Take only what’s necessary

Emergency Items

In the event of a hurricane, take only what’s necessary: Toilet Paper, Bud Light, Keystone Ice, Budweiser, Red Dog, and a piece of plywood to float the ole lady on.

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Join the conversation

comment 38 comments
  • Spud

    At least he has his priorities right. 😈

    and on another plane, could your brother be known as Patzilla?

    It’s an interesting exercise to name your family this way…

    :geek:

  • PeggyArcher

    Well, Keystone is the key (no pun intended) to surviving natural disasters.

  • Sir Osiss

    Beer, butt paper and a broad… Sure he isn’t Hattrick? :wtf:

  • Vicus Scurra

    Yes, but why is he taking the woman and not the TV?

  • tinamarie

    They are going to paaaaaartaaaaay! Get blasted, wipe they asses, and float on!

    All they missin’ is a 40 ounce or two and some bud. (Not to be confused with the Bud they already have.)

  • Esther

    Don’t forget the smack!:???:

  • Spud

    Shhhhmack!

  • Lung the Younger

    Is it my imagination or is there something slightly biblical looking about the scene? The skinny dude does have a little of the Messiah about him. Maybe heÒ€ℒs just changed the water to Bud? And leading his skinny chick around on a piece of plywood for there was no room at the inn.

  • larfus

    No its more like she is bitching about not having any smokes and he is saying “Talk to the hand”.:roll:

  • Mandy

    I’m sure he’ll smack her later when she “starts talking’ shit”, Esther. :wtf:

    Lung honey? It’s your imagination. There’s nothing Holy about PWT. :kiss:

  • b-dizzy

    Hmmm…. beer does provide the essential carbohydrates that one could live off of for several days while waiting for rescuse. It will make ya a lil dehydrated though.

    It doesn’t look like they would be too worried with drinking the water though.

  • Spud

    I also, was wondering where the cigarettes were…

    photoshop opportunity!

    😎

  • rust

    What the hell is SHE doing on the plywood sittin’ pretty when it should be her in the water and him on the board, preferably with a cool one cracked open.
    πŸ‘Ώ

  • Santana

    Nice Mullet!

  • MIKE

    Could that possibly be a squeeze bottle of Plotchmans Mustard? Maybe they were thinking ahead.

  • Mandy

    The mustard was all that was in the fridge besides the beer. That or it was for “later on that evening. :wtf:

  • MIKE

    Mandy you sound pretty kinky, and I like it

  • Kenn

    I’m pretty sure he’s just taking out the trash.

  • Craig

    Carrots, mustard, beer, & toilet paper. All that AND my bitch is pulling me, LIFE’S GOOD!!!!!!!!:grin:

  • Cherish

    yeah, this exact thing was circulated around in Emails as the Redneck Survival kit.

    funny, but not original.

  • Mikel

    Beer: $25
    Toilet Paper: $3.50
    Plywood: Free found floting
    Crack Whore: $20
    Pulling Booze and Whore though Shit Flood Water: Priceless

  • Sir Osiss

    Dave,

    Man, here is the link
    that could have gone with this post! Yeah, it’s a golden oldie, but thoroughly appropriate!

  • Merth

    I just got this in my email this morning… Size degrees of Davezilla. Scary.

    πŸ˜›

  • Paige

    Now, just where were you going to use that shit paper at????I dont think they had any toilets under that water.And, after drinking all that Bud, you would have to find some place to shit.:-?

  • Patrick

    And all this time, I thought they were trying to salvage their returnables!

    πŸ™„

  • greenfireyes

    The water is so dark – I wonder if he’s wearing his LED slippers? 😎

  • Lace Valentine

    My plywood plank would have Guinness, Foster’s, salted spanish peanusts, Robert E Howard books, recent pinups of Rose McGowan, beef jerky, Camel cigarettes and the much needed toilet paper…

    😈

  • Nikki

    Kenn made me giggle.

  • hippychick

    Didn’t ya’ll happen to notice the 2 bottles of rum behind her? Hmm…fiber, carbs, mustard, alcohol. There wasn’t enough shit in the water already? Only in the south…:sad:

  • Sylvia

    Oh yes Nikki dear, I love Ken’s remark as well. Are we the only one’s who caught the subtlety? In London we’d say he was putting out the “baggage” …. mind you, he’s no pinup himself……….wonder what he’d throw in the dumpster first……….what he’s pulling or himself? Well, that could be synonymous couldn’t it?……. where’s his right hand?

  • Mandy

    No more kinky than the average bad grrrl, MIKE. :thong:

  • Lizzie

    lmao good ones Mikel and Ken:lol:

  • Baby betty

    SCREW MY SHOES, SAVE THE BEER

  • frisko

    lest we forget the lone diet 7-up

  • Ms. Z

    πŸ˜€ Mustard Jar is to make a power hitter for the pot dude.

  • Stephanie

    They knew tons of people would be looking for an escape from all the tragedy so they decided to take advantage of the opportunity and start a make-shift travelling bar. 5 bucks a pop!

  • Soldier Bob

    Looks like JimBo is taking full advantage of finding the first pool he can pee in

  • HiMY SYeD

    As the bumper sticker sez,
    ‘you don’t buy beer,
    you rent it.’

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