How to speak in Programmer

When they say: “The SMTP mail server may be acting erratically today.” They really mean: “Turn me down for a date, will you? See if you get email anymore.” When they say: “Is that really a good user experience?” They really mean: “You’re cutting into my World of Warcraft time.” When they say: “You haven’t […]

The Wisdom of Coworkers

Coworker: “Dave, can you look at this Laser printer? It’s broken and I can’t find IT anywhere.” Me: “Yeah, what’s it doing?” Coworker: “Well, {other coworker} sent a color file to this printer but this is a black and white printer.” Me: “So?” Coworker: “Well, you just can’t do that!” Me: “Yes, you can, and […]

1st Level Web Master Spells

Protection against Comic Sans: Protects beginning Web Designers from succumbing to the fetid odor of this most noxious font. Dispel MIDI: Makes the spell caster immune to the dissonant shrieks of embedded MIDI soundtracks on personal homepages. Detect Rainbow: Spell destroys rainbow divider bars. Temporarily dispels rainbow-colored text. Mage Page: Magic spell to dispel popup […]