Overheard: Sushi edition

Man #1: How come every fat guy in America has a goatee?
Man #2: Bush made that a law. You didn’t hear?

Customer: Is this sushi all fish or what?
Waitress: No. Some is fish, Some is vegetable. Some is raw. Not all. Some is barbecue.
Customer: How about chicken?
Waitress: No. Chicken is not sushi. Chicken is … a chicken bird.

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30 Comments

  1. A chicken bird? As opposed to a chicken fish? Chicken sapien?

  2. Esther

    :wtf:

    That’s definitely not Chicken Little!

  3. Spud

    Ha! chicken sapiens, a new species :wtf:

  4. Margaret

    The chicken could be Chicken of the Sea, with buffalo wings!:cool:

  5. ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    Well, Well, Well (that’s what I said when I came across three wells) what can I say about today’s post?

    DO ALL FAT AMERICANS HAVE GOATEES?

    Yes.

    Why?

    “Because it gives the wobbling wearer the pseudo appearance of 1 chin, rather than 5 individual wrapped ones.
    Hey you may still use bookmarks to find your jewelry, but at least you have a distinguishable chin right? Break a leg guys…no don’t actually….gravy might come out and special sauce.”

    WHY DON’T SUSHI BARS SERVE CHICKEN?

    “This has baffled scientists since the very first samurai warrior decided to commit “hari kari” as us gaijin call it, but believe it or not the ancient Shogan of Japan passed a law during the Chou dynasty (1050-256BC) that all his subjects must never serve chicken with sushi and that all fat men would have to grow goatees. More strangely however, is that you never see any cats (that love fish!!) outside sushi bars, but then you never see any camels at the cinema either, so its swings and roundabouts really….no wait, that’s a children’s playground. Either way I suspect fowl play.”

    A SPECIAL POST FOR MY CRITIC(S):

    Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy wrote “War and Peace” the longest book ever written.

    Does that mean that he also had shortcomings despite his “perceived” massive brain and education?

    That’s all I wanted to ask and please feel free to read the book before you comment.

    That should leave you enough time for your single serving frozen meal, followed by a hand shandy dessert with Madame Palm and her five sisters and a chance to consider whether leaping from bandwagons is really your thing.

    Why not try playing leapfrog with a unicorn instead?

    👿

  6. Margaret

    I don’t know about the fat-guy-gotee thing, but it’s been proven that they DO use more soap!:razz:

  7. All fat guys (me included) have experimented with facial hair in order to hide the multiple chin thing. The most depressing are the fat guys who still have “teenBeard”, and end up looking like a moldy volleyball. It’s sad, really.

  8. Elektra

    Embrace your chins fat guys! …ok I got nothing.
    :dead:

  9. ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    ..but seriously (for once)

    Kevin,

    I would just like to say that your website “Ultra Normal” is excellent.

    After I read your piece on “terror” I would like to say that for me it totally encapsulated and clarified the very root or what we are all striving to overcome in these troubled times.

    Dave your site rocks too btw. 😆

  10. ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    *of (not or!)

  11. Waaaait a minute, I thought tuna was the “chicken of the sea“.

    If that’s the case, then sushi bars do have chicken sushi.

    Right? 😕

  12. I think someone I used to date was a chicken sapien . . .:-?

  13. ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    Im starting a rival brand.

    “Tuna of the Mud”

    🙄

  14. Did I stumble across a new species?

    Unfortunately I can’t take credit for the discovery, just the naming.

    Here’s the original chicken sapien.

  15. ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    Kismet,

    What about people with bingo wings* ?

    * Large flabby winglike flaps of skin that protrude fron the underside of the arm. Usually found on ladies that play bingo.

  16. I think we can classify that as a character feature of the chicken sapien in its later stage of life.

  17. Margaret

    ~'”teenBeard” and end up looking like a moldy volleyball’~~did someone say Michael Moore and John Candy (post Uncle Buck)??

    EEEEWWWWWW!!!!!

  18. Sean Peters

    Chicken sapiens…

    HE’S EVERYWHERE! HE’S EVERYWHERE!

    😮

    Sean

  19. Esther

    Alrighty, then, time for lunch! 😎

  20. Isn’t “fat guy” a relative term?

    :boobs::boobs:

  21. Bandwagon Leaper

    Of all the unmitigated gall!! That the “rev” would actually compare its pompous ramblings to the works of a true Master like Tolstoy just goes to prove my point. & yes i did read that lengthy book.

  22. CHICKEN SAPIENS!!

    Does anybody remember the Chicken Lady from the Canadian sketch comedy show “Kids In The Hall”?

    Oh man, I about lay an egg every time I watch those skits!

    *nudges Natalie*

    BTW, Rev … I would totally work for a band called “Tuna of the Mud.” Just so ya know. :kiss:

  23. Spud

    How about the Muddy Tunes?

  24. yes i thought about the chicken lady immediately but i could not find a picture of her…i didn’t try too hard though…

  25. Yeah, I was originally looking for a picture of Mark McKinney as the Chicken Lady but I couldn’t find a good one. But then I stumbled across that gem…

Comments are closed