Phrases I could go the rest of my life without hearing again

  1. “Ohio is this year’s Florida.” [Ohio has beaches and sharks? Cool, that’s only an hour’s drive for me.]
  2. “They’re playing this game like they’re running for county sheriff.” [Actually, they’re playing it like they’re running for President]
  3. “It’s a dead-heat. Just too close to call.” [What was your first clue?]
  4. “Sure the popular vote is important, but let’s not forget that all-important electoral college.” [Yes, you reminded us before the last commercial break.]
  5. “Who’s going to win? It’s anyone’s guess.” [My guess is the winner will win. I feel pretty confident with that prediction]
  6. “Let’s not call this one just yet. We don’t want to fall into the trap we did four years ago.” [So shut up , already]
  7. “We just don’t want to blow the whistle before the play is over.“ [This is an election, not a football game. Go back to local sports coverage.]
  8. “Our exit polls show…” [Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! ]
  9. “How do we think Nader will impact New Hampshire?” [How do we think bumblebees affect computer sales?]
  10. “Kerry needs to hold this state closely.” [This is an election; not a poker game, idiot.]
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Show 35 Comments


  1. Esther

    I gave up watching, and had a nice cup of cocoa, instead.:java:

  2. it’s going to be hard to not gripe for the rest of the week.

  3. Cristian

    Hey at least you guys are from the US and it somehow concerns you but why must I see this whole bulls&#@t non stop on TV (I’m from Europe) -look Bush is going to remain president no Kery is no Bush is. F*&ck let them vote and we’ll just see :mad::!::-?

  4. Anna

    One point for Christian!!!!!
    We’ve been seeing this stuff on our TV’s for the last three weeks (daily) as if it means something, as if the outcome will change the world, as if it matters if dumb or dumber runs your country. Please let this be the last piece on the elections (i’d be ever so grateful).

  5. ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    I second that Anna and vote for no more American election updates on British T.V!

    Theres only so much hype and deception a guy can take and I was kind of under the impression that Mr. Blair was our current preferred supplier for bullshit.



  6. ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    The American election has brought back strong feelings of deja moo though……..

    The feeling I’ve heard all this bullshit before.


  7. This is what I NEVER want to hear again:

    ‘Since you are 7 hours ahead of us, tell me who won the election’.

    Nothing like having a family full of time ‘tards in the states

  8. ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    “Election Americano” a play by Rev.


    Kerry =:roll: “erm um…I dont know..erm”

    Bush = 😈 “Lets kill things!”

    Blair = :geek: “Make love to me Bush I so want to feel part of America inside me”

    Bin Laden =:dead: “Lets kill things!”

  9. I’d like to not hear any more automated celebrities calling my house telling me to vote. So far I’ve gotten calls from Kirsten Dunst (wtf?!), Bill Clinton, and Alfre Woodard.

  10. I still don’t get it. There’s an election on? Who’s running? Is someone going to win it?

    I wish I had a TV set…

  11. ReV.JeLLyBaBy


    Bush has won the election!!!!! Despite the fact ALL the votes are yet to be counted!!

    Oh why won’t Mr.Kerry concede defeat? (see above)

    Just a general enquiry from a Brit about Mr. Bush….Is he on medication or does he always act like that?

  12. Rev, do you mean his eternal blank stare?

  13. Young eligible gay man available for a good looking American man looking to move to Canada to get away from the USA.

    Come to Canada and enjoy our gay marriages and bush free environment. (hmmm that works on so many levels)


    Anyway, looks like we will have to wait and see what happens.

  14. ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    Yes Nikki,

    That stare is quite something…

    It must of taken years of practice to look that vacant even for a man thats quite clearly, not the sharpest tool in the box.

    Back home we call it “The lights are on, but nobodys home” technique.


  15. Esther

    Pancakes, anyone? 🙂

  16. Stacy,
    MY mantra today is ” I will not wax a politico today.”

  17. I think all the exit polls showed is that exit polls are all wrong…

  18. simoon

    What I could go without hearing anymore:

    “Four more years.”


  19. Well, I guess all the cool Americans will be moving to Canada soon.

  20. He has beady lifeless eyes. Like a snake or a great white shark.

    And Natalie, how big is your place? :kiss:

  21. i’ve already gotten requests for crash space, natalie. ❗

  22. 😐 Actually, some of us cool Americans need to stay here and fight against the evil. :dead:

  23. Mandy

    Looks like you lost, Stacy. They voted for the boob and not the :boobs:.

  24. Let’s all join hands and watch our civil liberties erode!

  25. Icairus

    I love how the loser concedes, rather than waiting for the votes to be counted. Nobody’s vote counts! What actually affects the election are the exit polls!

  26. Hey, Anna…
    Who did you vote for in the election for Queen this year?
    Oh, you don’t get to vote for Monarchs? Gotcha.

  27. ReV.JeLLyBaBy


    You make me sad.

    I thought most people (well those with a clue) actually realised that the Queen has no political duties whatsoever.
    In fact we basically keep her around to bring in tourists now.

    We do however vote for a Prime Minister.

    Just so you know for future sarcasm.


  28. Anna

    Hey Paul ….. don’t you touch my queen!! I pay f*cking taxes so she can be our businesscard to the rest of the world 😈 (which we really need, cuz no one knows us – coffeeshops, free drugs for junks, gay marriage, no death penalty, limited access to guns etc etc).
    Luckily we have like 30 (okay, I exagerate, it’s 15) political parties to choose from at election time.

    Jeez I just read that again and I realize I don’t mind living here (even if it’s with some queen).

  29. Moose

    Shame about Theo. Think NL will start tightening the reins on the Islamic fundies anytime?

  30. Spud

    “We” should kill everybody who doesn’t agree with “us”

Comments are closed