Let the punishment fit the crime

1. Lace Valentine

   12 March, 2005, 12:29 am

   Wil Wheaton — Hired on as a cute baby face with a Californian, surfer air only to draw girls that wouldn’t normally watch Star Trek, Wil Wheaton deserves to be punished by playing the part of Hamlet for the remainder of his life, a Shakespearean role no one could ever suspend enough disbelief to enjoy his cheeky, “Aw shucks,” school-boy performances as he contemplates suicide or to avenge his father. “To be, dude, or like not to be? That’s the prob.” In later years he will be known more for his blog than for his acting ability, and I say “Amen brother” to that.

2. Fran

   12 March, 2005, 12:47 am

   Martha Stewart- domestic doyenne and uber home product pusher, for insider trading information and being a perfectionist should go to a country prison for a few short months…

   Oh wait a minute! This really happened.

   Nevermind. 🙄

3. Esther

   12 March, 2005, 3:04 am

   Damn, that is high-larious! Good stuff, Dave.:smile:

   Oh, and that link? Oh. My. God.:wtf:

4. Spud

   12 March, 2005, 3:47 am

   George Bush Jr – for bullshit in general.

   To live with an Iraqi family for 12 months.
   a. No money of any kind
   b. No credit cards of any kind
   c. No contact with the outside world

   He cannot be killed but must be kept active to enjoy the families generosity to the fullest

   They would film it, sort of like when Paris & Nicki went down on the farm.

   LAuGh a minute!

   😕

5. Tom

   12 March, 2005, 1:49 pm

   lol, the Michael Jackson one is good considering it’s the time of his trial. You should make some money from things like this 🙂

6. Kirk

   12 March, 2005, 3:26 pm

   Good work Dave & Nikki! The only concern I have regards your link…they have a return shipping policy….ewwww!

7. TinaMarie

   12 March, 2005, 3:38 pm

   Spud, when you said that Paris and Nicki WENT DOWN on the farm, did you mean :wang: 😎 or did you mean “went down” as in flames?

   Sorry, but my dirty mind just couldn’t let that one pass. 😀

8. TinaMarie

   12 March, 2005, 3:40 pm

   Oh yeah, and whoever is making all these shitty reality shows should be sentenced to existance in obscurity in some snobby ass retirement community where watching “trash TV” is admitting to watching Law & Order instead of whatever is on PBS, the History Channel, or Discovery.

9. clackagonia

   12 March, 2005, 7:04 pm

   these comments,theres a trend of writing ones own comments,its a stage bloggers go through,
   on their way from pathetic to the ditto stage

10. Anonymous

    12 March, 2005, 7:29 pm

    I believe both inflections work quite aptly Tina
    😀

11. larfus

    13 March, 2005, 7:02 am

    they chose semenstain.com I bet because http://www.sementest.com/ was already taken :wtf:

12. Natalie

    13 March, 2005, 11:17 pm

    The Baldwin brothers (all 3? 4? of them) will die mundane deaths, but in the afterlife, they will find themselves together in a windowless, doorless, MIRRORLESS room. They will be stuck there for eternity, with only each other for company.

    Kind of like Huis Clos (No Exit), but with Baldwins.

    Ick.

13. Davezilla

    14 March, 2005, 6:41 am

    Yeah, I remember the first time I got high too, clackagonia. 🙄

14. Anna

    14 March, 2005, 7:29 am

    “The days of good English has went” was what I was going to say to clackagonia “either on your side or on my side, because I didn’t get that one”.
    But, your one was better Dave.

15. SoSaddity

    15 March, 2005, 12:22 am

    I agree with the Seacrest one the most. I would really like to know who told him his signature was cool. They must be punished too.

16. Wildcat

    15 March, 2005, 10:42 pm

    Aw, c’mon, Dave. Mel’s a good guy. Imagine all the courage it must’ve taken to go against mainstream Hollywood and make the movie none of them wanted. And look how graciously he handled the Oscars snub. I think Mel’s a real man! 😛

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