiled Brussel Sprouts. I use the term broiled loosely. Perhaps cremated would be more apropos. The two odors together confected such a fatal fetor that rust was forming on the stovetop and fixtures.

My 41st birthday is this Sunday. They say the memory is the first thing to go. For me, it will be any sense of smell.

viagra
free viagra
buy viagra online
generic viagra
how does viagra work
cheap viagra
buy viagra
buy viagra online inurl
viagra 6 free samples
viagra online
viagra for women
viagra side effects
female viagra
natural viagra
online viagra
cheapest viagra prices
herbal viagra
alternative to viagra
buy generic viagra
purchase viagra online
free viagra without prescription
viagra attorneys
free viagra samples before buying
buy generic viagra cheap
viagra uk
generic viagra online
try viagra for free
generic viagra from india
fda approves viagra
free viagra sample
what is better viagra or levitra
discount generic viagra online
viagra cialis levitra
viagra dosage
viagra cheap
viagra on line
best price for viagra
free sample pack of viagra
viagra generic
viagra without prescription
discount viagra
gay viagra
mail order viagra
viagra inurl
generic viagra online paypal
generic viagra overnight
generic viagra online pharmacy
generic viagra uk
buy cheap viagra online uk
suppliers of viagra
how long does viagra last
viagra sex
generic viagra soft tabs
generic viagra 100mg
buy viagra onli
generic viagra online without prescription
viagra energy drink
cheapest uk supplier viagra
viagra cialis
generic viagra safe
viagra professional
viagra sales
viagra free trial pack
viagra lawyers
over the counter viagra
best price for generic viagra
viagra jokes
buying viagra
viagra samples
viagra sample
cialis
generic cialis
cheapest cialis
buy cialis online
buying generic cialis
cialis for order
what are the side effects of cialis
buy generic cialis
what is the generic name for cialis
cheap cialis
cialis online
buy cialis
cialis side effects
how long does cialis last
cialis forum
cialis lawyer ohio
cialis attorneys
cialis attorney columbus
cialis injury lawyer ohio
cialis injury attorney ohio
cialis injury lawyer columbus
prices cialis
cialis lawyers
viagra cialis levitra
cialis lawyer columbus
online generic cialis
daily cialis
cialis injury attorney columbus
cialis attorney ohio
cialis cost
cialis professional
cialis super active
how does cialis work
what does cialis look like
cialis drug
viagra cialis
cialis to buy new zealand
cialis without prescription
free cialis
cialis soft tabs
discount cialis
cialis generic
generic cialis from india
cheap cialis sale online
cialis daily
cialis reviews
cialis generico
how can i take cialis
cheap cialis si
cialis vs viagra
levitra
generic levitra
levitra attorneys
what is better viagra or levitra
viagra cialis levitra
levitra side effects
buy levitra
levitra online
levitra dangers
how does levitra work
levitra lawyers
what is the difference between levitra and viagra
levitra versus viagra
which works better viagra or levitra
buy levitra and overnight shipping
levitra vs viagra
canidan pharmacies levitra
how long does levitra last
viagra cialis levitra
levitra acheter
comprare levitra
levitra ohne rezept
levitra 20mg
levitra senza ricetta
cheapest generic levitra
levitra compra
cheap levitra
levitra overnight
levitra generika
levitra kaufen

25 Replies to “The mind is not the first thing to go”

  1. Wow, a stoner that answers the door smoking a joint. They definitely aren’t paranoid.

    All the stoners I knew would’ve freaked out and started hiding everything. Then answered the door nervously, making it quite obvious that they were up to no good.

  2. I’m torn between suggesting that you try and move to an apartment complex that isn’t in the seventh level of hell, or just sit back, and enjoy all the trouble those crazy kids love to get into.:grin:

  3. I noticed it again!!
    How come Americans always have to place a country or city in front of alot of things. Brussels Sprouts, French Fries, German shepard Pie, English Muffin, French kiss, Dutch treat.
    “We” have Sprouts, fries and muffins.
    We ONLY have the kisses WITH tongue, so they are “kiss”.

    Can someone explain to me the use of the tongueless kiss?

  4. On the other hand, I sense a book or short novel about this apartment block.

    you could call it …

    The Apartment
    ~ DaveZilla

    THE concise history of what the neighbours did last night.

    Comes complete with a unique smello-jello­ pag, for that unique sensation.

    $29.95*

    *plus postage & handling & statutory dealer charges & expenses.

  5. So what I gather about Europe is:
    1) It is unacceptable to kiss family members on the mouth.
    2) The tongue is always used in a kiss.
    3) Therefore, if I am Anna’s long-lost cousin, a polite greeting will be to lick her below the neck.

    I am moving to Europe now. :wang:

  6. How come Americans always have to place a country or city in front of alot of things
    Simple, dear Anna. We have too many food items. If you went to a vegetarian restaurant and asked for “sprouts”, assuming the Brussel variety, you’d be a bit put off to receive a plateful of these. 😐

  7. I am starting to think you like your wierd neighbors, because you have not mentioned moving yet.

  8. broiled brussel sprouts? I think I’m in love…

    But it’s mostly because they know how to roll a good fattie.

    plus — GIRL on GIRL action? I am ready to rock and ROLL!

    :wang:

  9. This post should have begun with a warning: Do not read if eating.

    Hmmm… that bagel went down a bit… ick.

  10. Dave, all you need is to do is wear a little patchouli to fix that right up. 🙂

    Oh, and you might want to start smoking to decrease the sense of smell, specifically Clove cigarettes.

    And if you ever get the chance, place a dead rat in their heating vents.

  11. There you are envisioning a girl on girl love fest and in actuality it was merely the preparation of a flatulence inducing vegetable.

    My roommate just brushed against me. Does she want me or should I just make her some broccoli?

  12. The two odors together confected such a fatal fetor that rust was forming on the stovetop and fixtures.
    Sorry, that was totally accidental. Sure, the first is premature, but after that, I’m ready for the whole night and into the following afternoon.

Comments are closed.