The next time I spill pasta sauce on an expensive pair of white jeans, be sure to remove the wallet before soaking them overnight in hot water.

31 thoughts on “Notes to Self: No. 6,229

  1. A bigger question is why somebody who wears head-to-toe white would even risk attempting pasta with anything but alfredo sauce… it’s kinda like deliberately throwing buttered toast at the floor to defy Murphy. I bet drinking coffee in a moving vehicle is already ruled out.

    What you should really do is draw polka-dots on your white outfit, then buy that polka-dot car from Saturday’s post. “Here comes Captain Wonderbread and his Loafmobile!” πŸ’‘

  2. [Comment ID #80673 will be quoted here]

    Oh Gawd, please no. I am literally counting the days till I can wear colors again. May 13th is the day. :dead:

  3. The wallet would seem to be an issue.

    Towel dry all the contents, then the wallet. Allow to air dry. If the wallet is leather, treat with a nice leather preserving product — Wolverine makes a lovely Oil Tanned Leather Conditioner cream, I picked up at TSC a couple years ago for $3.19.

    Assure all the plastic pockets get a chance to air completely before refilling.

    Pictures, now, will likely need replaced, but be sure to wait until they dry, just to be sure. You might need to press some items with paper towels and plastic-protected books, careful for the stuff that might bond to the paper towels.

    Credit cards may or may not survive, depending on how hot the water was. Use each to check balance as soon as possible, to find out which survived and which need reprogrammed/replaced due to visible or concealed deformation. Remember that computer interfaces read the cards, usually not people.

    Whatever happens, remember that no one seeing you walk down the hall or street will be able to sense that your wallet got poached. Really.

    If the stain didn’t come out, set the jeans back until Color Day, and use them in a denim-blue tie-dye crafty type celebration.

  4. Since you are wearing all white… do your accessories have to be all white as well? Meaning, is your wallet white? Or can you continue to carry a brown/black wallet?

  5. The wallet is screwed, my question? Did the hot water shrink the jeans, and set the stain nicely?[Comment ID #80688 will be quoted here] Ok, the street dancer is in DESPERATE need of some duct tape for that crack problem he has, possibly some plumbers caulk?

  6. Ever hear of a Tide stain stick? Take them to a dry cleaner. The wallet is a loss next time when playing with sauce do not wear white.

  7. Dave,

    After a year of keeping an All White Wardrobe, I think you should get into the Laundry business. By the time you are finished, You will be the Renegade Master of Crisp Whites .

    It’s all going to be moot once “Salt Season” begins. I can see the Wave pattern on your Hems now….

  8. [Comment ID #80687 will be quoted here]
    No, wallet can be black since it is not clothing. As my elder told me, “You think Africans had wallets 5,000 years ago?”
    [Comment ID #80695 will be quoted here]
    I practically have stock in them. I prefer the Clorox bleach pens, myself but I have them everywhere.
    [Comment ID #80701 will be quoted here]
    [Comment ID #80702 will be quoted here]
    Yeah, I remember my first beer, too.
    [Comment ID #80703 will be quoted here]
    Yes, they are an excellent tool. BTW, your mother says hi.

  9. So Dave. Um. What will you wear after May 13?

    Will there be a celebration at the ordination?

    What is an appropriate gift to send?

    And finally – what did you wear for Halloween? No, let me guess….

  10. “Yes, they are an excellent tool. BTW, your mother says hi.”

    White jeans! They probably look great with your turtle neck sweaters, eh?

    By the way, Natalie is a little tired right now, but she says hi.

  11. Dave will be the Stainmaster Ninja who will never again wear anything white…thereby allowing all of his skills to fall away. *sigh*

    Don’t throw away your talent, Dave. πŸ˜†

  12. [Comment ID #80747 will be quoted here]

    Uh, that was sort of done for me by the other priests. Yes, I was bald. Like David Carradine in Kung Fu. :wtf:

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