Worst things to do in a library

  1. Using epoxy or Velcro, affix dozens of books all over yourself. Run through the library screaming
  2. Feign lycanthropy
  3. Ask loudly where the erotica section is
  4. Bring a webcam, hook it up to a public computer and do a striptease
  5. Sprinkle sneezing powder on all the reference books
  6. Ask the librarian if the copy machine will support a grown wo/man sitting on it
  7. Bring a skateboard. Do a 50/50 Grind off the religious book section
  8. Replace the contents of the card catalog with Rolodex cards from someone’s office
  9. Release the manatees!
  10. See the Video of the Day for more
viagra
free viagra
buy viagra online
generic viagra
how does viagra work
cheap viagra
buy viagra
buy viagra online inurl
viagra 6 free samples
viagra online
viagra for women
viagra side effects
female viagra
natural viagra
online viagra
cheapest viagra prices
herbal viagra
alternative to viagra
buy generic viagra
purchase viagra online
free viagra without prescription
viagra attorneys
free viagra samples before buying
buy generic viagra cheap
viagra uk
generic viagra online
try viagra for free
generic viagra from india
fda approves viagra
free viagra sample
what is better viagra or levitra
discount generic viagra online
viagra cialis levitra
viagra dosage
viagra cheap
viagra on line
best price for viagra
free sample pack of viagra
viagra generic
viagra without prescription
discount viagra
gay viagra
mail order viagra
viagra inurl
generic viagra online paypal
generic viagra overnight
generic viagra online pharmacy
generic viagra uk
buy cheap viagra online uk
suppliers of viagra
how long does viagra last
viagra sex
generic viagra soft tabs
generic viagra 100mg
buy viagra onli
generic viagra online without prescription
viagra energy drink
cheapest uk supplier viagra
viagra cialis
generic viagra safe
viagra professional
viagra sales
viagra free trial pack
viagra lawyers
over the counter viagra
best price for generic viagra
viagra jokes
buying viagra
viagra samples
viagra sample
cialis
generic cialis
cheapest cialis
buy cialis online
buying generic cialis
cialis for order
what are the side effects of cialis
buy generic cialis
what is the generic name for cialis
cheap cialis
cialis online
buy cialis
cialis side effects
how long does cialis last
cialis forum
cialis lawyer ohio
cialis attorneys
cialis attorney columbus
cialis injury lawyer ohio
cialis injury attorney ohio
cialis injury lawyer columbus
prices cialis
cialis lawyers
viagra cialis levitra
cialis lawyer columbus
online generic cialis
daily cialis
cialis injury attorney columbus
cialis attorney ohio
cialis cost
cialis professional
cialis super active
how does cialis work
what does cialis look like
cialis drug
viagra cialis
cialis to buy new zealand
cialis without prescription
free cialis
cialis soft tabs
discount cialis
cialis generic
generic cialis from india
cheap cialis sale online
cialis daily
cialis reviews
cialis generico
how can i take cialis
cheap cialis si
cialis vs viagra
levitra
generic levitra
levitra attorneys
what is better viagra or levitra
viagra cialis levitra
levitra side effects
buy levitra
levitra online
levitra dangers
how does levitra work
levitra lawyers
what is the difference between levitra and viagra
levitra versus viagra
which works better viagra or levitra
buy levitra and overnight shipping
levitra vs viagra
canidan pharmacies levitra
how long does levitra last
viagra cialis levitra
levitra acheter
comprare levitra
levitra ohne rezept
levitra 20mg
levitra senza ricetta
cheapest generic levitra
levitra compra
cheap levitra
levitra overnight
levitra generika
levitra kaufen

19 Replies to “Worst things to do in a library”

  1. 11. Continue reading when you have been informed that your country is under attack.
    12. To the librarian: ‘Excuse me Miss, there’s no toilet paper in the john so do know where I can find The Da Vinci Code?’
    13. Make your own glory hole by removing a couple of strategic books from shelves N-P and V-W.
    14. Rip out the last 3 pages of all the mystery novels.
    15. Walk in with a can of gasoline and ask for the Salman Rushdie section.
    16. Walk by the Women’s Studies section while singing ‘Thank ‘eaven For Leettle Girls….’ In a Maurice Chevalier accent.

  2. [Comment ID #83615 will be quoted here]

    LOL! I forgot what I was going to write after reading #15.

  3. Don’t mess with the children’s librarian. They can be foul, evil, and unforgiving creatures should you piss them off. On the other hand, they have very dirty minds and a bizarre sense of humor so they make great party animals.

  4. Sitting in a crowded section, unleash the chili / beer farts. Follow up with the loud proclamation “Good lord, somebody cut one!”

  5. Dress in nothing but red swim trunks and hold a large orange floatation device with it strapped across your chest. Then, using your best David Hasselhof impression “rescue” a foriegn student (preferably from Japan or China) from their homework. Repeat until either you are kicked out of the library for life or you have successfully saved all the international students from “shark infested waters”.

  6. Borrow 25 movies,20 books,as many CD’s that you can carry bring them back 3 weeks late and inform the librarian that you are only returning them for a friend

  7. [Comment ID #83630 will be quoted here]

    YOU GOTTA TRY THIS !!!!! IT’S AWESOME!!!!! I have a 95% rescue rate! THANX SHRUBBY!!!

  8. – Go into the romance section with your boy/girlfriend and read the steamy scenes outloud and role play.
    – Photocopy numerous pages out of the Kama Sutra and then place the photocopies in childrens books.
    – Hurdle jump over the turnstiles.
    – Check out a huge pile of books and then ask the librarian if books are flammable.
    – Cyberstalk someone on one of the public computers.
    – Scare people in the history section by jumping out at them wearing a viking helmet and brandishing a sword.
    – Grab a whole bunch of encyclopedias and then use a permanent marker to “update the information.”
    – Go into the video section and replace some of the educational films with porn.

  9. Video – funniest I’ve seen in a long while, the Japanese make an art of these kind of pranks.

  10. [Comment ID #83634 will be quoted here]

    I think I’ve done that!!

    Ask the meanist looking libraian you can find to help you look for the most embarrising/ hardest to find books, do it for about a hour or so and when you’re done and s/he asks you if you want to check out say “No thanks. I was compairing selections. Do you have any bargin DVD’s of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ I could use to decapitate you with?”

    Stupid upity forign librairians who cancel your library card just cause you don’t wanna pay 50 BUCKS CAUSE YOU LIVE OUT OF COUNTY! Bitca.

  11. Horrified …… horrified ….. that you would treat my fellow librarians thusly. You should be more loving towards them …… they love to be frenched in public. Please make them happy.

  12. – Take a pile of books and put them on a large study table. Get the family in and light a bonfire and make smores and marshmallows!
    – Do the same thing as above, but get everyone in the library to gather around and have a good old camp out sing song!
    – Re-enact scenes from a porn film when a group of children is being read a story.
    – Pretend to be an Irish leprachaun and look for your pot of gold.
    – Let your dog poo on the Magna Carta and don’t pick it up.
    – Wear only a loincloth.
    – Dress as Atilla the Hun and read the books on him and rip out all the pages and eat them very messily. After you have done this, walk out like nothing happened.

Comments are closed.