Complete this Sentence:

“No doctor. It only hurts when I ___________.”

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  1. MJaz

    …hit it with a ball peen hammer.

  2. smear it with peanut butter and let my rottweiler lick it off… 💡

  3. Spud

    “No doctor. It only hurts when I sit down”

  4. “No doctor. It only hurts when I let Mr. Blobby swallow.”

  5. mikeB

    “No doctor. It only hurts when I pay my insurance deductible.”

  6. Kangaroo

    When I get your bill…………

  7. No, doctor, it only hurts when I lay on my stomach and dream of being intimate with Hilary Clinton while Bill and Monica watch and touch us. And my wife isn’t asleep. Then I wake up startled, and have these nasty bruises all over my ribs on the left side, except that one time I had scratches on the left side of my left leg, and then there was the time I had a bruise on the back of my head and my shoulder was numb, then black and blue.

    Yes, doctor. My wife and I are both conservative independent voters. Why do you ask?

  8. Bigwavdave

    …say “Actually dear, I’ve never cared for that outfit on you…”

  9. Bigwavdave

    “…use fresh batteries and put it on high.”

    “get too close to a certain ferret.”

    “when you don’t use the K-Y Gel…OUCH!!!

  10. sledge

    say “that dress doesn’t make you LOOK fat ,you ARE fat “

  11. Bjorn Freeh

    [Comment ID #80625 will be quoted here]

    “No doctor. It only hurts when I read LtY’s response. My sides ache.”


  12. Bless you Bjorn. Why if I keep getting flattering references like that, they might start letting me use sharp objects in here.

  13. pablo

    …talk to women.
    Hey, when they said they were going to make a short film about my life they didn’t say I would be protrayed by a stick figure. Did it make me look fat?

  14. scamper

    let her play with it :wang:

  15. Flash Gordon

    attempt to stick my Johnson in my ear. :wtf: :kiss: 😳 :wang: 🙄

  16. H. R. Gerrard

    …Wake up. And it doesn’t stop until I go to sleep. And the only cure for it is terminal. I think I have Dangerfields’ Syndrome! I tried committing suicide. Yesterday I threw myself in front of a bus. But the driver wouldn’t run over me because I didn’t have the ‘Exact Change!’ I called the Suicide Hotline. They asked me “What’s taking so long?” And I just found out that Dr. Kervorkian is no longer taking requests! I Tell you, I don’t get no respect at all! ❓

  17. cbatdux

    vote republican or listen to rush limbaugh.

  18. “No doctor. It only hurts when I crack my neck like this. CRAAAACCKK! Oh crap.” :dead:

  19. KanDo

    “No doctor. It only hurts when I have non-stop sex for 8 hours and forget the lube!”

  20. Driver

    No Doctor . It only hurts when I sprout a snout and a tail and howl at the moon , fortunatly that only happens a few nights a month , but on the up side theres no mood swings .

    [Comment ID #80628 will be quoted here]

    Nikki , please explain [ Mr. Blobby ] ?

  21. “No doctor. It only hurts when I bite.” 🙄

  22. Super anonymous strikes again

    “No doctor. It only hurts when I fart.”


    when i am inside of you :wang:

  24. donna

    No doc it only hurts if I , sit and spin and don’t have a smooth surface. 🙄

  25. Bonana

    ooh baby Trans Am Man….why does it hurt so bad? 😈

  26. nanner

    :puke:when I puke and it comes out my nose :lol:its happened to the best of us!!

  27. trans am man

    Because i am so large and u are tight :wang:

  28. when I have to use my whole hand to grab your head out of your ass. Mind if I ask how’s the view? :wtf:

Comments are closed