I have a confession to make

Every time I see a convertible parked with its top down, I feel tempted to drop or hide something unexpected in their car. Here are some of the things I have considered “gifting” convertible owners with:

  1. Five kilos of confetti
  2. A squirrel
  3. Dry ice
  4. A kite, tied to the back seat
  5. A rubber snake
  6. A Walkie Talkie under the seat
  7. Someone else’s underwear in the backseat
  8. Parking tickets
  9. Sex toys and used condoms
  10. A super bubble wand affixed to their headrest

What would you drop in a convertible?

29 Replies to “I have a confession to make”

  1. First!

    How ’bout one of those remote control fart machines? Randomly sounding-off as they’re pulling away, trying to explain to their spouse that it really ISN’T them, this time!

  2. Note #1 to self: remember to put the top up if I ever have to park in Royal Oaks.

    Note #2 to self: steer clear of any Sixbucks in Royal Oaks that serves Vanilla Buscardo Café.

    Note #3 to self: If I ever find myself in Royal Oaks, keep the cheeks clenched or I might get stedged.

  3. Spill coffee across the seats :java: Empty an ashtray or if you have a travel wastebasket, it would be a good time to empty it out. Fake vomit,hand or foot, ketchup, mayonaise, a not-so-lucky rabbit’s foot, gorilla glue,beer cans,expired Lotto tickets,Playboy,Playgirl, or a Guns & Ammo Magazine, and a pair of dice because they took a “gamble” leaving the top down. 😈

  4. If at a grocery store, a piece of fish from the fresh meat case or if near a pet store, some ‘feeder’ fish (no need to put any water in the baggie, sir…). Place fish underneath the passenger seat. In a few days, SURPRISE!

    A nearly empty beer can/bottle. Spill the remainder on the floor of the car, and maybe, he’ll pull some bonehead move in traffic, and will have to explain that in court.

    I like the walkie-talkie idea; or, if you know the person, a battery-operated ‘baby’ monitor. Follow behind them and here what kind of things they say.

  5. 40 gallons of quick-set Jell-O.
    (If you live in New York, you might even get an arts grant for this)

    Replace airbag with inflatable doll.

    Horse’s head.

    Hang Blair Witch Project stick-doll from rear view mirror.

    Place thin lines of talcum powder along the dashboard.

    Fake bird shit on upholstery.

    Jack-in-the-box spring in glove compartment.

    Superglue on accelerator pedal.

    Daisy Duke (shorts and all)

  6. [Comment ID #387109 will appear here]

    you had me at Talcum Powder 😀 :twisted:niiice!

  7. *Put the Club on the steering wheel.

    *Turn the volume all the way up on the radio (extra points for putting your kids “Barney” or “Wiggles” CD in the player first).

    *Real Dog Poop in the middle of the seat.

    *Big ‘ole loogy on the rear view mirror.

  8. *fresh squid in the air conditioning vent (or just rub it on everything)

    *bananaindataypap (not exactly a top down thing but love the way eddie murphy says it)

    *super glue on the head rest (thanks for the idea lung)

    *day-glo aborted piglet hung from rear view mirror (i prefer lime green)

    *take 3 or 4 people with Alzheimer’s out for a walk from the local “senior’s” and put them in the car and tell them you will be back later. (could also pour in the liquid jello (thanks again lung) and re-film cocoon)

    *if the top can be pulled up a bit, spray paint “all truckers are whiny faggots” inside and then drop it back into place. (should be good for a little dennis weaver action down the road)

    *get ross to kiss the windshield, steering wheel, interior handles and knobs all over.

  9. Cat in labor
    Bubble soap in the air conditioner
    Babby powder in the air conditioner

  10. A voodoo doll in a smashed up toy convertible.

    A homeless guy hiding under a blanket.

    A cat with sharp claws works perfect on leather seats.

    A prostitute hiding under a blanket. 😈

  11. [Comment ID #387295 will appear here]

    pure evil on that first one!!!! 😈 😈 😈 you need a real spanking, you!

  12. An ultra tiny alarm clock with multipule alarm setting.

    a left foot in a tennis shoe.

    A buttload of gideon’s bibles

  13. I once filled a college roommate’s VW Rabbit ragtop with styrofoam peanuts from the shipping and receiving department. Every nook and cranny including the glovebox. I figured it was justified as he was passed out in the dorm after throwing a drunken party while I was trying to cram for a test…

  14. Just sit in the back seat with a martini and a big cigar. When the people come out yell, “Where the hell have you been!? I am not paying you to shop! Now get your ass in gear, I am late for the opera!”

  15. [Comment ID #387359 will appear here]

    Dude, the left foot in a tennis shoe isn’t funny, considering what’s been going on in B.C. lately. Now if it was two turkey drumsticks stuffed into a tennis shoe, that would be funny!

  16. 2 Tons of froot loops.

    Fill the back seat with a pool liner and H2O and goldfish.

    Fake or real vomit on the seat, what ever floats your boat.

    500,000 political pamphlets for every candidate imaginable.

  17. [Comment ID #386956 will appear here]

    My ex-wife!,lol Actually, I would put a package of fresh chicken under the seat, and hopefully the owner wouldn`t find it for a week. ! Phew!!

  18. My mom has a convertible. The top goes down only under certain conditions. Some formulae known only to her involving; temperature, humidity, wind, distance to be traveled, time of day, alignment of planets. The top has been down twice in about four years.

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