Have the movie theatre experience at home

  1. Pour Coke on the floor the previous night and allow to harden. Garnish with wads of chewing gum.
  2. Buy a DVD, but not the extended version.
  3. Make popcorn, but put all the butter on one side of the bowl.
  4. Set your cell phone to go off randomly throughout the film.
  5. Place an obstacle that is taller than you, directly in front of your seat.
  6. Throw popcorn at yourself.
  7. Leer at yourself and flirt shamelessly.
  8. Do not pause the DVD for bathroom breaks.
  9. Ask yourself outloud what is happening. Do this every ten minutes.
  10. Give away the ending to yourself.

With help from Nikki

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  1. Well, I will be experiencing all that in the actual movie theater tonight. Heading out soon to see “MI: III”. Hopefully, I will not have to sign my soul over to Xenu for a ticket.

  2. Marcus

    Davezilla, you forgot the uncomfortable chair and lack of leg room.

    I think I will get my mom remote control taurantula for Mother’s Day

  3. Tina Marie

    Don’t forget to seat an annoying family just behind–you know the one, with the five year old who farts every five minutes, announcing it with giggles and snorts, and then fails to make a sound when he lets off a silent but deadly gas bomb that makes your eyes water for the next two minutes.

    Don’t forget them, because I know I won’t. ❓

  4. JFLY

    1. Make-out like you were 16 again.
    2. Sit through the movie twice to get your money’s worth.
    3. Walk back and forth in front of the TV until you annoy someone.
    4. Trip over others as you get up to use the bathroom.
    5. Loudly root for the bad guy / monster.
    6. Steal someone’s seat when they get up to use the bathroom.
    7. Send your “date” to the kitchen for soda…11 times.
    8. Throw your trash on the floor.
    9. Frequently get up to have a smoke in another room (again, don’t forget to trip over everyone).
    10. Say all the movie lines in sync with the actors.
    11. Dress like one of the characters (works really well for Star Trek and Rocky Horror).
    12. Be the last one to leave when the movie is over.

  5. Spud

    Shine a torch light onto the screen.

  6. Da Popster

    You gotta be REAL lonely to do all that to yourself. Get a pet !!! 🙁

  7. Esther, so long as they don’t charge you $200,000 per ticket at the window, I think you’ll be okay.

  8. Jinx

    Come early to get a good seat, then after the lights go out be asked to move over by someone who came late and wants to sit with the rest of her friends. Accidentally get pop spilled in your lap when you refuse.

  9. John

    Have a friend sit behind. Have them talk during the whole movie. And have them talk about really personal issues. Even if you get up and move, and say go to someone else’s house to watch a movie, have them sit behind you and talk,

  10. Francesca

    Don’t forget to turn the volume up so loud that you can’t hear anything else for hours afterwards :dead:

  11. Francesca

    And hope that your date hasn’t poked ANOTHER hole in the popcorn as a “surprise” :wang:

  12. Meagan

    Position the TV so it’s up really high then sit up so close you have to crane your neck to see the movie. Now that’s the real movie experience!

    I’m glad I decided to go with a live bouquet of flowers for my mom instead of the dead ones.

  13. [Comment ID #50487 will be quoted here]

    I want to go to the movies with JFLY!

  14. Marcus

    [Comment ID #50487 will be quoted here]

    A woman after my own heart. Let’s go to the movies a raise hell. I guess my quote from yesterday was a correct one for you.

  15. The person in front should move a body part every 5 seconds, and keep obscuring your view with an arm! 👿

  16. lucky

    Ask someone to make out behind you and make nasty slobbering sounds. Have the neighborhood kids sit and say the hero is like so awesome and how hunky he is

  17. prtyprincess

    that link is pretty funny, especially the fake poop…

  18. Paige

    That link was too much. Especially the panhandlers change purse. I think peed myself from laughing. 🙂

  19. Timm

    Have a guy who hasn’t bathed in a few days, sit in front of you and raise his arm (to put it around his girlfriend) so you get hit in the face with his extreme armpit odor.

  20. JFLY

    Anyone want to see the new “Pirates of the Caribbean” with me? 😛

  21. Marcus

    [Comment ID #50838 will be quoted here]

    Yeah, but you have to come to Bangkok, Thailand. I think it might be too far away for you. Oh well. Maybe next time. 😆

  22. [Comment ID #50847 will be quoted here]

    I’ll see it with you!! I’m at Patong Beach on Phuket, meet me on Bangla Road!! Paradise on earth!!!

  23. Marcus

    [Comment ID #50927 will be quoted here]

    Yeah that would be excellent and then we could light up and pretend to be pirates.

  24. Drusky

    Don’t forget to have someone sit right next to you, telling you what’s going to happen next and, of course, share the ending with you 1/4 into the movie! 😡

  25. Meagan

    If it’s a really sappy movie, laugh at inappropriate moments and make sound-effect noises during love scenes. That works best if you’re watching it with someone who really likes that movie.

  26. Timm

    Mom is “in the dog house” with me. Not only did I not tell her “Happy Mothers Day” I told her to get psychiatric help.

Comments are closed