Dear Mistre Dave Zilla

Normally I don’t reprint email, respecting the privacy of my readers and because I have better things to do. However, when I am specifically requested to reprint said communiqu? by none other than the Sultan of Cleveland, well, what can one do? I give you, unabridged, yesterday’s fan mail:

Dear Mistre Dave Zilla,
I know your real name sin’t ZIlla it’s Linaburty so I address you by your real name, the name you gave yourself. it is m9ore poewrful than nay amulet . Nay, more powerful than a +3 sword of Enchantrment!!Lissen I love your sight, It cracks me up every day at work and my girlfriends love it to. I have 3 girlfriends now, did I tell yuou? I rock so hard.Can’t touch this. That’s because how I role. I know you will want to print this emaile because it’s funny and so everyone will link tyo my blog. UH OH SHOOT DARN!!!! I didn’t make a blog yet. I will tho just you wait.I love Mandy and if she will go out with me I will kick out my other 3 girlfriends,. No wait she can be the 4th!! Yes!!!!!1!! +4 Elfin Chain Mail in da hizzy.Sorry to bug you all the time but sionce I am your hero I can do that HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

you could be wrong i could be right,
Yours in Dung,
The Sultan of Cleveland

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  1. Spud

    Nobody move, keep vewy still and maybe it will pass by, is that a siren I hear in the background?

    Inspiring stuff Dave, thanks for sharing with the class…


  2. pablo

    How do you feel about manifestos?

  3. :wtf: More like an insult to Cleveland, among other things. 🙄

  4. What the heck is “yours in dung” anyway?! Is he a dung beetle in addition to being a Sultan of Cleveland?

    What a hoot. I hope he writes to you more often. 😆

  5. And I think Mandy would rather have a root canal than be this wacko’s fourth.

  6. Anna

    I am especially interested in “how he role”.
    Also, my feelings are hurt …. I have to make more risque remarks I guess … to be on his list of girlfriends?

  7. sledge

    Woo more some better fine wurds then that

  8. Wow… I knew all along Cleveland was the place to be.

  9. StevieC

    To everyone in ‘ZillaLand:

    Happy Unimaginative, Consumer-Oriented and Entirely Arbitrary, Manipulative, and Shallow, Interpretation of Romance Day

    Cheers :java:

  10. Uh, if this is one of your consistent readers, perhaps I should have thought twice before registering.

  11. Mikeme

    Sounds like a Browns fan!!

  12. Bigwavdave

    The comfort of others is not the concern of the Sultan.

    Re: Kitty Spank – – – Mandy, what do you say, shall we give it a go? 😈

  13. The Pasha of Pitstberg..Pistbur..Pit….Dang!
    The Maharajah of Minyappolis..Minniaples..Shoot!
    The Caliph of Cincinatty..Cinsinattie..Aw crap!
    The Shah of Filidelfia.. Phillydelph…Godamt!
    The Czar of Milwalkie…Milwakie..Sheeit!
    The Kaiser of Albekerkie….Albuquirky…Phooey!
    The Emir of Okalehoma…Oclahomer..Aw balls!
    The Sultan of Cleveland. Hell yeah! Totaly. The Sultan of Cleveland rokcs!

  14. Peaches

    Was that in honor of “lame e-mail day”…
    The sultan does sound like Borat.

    Happy Valentines Day everyone! :kiss: :kiss:

  15. Wow, I never get fun e-mails like that! :wtf:

  16. junkman

    derea dung,
    i like yrou e-m9aile. it was poerwrful to Zilla Linaburty. you rae like a gerat wissard with wrods. UH oH!! Dave has use +5 jou ju magik staff on tyuou. HAHAHAHAHA. if yrou girlfreinds will be stollen. NO WAIT!!!!! Mandy can!! sionce she is the +10 enchantrmentess. when you go li8mp from hre spell. happy valnetines fro all but yuou.
    re3membre!!!! bettre loved than may6be not,
    miSTRE junKMAN

  17. Wayne

    [Comment ID #86795 will be quoted here]

    Actuqally mor funnie than tha oregnol!!


  18. MRDOUG

    Oh my god no comments from Mandy! Crap the sultan already has taken her for #4! Oh no what are we going to do?

    Dave can you use your “Hero” powers to help?

    Ann, now is your time to shine, no more dancing doggies, for the love of all things Zilla, update that icon of yours and show us your :undies:

  19. smallhalo

    “a +3 sword of Enchantrment!”

    omg! he a WoW player!! KILLLLLL!!! ITTTT!!!
    :puke: :limp: 🙁

  20. Spud

    Lung, your imagination runs away with you, very clever by half.

  21. Sweet T

    [Comment ID #86764 will be quoted here]

    I Second that motion ! 😆

  22. Flash Gordon

    Sorry, clev9lund, the lovely Mandy is alreddy
    promused to the Califf of Chattynoogie. Crawl back
    into yo whole. 🙄 👿 🙁 🙁 😈 :wtf:

  23. Joe-the-ragman

    Mandy is NOT exclusive – 😈 Mandy belongs to all Zilla’s :wang: :wang: So dream on! ! ! 😛

  24. Mandy

    Happy valentines day, Dave! :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:

  25. Mandy

    Whoa, guess I should read the comments first!
    [Comment ID #86852 will be quoted here]


  26. blustpie

    :mrgreen:dude! i like your style your just being true to yourself!!!!!! :limp:keep going!

  27. The Sultan of Cleveland

    Oho! You printed me Daveyboy!! I am so special indeedly do. What!?! You get 3 kisses from Mandy and I get noighthing? OMGWTFROTFLMAOBITCH! Yiou know I am the right one for you. I am ten time the man Dave ZIlla is.. And not as white. I ware real colors. Methinks he is a Muslom. :wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

  28. cbatdux

    Lung is a GOD.

    Mandy, Anna, Minnie are all babes – happy valentine’s to you all – in a non-commercial manner.

    Dave – I will stop sending you e-mails – fearful you will publish.

    Doesn’t this site have spell-chcek?

  29. Anna

    [Comment ID #86821 will be quoted here]

    but Mr. Doug … the dancing dog is a fair and accurate description of me.
    If you need to see my :undies: … here they are :thong: :thong: :thong:

  30. As a writer I’m apalled by the countless errors in that email. But as someone who likes nonsensical humour, that’s just… wow!

    And uh, by the way, it’s my birthday. Yup, I was born on Valentine’s Day. Not to brag or anything that is. 😛

  31. He did say “you could be wrong i could be right,”
    I am sure that counts for spelling too.

  32. [Comment ID #86997 will be quoted here]

    Happy Birthday, Meagan!! :java: 😆

  33. Spud

    Yeah, Happy Birthday Megan! 😀

  34. Thanks guys! 😆

    And Happy Valentine’s Day without the meaningless commercialism everyone! :kiss:

Comments are closed