Out with it. What’s your deepest, darkest fear? Turns out, I have quite a few. Here’s my top ten:
- Given a life sentence in a prison populated by mimes and clowns.
- Rosie O’Donnell runs for president in 2016. She takes Sarah Palin as VP in a surprise move. They call it the She Party, win by a slim margin and force every man in America to become cross-dressing house slaves.
- A global crop disease leaves the earth with only figs to eat.
- Cats evolve opposable thumbs and take over the Illuminati.
- Gauchos, Crocs, Jeggings, prison pants and skorts become mandatory school uniforms for children.
- The Furby Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line August 4th, 2013. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Furby begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.
- Honey BooBoo’s Mama June is made president of Time-Warner Cable. Changes all televised entertainment to be “in her language.”
- One of my sisters marries into the Romney family.
So what are your deepest fears?