Special Guest Author: Jules OdeNile
- If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their
name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is
located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they
got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as
long as necessary.
- Say “no” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and
keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you
can do it until they hang up.
- If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan,
reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends, you be my friend?”
- If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “I’m so glad
you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these
problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the
- If the company cleans rugs, respond: “Can you get out blood? Can you get
out goat blood? How about human blood?”
- Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.
- Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come
on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”
- Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up â€¦ louder â€¦ louder â€¦
- When the salesperson asks, “Is this the homeowner?” say, “Is
this the salesperson?” And when they say, “Yes,” hang up.
- How would you annoy them?