How to annoy the drive through clerk

  1. “I’ll have a small Coke, no onions.”
  2. “What wine goes with that?”
  3. “I don’t know what I want. You pick.”
  4. “I’m not wearing underwear.”
  5. Do you have kids’ meals?” [wait for response] “No, I meant for goats.”
  6. “Do you come here often?”
  7. “Will you walk my dog for me?”
  8. “Can you hear me now?”
  9. “May I talk to you about the Lord Jesus Christ?”
  10. “Do your burgers come in a size 6?”
  11. “I’d like the sesame seeds on the buns arranged according to size in micrometers. I’ll wait.”
  12. “Who is that? I told you not to come over anymore! I’m calling the police!”
  13. “B-6? Damn, you sank my battleship!”
  14. “Did I come at a bad time? I’m just so รขโ‚ฌยฆ lonely and you seem like such a good listener.”
  15. “I’m pregnant again and you’re the father!”
  16. How do you amuse yourself at the drive-through?
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54 Comments

  1. Master Solace

    Only applies with a drive-thru clerk and a car full of people of the SAME SEX and hope that the clerk is not homosexual…

    Talk a little softer, and say, “Can you wait a second?”
    The drive thru clerk, of course, says, “Could you repeat that?”
    Reply with, “We all think you are sexy!!”
    THEN drive around and see the person squirm when they see that there is no one of the opposite sex in the car(sorry, did it to someone at McDonald’s where I live).

    If I offended any of the homosexual readers, I’m sorry, but if the drive-thru clerk is gay, then it wouldn’t be annoying, it would be pleasuring!!

  2. Master Solace

    I must redeem myself…

    Try going through a drive-thru on a bicycle making really loud car sputtering noises.

  3. JFLY

    1. Order a Big Mac at Burger King.
    2. Ask how large the 16 oz. soda is.
    3. Walk up to the drive-thru.
    4. Change your order every time they read it back to you.
    5. Ask them to read you the menu.
    6. Blast your radio and scream your order over the music
    7. Pick your nose right before you hand them the money.
    8. Order a lot of food, then drive away.
    9. Ask for delivery and insist that the last guy did it for you.
    10. Drop your soda as it’s handed to you. Do this several times.
    11. Pull up far from the window so the server has to lean waaaaaay out. This works best if it’s raining.
    12. Sing your order…opera style.
    13. Demand to see the “King”.
    14. Order a huge amount of food, wait 5 minutes, then cancel the order.

  4. Marcus

    1. Can I get a cheese burger without cheese?
    2. Ask questions about every item on the menu.
    3. Just sit there quietly. Play a sound effect, like a machine gun or a murder.
    4. Make a sex statement like from a porno movie and pull around with an empty car
    5.Talk like they do. Cup your hand over your mouth and speak through your nose.
    6. Keep repeating the word “Hello” like you can’t hear them.
    8. Request something not on the menu.

    Pussy scone… ๐Ÿ˜ฎ :wtf: :wtf: ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

  5. Spud

    #9 sounds like a good starter.

    I like to talk really fast, then whisper the reply from the inevitable question of what I asked for.

    I know it’s cruel as they are just young kids trying to make a dollar, but I can’t resist.

    and then?

    :geek:

  6. mitch

    1)Tell them after the order, ‘”I’m getting this to go”.
    2) Ask them if they know Jesus as their lord and savior, then order the onion rings.
    3) Fart

  7. bhamm

    These may not be that funny, but I’ve done them all…

    1) Drive in reverse. Have the passenger give the order and pay at the window.
    2) At Taco Bell, order the Nachos Bell Grande without meat, cheese, tomatoes or sour cream. You get chips with green onions on them.
    3) Talk in a funny accent to the box. When you pull up to the window, talk in your normal voice.
    4) Order a Whopper from McDonald’s. When they tell you they don’t have those, say “Well, give me something like it.” If they try to give you a Quarter Pounder, yell and say you want the “other one that’s like it.” The clerk will finally take the hint and give you a Big Mac. (Just reverse the sandwiches if they first offer you a Big Mac).
    5) Have a friend order in fluent Spanish. Translate for them. (This doubles the drive-through time for the cashiers)

    This list can be filed under “What I Did In College Instead of Studying”

  8. Becky

    scones= :puke:

  9. Ron

    Walk through the drive-thru. Get out of your car and jump on the air hose about 20 times. Pull up to the window with your dog in the car and have the dog holding the money in its mouth. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

  10. Dino

    I’d like that to go please

  11. slave julie

    Yannow, Solace, you just make me want you. :undies:

  12. 1) Order a liter of cola.
    2) Whisper repeatedly in your best female porn star voice about “the pickles”
    3) Ask them where the goddamn ketchup is.

  13. Duke

    When told the amount, I like to ask “Gooolllyyy, Do you rip off everybody like that?” The casheir has no idea what to say.

  14. Beaner

    Order your burger without onions, then ask for a side of onionrings instead of fries.

  15. Beaner

    i have to say, Bhamm, you make me laugh! ๐Ÿ˜›

  16. [Comment ID #24773 will be quoted here]

    Replace dog with butt, please.

  17. Peaches

    Ask for a burger the way you had it last time……..a cold burger on a dry hard bun, with soggy wilted lettuce, green tomato slice, a hint of pickle juice, 3/4 lb. of onion, 1 microliter of mayo and put the cheese half on the burger and melt the other half to the wrapper. If somehow they miss the sarcasm and ask you to repeat it, do so with a mouth full of dry crackers.

  18. Burnsy

    [Comment ID #24798 will be quoted here]

    At least you get all of your dry bun, last time I went to McDonalds my burger came without the bottom bun. Of course I didnt find until I was already back at my desk.
    ๐Ÿ˜ก

  19. bhamm

    Thank you, thank you.

    And now you have forced me to say something hilariously witty, and yet… I am drawing a blank.

  20. JFLY

    bhamm and peaches…ROFL ๐Ÿ˜€

  21. Meka

    I always wanted to go through the McD’s drive thru sitting in a fishing boat being pulled by a truck, in full fishing attire and order a Filet ‘O Fish.

    I just need a boat…

    In high school we told the cashier to charge our whole order to some guys who were flirting in the car ahead of us. She did, they payed, we got our order and when the guys pulled over to talk to us we drove off. ๐Ÿ˜›

  22. sub gypsy

    [Comment ID #24777 will be quoted here]

    I concur.

  23. Ziggy

    I always wanted to go through the McDรขโ‚ฌโ„ขs drive thru sitting in a fishing boat being pulled by a truck, in full fishing attire and order a Filet รขโ‚ฌหœO Fish.

    I just need a boatรขโ‚ฌยฆ

    LMAO Mekka–You can borrow my boat!
    ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜›

  24. Ron

    Go to McD’s and order a Happy Meal and tell them it better work and make you happy. When the cassier tells you to “Have a nice day”, tell him/her Don’t tell me what to do!

  25. Roach

    I like to speak with a horribly thick lishp and order food with alot of S’s in them…they keep asking me to repeat the order or they keep saying “What was that?”…depending on the person taking the order i will either talk with the clearest voice i can speak with or i throw on the lisp
    ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

  26. Jeffro

    1. speak only in pig latin
    2. you & 3 friends pull up to the window in ski masks
    3. puke in the donation tray under the drive up window
    4. hand them money soaked in cat urine
    5. re-arrange the letters on the menu to read something dirty (only works at older places)
    6. before you pull out of the drive thru, duct tape the little window closed. (it actually works…duct tape is amazing!)

  27. ben jammin'

    Ask for a Big Mac, hold the buns, beef patty, cheese, sauce, pickles and onions. They’ll just get some lettuce.

  28. ginnyten2six

    you guys are evil…..I knew there was something we had in common…. ๐Ÿ™„ :troll: ๐Ÿ™

  29. kate

    well okay here it is ride up on roller skates and then faking the car sounds with a friend yell your order wnd when they start to look at you funny at the window say “o well thats just great raul they haven’t ever seen a gay couple dating either!!!” as for all you gays no i am not against you i am one of you cuz i rock like yea yeaa!! :wtf: ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜›

  30. laceylegacey

    [Comment ID #24807 will be quoted here]

    Me as well

  31. laceylegacey

    That scone thing was disgusting by the way. :puke:

  32. (In my best telemarketer voice)

    “Hi, my name is Natasha and I’d like to talk to you for a few minutes about some of the products purchased in your household, are you the lady of the house?”

  33. kebatron

    1) Speak gibberish into the box, then drive off cursing at them and flipping off the camera

    2) go to McDonalds and order a healthy salad. when they give it to u, say “i meant one without sugar” (if u’ve watched supersize me u’d know they add sugar to their salads) :dead: :puke:

  34. cbatdux

    Actually, I work at McDonald’s. Thank you for ruining my life. Calling in sick tomorrow….. ๐Ÿ™

  35. Awww poor cbatdux!

    I’m so glad I never worked in fast food joints! ๐Ÿ˜€

  36. Spanky

    One of my favorites from high school…My best guy friend and I had a lot of fun with this (works best if there’s a guy and a girl in the car):

    The guy orders first, something small and semi-healthy. Then the girl orders something huge like 2 Big Macs and supersized fries, with a diet Coke. The guy then yells at the girl that she’s getting fat and shouldn’t eat all that. Continue arguing loudly at the speaker. If the girl can fake-cry, all the better. Keep in mind the order speaker is sometimes broadcast throughout the food prep area so all the staff can share the joy. Pull away, screeching tires… the drive-through person will be leaning out the window trying to see who that was.
    ๐Ÿ˜€

  37. I bet you could go one step further, Spanky. Don’t drive away. Pull up to the window and have the girly voice coming from the man and vice-versa.

  38. Gee, I used to manage at a Mcdonald’s, we never put sugar in our salads. However I did see a regional manager drop a fillet of fish on the floor pick it up and wrap it (this was on older store). In our area most of the people now working speak fluent Spanish with little English (glad I got out). I personally like going through the drive thru and requesting mint condoms (condiments available upon request) ๐Ÿ˜› yum

  39. nicholas

    1.hi is this the sex talk box
    :limp: :wang:

  40. slave julie

    Oh my, Master Solace….you have a following. Just remember, I was first to be so brazen. Oh, and by the way? Annoying the drive-thru drones?
    Be polite, order clearly, be understanding….but…..
    Pay in foreign currency.

  41. logan

    go to burger king and order sea food

    what the hell is the matter with the link of the day

  42. My sister and I always do the following:
    1. Confirm that the order is “to go” about three or four times during the transaction.
    2. Order in a whiny Rosie Perez voice.
    3. Since my sister is a vegetarian, we always yell at them “NO pull-offs! We are watching you!” (They like to just pull the meat off something already prepared.)
    4. After ordering something like a bean burrito or fries, ask them, “What comes on that?” After they explain, say, “Yeah…I don’t want that.”
    5. Different combinations of coins and paper money always confuses the (mostly undereducated) fast food employees.

    Ooooo….Dave…you need to do one of these things for Starbucks.

  43. Also, whenever we are given the total, we like to yell:

    “Two fiddy? GOOD LORD THADDA LOTA MONEY!” (ala Chris Rock)

  44. net-surfer22

    ๐Ÿ‘ฟ :wtf: ๐Ÿ˜›
    1. go to a tacco place, say in “Rosanna Danna Anna ” voice, (chicano) i think. ๐Ÿ˜›
    I’ll have five tacco’s mild, wit cheese, and hot sause, And hold D’aa Grrr’eese!

  45. jayray

    I would like a Big Mac Happy Meal, and thats TO GO !!! ๐Ÿ˜•

  46. Master Solace

    [Comment ID #24894 will be quoted here]

    :wtf: a following…why follow when you can ride!?!?! ๐Ÿ‘ฟ :wang: And don’t worry my slave, I won’t forget that you were the first to tag me( ๐Ÿ˜ณ oops, wrong way to put that isn’t it)! And as for giving the drive-thru clerk foreign currency, I’ve done that too, given the clerk at the local Wendy’s 10 DeutchMark bill in place of a NORMAL $10 bill…and she gave me change for the $10 bill! Some people are morons, or maybe she just wanted to keep it for herself…who knows!!!

  47. Master Solace

    And as for my following, all ya gotta do is ask and I’ll give you a way to get a hold of me…trust me, I’m full of surprises.

  48. Russell

    well in my area if you try to order in spanish at toco bell they yell at you and tell you if you cant speak english to go home and make your own tocos

  49. slave julie

    LOL Ok, Master Solace…..I’m asking. The um…ball’s in your court. (And if you’re a 12 year old kid with a way-too-grown-up-wit, I’m going to be verrrrry embarrassed, and will be hiding over >——- > there behind sub gypsy and the rest of your entourage.)

  50. Master Solace

    [Comment ID #25224 will be quoted here]

    First of all, I am not nor will I ever be 12 years old…that was a very troubling time…from what I remember of it. I will be turning 23 in June. Second of all, if you do want to get a hold of me, you can do so at [email protected] or [email protected]…or both if you’d like…now that’s if you want my email address(es), if you want to get a hold of me, the HOME game, email me first.

  51. aimmelou

    Order fries with no salt, so they have to make them fresh, then ask for salt packets at the window.

  52. theTorch

    Last time i ordered in fluent Spanish at a drive thru, they passed off the mic and some spanish lady said, Como puedo ayudarle?. I had to immediately switch back to English, saying in a thick accent that i had “found someone in the car who speak the English”. The original order taker returned, and we ordered a TON of food, then canceled most of it. Oh yeah, and my power window was frozen when we ordered, so i got out of the car to order. Then we pulled up and the car was maybe 6 feet away from the window. I tried my car window and it had unfrozen. Now i looked like a total fool, and then we paid him in $1s and dimes. They were scratching their heads by the time we peeled out of their lot.

    Another idea would be to drive up alone and order a buch of food and make it sound like you’re conferring with the 6 other occupants in the car. Order 7 meals, cancel six, and drive around solo. I’m sure they’d like that, especially if it took 10 minutes to order.

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