A Cinamon Tesla

Of late I have been ordering iced black tea, mixed with lemonade at Starbucks. One day, the cashier yells to the barista, “An Arnold Palmer. Venti,” to which the barista repsonded, “What the hell is that?” “Well that’s the name of that drink. We call them that at the other store.”

That got me to thinking. Wouldn’t it be fun to make up all manner of drinks and claim that, “I dunno. All the other Starbucks make it.” Some suggestions. Be sure to add your own.

  1. The Lily Tomlin
  2. Rasberry Broken Refrigerator
  3. A Sarah Silverman
  4. Paris in Jail, with soy
  5. Fat-free, Nicole Richie
  6. A Cinamon Tesla, no sparks
  7. A Britney Spears, no Federline
  8. An Icky Thump
  9. A Dick Cheney, unsweetened
  10. What are your drink ideas?
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Show 29 Comments


  1. crash

    1. Whitches Brew
    2. Rasberry Tongue Spritzer
    3. Paris Hilton sweet or un sweet
    4. Shirley temple curles
    5. Jimmy Carter on Monica
    6. Zilla Gurlz Squirter :boob:
    7. Peachy Freeze
    8. Tooty & Fruity
    9. :java: Suprise
    10. I didn’t make it Don’t ask 😳

  2. Tater Salad

    Sour Simmon Cown prunjuice

  3. nanner

    Tom Hank Drank
    Opie Dopey

  4. chainstay

    “gimme’ a Bill clinton with a cigar.”

  5. A De-caffinated Lawyer, hold the Lawsuit
    Half-caff, Creamy, Nutty, Fishy, Icky Mocha Latte with Soy
    Cran-Razz Grasshopper Surprise
    Mocha Lava Hot Pepper Stinger
    A Brown Eye with extra Cream :wtf:

  6. Amanda B.

    Suicide Spritzer
    Clown Tear Tea
    KidSexChange Cappucino-hold the scalpel

  7. t1nyturtle

    “Beaver[, hold the tail]”
    “Lollipop Lou”
    “Perchance to Dream”
    “Hank Aaron Frappe”

  8. Spud

    A Tiger Woods – Black straight up, hold the milk, with a twist of lemon and a dash of vanilla essence.

    A Jay Leno – Mocha latte, sprinkle of cinamon, with a dash of tabasco sauce.

    A John Howard – Tepid warm water, hold the coffee, hold the milk, hold the sugar.

  9. Randy

    Pine float (toothpick and water)

  10. StevieC

    Sorry, Dave, but I could never order a coffee at Sixbucks. I just can’t see myself asking a “barista” for a “venti” anything. Besides, I like a regular, run of the mill, black coffee. I think a barista would need a mocha choca latte ya ya (free your Lady Marmalade) after being forced to serve a black coffee.

  11. poisonwisky

    The G W Cheney- no water, no cream, no coffee, no sugar. Shit in the cup, lie to me and tell me it’s really just lumpy java, because the un drank all the good stuff in celebration of finally finding those pesky wmd’s

  12. Bjorn Freeh

    Hey, what’s wrong with Windsor, Ontario? It has a thriving arts community. The Ballet is renowned…

  13. Chris S

    The Decider (aka: The Hard Work) — extra weak, watery black coffee with some grounds thrown in, hold the WMDs (whip cream, milk, or dairy substitute), unsweetened (see also: Dick Cheney), served with a condescending smirk and a paper umbrella to make it look good and let you think :wtf: ? Be sure to tell the barista he/she is doing a “heckuva job”.

    And just so you know, a Dick Cheney is unsweetened by definition. 😛 That is one grumpy guy.

  14. spicydolphin

    i second the motion for a straight up black coofee or (AKA) a cup of mud!!!!!

  15. One Sonny Lemonade with extra Cher(ries). :dead:

  16. junkman

    Mr. Bubble “T”
    Scooter Libby Pardon Punch
    Cheney Shooters
    Madonna Expresso Yourself
    Wham! Warm Back Yogurt Smoothy
    New Orleans Mud Slide
    OJ Slammer
    Lady Di Side Car Fizzle
    Black Ice T
    White Vanilla Ice
    Tommy Chong Bong Water
    Cheech Screech
    Falwell’s in Hell (this is not a drink but it’s true)

  17. Speedy

    Rolling Stones (it really rocks)
    gay mix cappucino (two coffees the same mixed up) :wang:

  18. I’d like to have a Dick Cheney Spreader…that would be a White Chocolate Mocha with some Cinnamon Syrup mixed in, with a lot of whipped cream(light on top), with dark chocolate powder on top(to represent black gun powder)…..with all of the sugar taken out of it………impossible……just ask our beloved President Boy George……you know he has to love a cup of Dick……….


  19. boc

    1)funky cliton with g. bush and blonde on top :thong:
    2)cup of dick… hold the sugar and cheney part
    3)large sugar in tank extra sugar :wtf:

  20. Get yer GEEK out!


    1. Kirk Slash Spock
    2. Time Portal
    3. Ipod without the phones
    4. Laptop with WiFi
    5. Harlan Ellison, no surf!
    6. Stallman, with a free beer
    7. Neuromancer
    8. Gray Goo
    9. Parents’ Basement, extra pimples
    10. Spock’s Ears, hold the pinch

  21. Scariest Lawyer Evar-He looks related to Runaway Bride… ❗
    “Look into my eyes…you will hire me to represent you…”

    WMD Surprise-Venti Chai Tea with shots of Ex Lax.

  22. LauraL

    Hate “yukbucks” hold it all and give me what American runs on “DUNKIN DONUTS” yummie!!!

    😛 😛 😛

  23. Flash Gordon

    The Ann Coulter—guaranteed to toss your cookies.
    :puke: :puke: :puke: 😳 😕 :wtf:

  24. Trevor

    A Dirty Sanchez with a sombrero.

  25. TimM

    A Kevorkian – hold the I.V.

    A Hasselhoff – No table, you drink it on the floor.

  26. AnnieB

    [Comment ID #194851 will be quoted here]

    I hate to be redundant but I could seriously fuck you if you would change your avatar. I told you how. :wtf:

  27. TimM

    If the lawyer considers that a good picture for the website I hate to think what his driver license photo looks like.

Comments are closed