How to win an argument with a cat

  1. Begin with a standard ontological argument, such as Gödel’s Theorum.
  2. Open with Definition 1: x is God-like iff x has as essential properties those and only those properties which are positive
  3. Your cat will likely counter that no definition of the notion of “positive property” is supplied with the proof. At most, the various axioms which involve this concept can be taken to provide a partial implicit definition.
  4. Ignore this interruption and continue with Definitions 2 and 3.
  5. Your cat will yawn to discourage you and remind you that if a property belongs to the set, then its negation does not belong to the set.
  6. Now is your opportunity to win. Quickly throw a Q-Tip into a grocery bag and run away.
free viagra
buy viagra online
generic viagra
how does viagra work
cheap viagra
buy viagra
buy viagra online inurl
viagra 6 free samples
viagra online
viagra for women
viagra side effects
female viagra
natural viagra
online viagra
cheapest viagra prices
herbal viagra
alternative to viagra
buy generic viagra
purchase viagra online
free viagra without prescription
viagra attorneys
free viagra samples before buying
buy generic viagra cheap
viagra uk
generic viagra online
try viagra for free
generic viagra from india
fda approves viagra
free viagra sample
what is better viagra or levitra
discount generic viagra online
viagra cialis levitra
viagra dosage
viagra cheap
viagra on line
best price for viagra
free sample pack of viagra
viagra generic
viagra without prescription
discount viagra
gay viagra
mail order viagra
viagra inurl
generic viagra online paypal
generic viagra overnight
generic viagra online pharmacy
generic viagra uk
buy cheap viagra online uk
suppliers of viagra
how long does viagra last
viagra sex
generic viagra soft tabs
generic viagra 100mg
buy viagra onli
generic viagra online without prescription
viagra energy drink
cheapest uk supplier viagra
viagra cialis
generic viagra safe
viagra professional
viagra sales
viagra free trial pack
viagra lawyers
over the counter viagra
best price for generic viagra
viagra jokes
buying viagra
viagra samples
viagra sample
generic cialis
cheapest cialis
buy cialis online
buying generic cialis
cialis for order
what are the side effects of cialis
buy generic cialis
what is the generic name for cialis
cheap cialis
cialis online
buy cialis
cialis side effects
how long does cialis last
cialis forum
cialis lawyer ohio
cialis attorneys
cialis attorney columbus
cialis injury lawyer ohio
cialis injury attorney ohio
cialis injury lawyer columbus
prices cialis
cialis lawyers
viagra cialis levitra
cialis lawyer columbus
online generic cialis
daily cialis
cialis injury attorney columbus
cialis attorney ohio
cialis cost
cialis professional
cialis super active
how does cialis work
what does cialis look like
cialis drug
viagra cialis
cialis to buy new zealand
cialis without prescription
free cialis
cialis soft tabs
discount cialis
cialis generic
generic cialis from india
cheap cialis sale online
cialis daily
cialis reviews
cialis generico
how can i take cialis
cheap cialis si
cialis vs viagra
generic levitra
levitra attorneys
what is better viagra or levitra
viagra cialis levitra
levitra side effects
buy levitra
levitra online
levitra dangers
how does levitra work
levitra lawyers
what is the difference between levitra and viagra
levitra versus viagra
which works better viagra or levitra
buy levitra and overnight shipping
levitra vs viagra
canidan pharmacies levitra
how long does levitra last
viagra cialis levitra
levitra acheter
comprare levitra
levitra ohne rezept
levitra 20mg
levitra senza ricetta
cheapest generic levitra
levitra compra
cheap levitra
levitra overnight
levitra generika
levitra kaufen


  1. smizzy

    How about I just put the *cat* into the grocery bag, along with the Q-Tip? That’s an automatic win, right there.

  2. Margaret

    At what point is is safe to bring the Quadratic Equation and Pythagorean Theorem into the ‘discussion’?

  3. jen

    My cat gets me in trouble. she picks the qtips out of the trash. I get yelled at for letting her have them and her leaving them all over by “the man”. He’s always keeping us down.

  4. ReV.JeLLyBaBY


    In derivation Einstein used result of relativistic variation of light energy

    l* = l [1-cosf ] / (2)

    where l is light energy of plane wave of light in co-ordinate system (x,y,z)., which is at rest. The ray direction i.e. wave normal makes angle f with the x-axis of the system (x,y,z). This light energy as measured in system (X,Y,Z), which is in uniform translation w.r.t. (x,y,z) along x-axis with velocity v is l*. But while deriving final result i.e. L =D mc2 Einstein interpreted the equation under classical conditions (v<

  5. ReV.JeLLyBaBY



  6. Smizzy – have you ever tried to put the cat in the bag? Its just not gonna happen. The need persuading.

  7. Simon O. Rebsdorf

    Putting the cat into the bag sounds easy, especially after persuading arguments. But what about looking at the problem from the cat’s point of view? A bag is not a bad place to be for a cat, it even containts *properties*, which are regarded to be positive by most cats: most grocery bags make nice sounds when you (or the cat) touch them, they are considered fun to jump into, and they function as potential hiding places during livingroom hunts.
    I think that the bootstrap theory is relevant in this connection. If it is indeed valid, which still needs to be proved by the best theoreticians of physics and mathematics, then perhaps the human running away part will just be complementing the cat’s oppertunities of winning the argument, as the cat will hover above you after a certain amount of time, which will perhaps be no more than the time of light to travel from the floor to the attic, which is a relatively small amount of time.
    If the owner of the cat is named Schrödinger, then this whole discussion of course needs to be revised, and we will have a new topic branch, since Erwin Schrödinger’s cat was subdued horrific thought experiments, which, I believe, must have had a negative effect on the cat’s desire to discuss any matters whatsoever!

  8. Anna

    You know, I’ve got this handy 2by4. I never have any problems with any of my cats.

    I’ve got splinters in my hands though. 🙄

  9. wantwit

    this hurts my head. maybe because i’m in lab from midnight to 9 am then back in for 3 hours this afternoon.

  10. mikeB

    Piece of duct tape on the back works wonders 😈

  11. Mandy

    Brain hurts. Need :java:

  12. Spud

    Brain hurts, need Mandy 😀

  13. wantwit

    This degeneration of the thread makes me nauseous in addition to my sleepiness.

  14. Anonymous

    In a former life chapter, I maintained a residence for a cat named Brody, and A cat named Casey. They both loved me very much for the grand things I did during my servitude of them. Since that chapter is closed, I have switched to birds, leaving the cats for my neighbors to live with. They just find it amusing to sit on my roof, and mess with skunks that live in the area.

  15. Anonymous

    The cats sit on my roof to piss off the skunks, not my neighbors. Setting the record straight.


  16. Anonymous

    wantwit may have morning sickness, which BTW is not always caused by pregnancy.


    The EASIEST, but the absolute EASIEST way to win the argument is simple.

    Stare the cat in the eyes for 10 seconds. Stand up slowly while staring — move towards the kitchen area, keeping eye contact. Reach into the kitchen area and touch the electric can opener.

    VOILA! You have won.

  18. Esther

    The easiest way to win an arguement with a cat, is to not actually have a cat. Just reason with the air for a few minutes, then go have a nice satisfying cup of caffeine.:lol:

  19. Kitties are so cute when they discuss philosophy!

  20. Spud

    Cats always win, they don’t have masters, they have orderlies. 😕

  21. Icairus

    I can’t argue with my cat, because It is currently Shroedinger’s Cat

  22. you mean, you aren’t sure it’s Shrödinger’s cat? that is, you think that his cat isn’t your? uhh, what’s the question?

  23. heisenberg says, that if you think that your cat belongs to Shrödinger then you must not be existing in an alternate universe. Of course, Planck is still messing with his marbles.

  24. facette

    Just remind that cat how tender it will get if cooked using the same delicious recipe mom used .

    Top of the food-chain, baby !:mrgreen:

  25. Steppenwolf

    A spray bottle filled with water will result in victory every time. No harm but cat will always lose. Miss my cat! :^(

  26. Too Good
    For anyone not familiar, is an excellent site to check out during one’s daily browsing (or via RSS if you are cool like that). The latest gem was how to win an argument with your cat – a nice piece of geek-humor.

  27. Futile
    For anyone not familiar, is an excellent site to check out during one’s daily browsing (or via RSS if you are cool like that). The latest gem was how to win an argument with your cat – a nice piece of geek-humor.

Comments are closed