Dream bandit


Ever see movies where the hero goes through some wild adventure, wakes up and realizes it was all a dream, but miraculously has an object in their hand from the dream? This kept happening to me. I kept waking up with objects on my chest. This morning it was a shiny metal knob which I identified as belonging to the bathroom drain. My kitten, who fetches like a dog, knocked it loose and brought it to me. She’s the culprit.


  1. Fleetwood

    I know this is way to easy..so let me be the first..
    Wet Pu**y?

  2. Brad

    I never knew you were such a hairy bastard, Dave.

    That is you, right? Cause if that’s your wifes arm, then I’d feel really awkward right now.

  3. Do you think she can fetch me the golden amulet of Gragar? I meant to get that back to the king but I woke up too soon! Hold on your majesty, I’m a coming!

  4. patrick

    Bosch action figures? I think that guy was eating the rye ergot a LOOOONG time before it became fashionable.

  5. julesOdeNile

    [Comment ID #219282 will be quoted here]

    and you figure “se” is ok?
    i ate when te kes do hat an yur essage loos lik youre on stuid crac.

  6. Ooh! So that is what the guys were loading in the truck, in the movie ‘Volcano’. All I knew was one guy claims that Heironymous Bosch was heavy – and the other guy goes on about how Bosch is fixated on man’s inclination to sin on the presence of a loving God. Sheesh. Even the dog, “Bill”, got out.

    I have been cracking pecans lately, and spilled some of the shells outside. An Oppossum has greeted me three nights this week, picking over where I dropped part of the shells – I can’t wait to see what that ugly varmint gifts me with. And, no, I can’t get the shotgun loaded before the Hilary scampers off into the trees. And possum looks really ugly in the headlights, you know?

  7. Lookit, lookit da. Dere’s evil monzterz downz dare I tellz ya!
    Killz ’em, killz ’em pleazzzzee!

  8. [Comment ID #219284 will be quoted here]

    Just my arms and legs. No hairy back, thank ghod.

  9. [Comment ID #219281 will be quoted here]

    Nope. She’d eat them.

  10. Oh it’s all fun and games until you wake up one day with your neighbour’s bloody arm on your chest.

  11. Drusky

    Hope she doesn’t start raiding the catbox for you… 😈

  12. [Comment ID #219289 will be quoted here]

    If my damn husband would stop wacking off to internet porn, the keys wouldn’t stick!

  13. chainstay

    Is that why my TV screen is all crusty?

  14. Salmon

    [Comment ID #219297 will be quoted here]

    is that why my book of british rock stars won’t open? 😈

  15. It’s just a diversion Dave!

    Every time you find something like that it is to keep you from noticing there is $10 missing from your wallet.

    (beware, dead birds = $50)

  16. StevieC

    [Comment ID #219297 will be quoted here]

    Rather ironic since the crew around here has been enjoying your avatars, especially the butt shot. 😈 :wang:

  17. RE: Video of the day

    More proof that peroxide kills brain cells

    plus Jeff Foxworthy might have to change his act from you might be a redneck to you might be a dumbshit.

  18. [Comment ID #219297 will be quoted here]

    Is that why my dungeon looks like the inside of a vaseline jar? :wtf:

  19. Bigwavdave

    [Comment ID #219297 will be quoted here]

    Nicolette – Please excuse the observation, but if your husband is beating the system while on the computer – You’d better start TCB! Much love…BWD

  20. Flash Gordon

    A burlap bag and a trip to t he river would
    cure that problem, Dave. AnnieB would probably
    take care of it for you.
    👿 😈 :wtf:

  21. [Comment ID #219361 will be quoted here]

    I married a MUCH younger man just for his high sex drive, but I do eventually need to sleep, and every once in a while I want to play with my girlfriend only, him not included. He has to do something during those times! 😆

  22. StevieC

    [Comment ID #219592 will be quoted here]

    I would think that manning the camera would be an appropriate task for him. 😈 :wang:

  23. julesOdeNile

    [Comment ID #219297 will be quoted here]
    that actually made me lift me fingers off the keys for a minute.:-|

    There’s this cover for keyboards – much resembling the covers you find on seats in the Ghetto & TPs – or you could just go for a water proof flexi keyboard.

    According to the myth, how blind is you hubby?

  24. brad s.

    the bosch action figure on the right was the guy i hired during my divorce

  25. StevieC

    [Comment ID #219629 will be quoted here]

    The one on the left represents me after mine.

  26. TimM

    [Comment ID #219282 will be quoted here]

    With my keyboard it’s the letter ” ” that has a problem.

  27. Rem

    Thats a radio active cat and he or she coughed up a metal fur ball! LOL Oh that cat also eats random hub caps down the neighborhood block. LOL

Comments are closed