What I learned from watching MTV Trés

  1. No matter how many women a man sleeps around with, he can always get his true love back by making puppy dog eyes at her in a nightclub
  2. While Latino men need to bundle up in thick winter coats in Southern California, Latina women find that hot pants and a sequined bra are the perfect outfit for any weather condition: hot, cold or monsoon
    Reggaeton collage
  3. Cellphones have outstanding reception, even in remote Mexican ghost towns
  4. Drum machines are actually powered by an old Cuban man with a straw hat and congas
  5. It is not only acceptable to go to a formal dance in Doc Martens and black lingerie, it is admirable; within minutes, everyone in the room will follow suit by losing their suits
  6. Every small town has a black tie nightclub, in which all cheating lovers can be found
  7. All bouncers have greased-back ponytails
  8. Low riders bounce perfectly to Reggaeton beats
  9. The better a Latina is dressed, the more likely she is to get nasty in an oily, mechanic’s garage
  10. What have you learned?
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32 Comments

  1. Bigwavdave

    WooHoo! 1st in line – – – What I learned from your comments is I’m glad I didn’t waste my time watching MTV! :puke: :puke: :puke:

    Baby vs Cobra – Now THAT’s Entertainment

  2. Spud

    “2. While Latino men need to bundle up in thick winter coats in Southern California, Latina women find that hot pants and a sequined bra are the perfect outfit for any weather condition: hot, cold or monsoon.”

    Actually, I was going to make some pithy comment about the above passage, but you know what? I’m just getting/got real bored with MTv videos these days, Rap/bling bling music is missing a letter, and that letter is C. Who in the hell thinks up this crap come drivel that tries to pass itself of as music.

    Farking hell, yeah girlie girls all just hang out in halta tops in da hood and do dare ting to da rap bro.

    blah blah blah.

    😆

  3. 11. You CANNOT use the word ‘corazón’ too often in a song.

    12. Latino men can get away with wearing higher heels than their girlfriends and all things considered, probably should.

    13. Car roofs do not exist below the Río Grande.

  4. Spud

    14. All Latino chicky babes are hot for sex.

    15. Latino grandparents rock da house.

    16. No matter how low a pair of pants are on a bloke, they will never, I repeat, never fall down.

    17. Police always smile and think it’s terrific music.

  5. Gladia

    Well no comments on the mtv thing, I’ve never watched it, but I really doubt I’ve missed much judging from the comments so far. Baby v Cobra however…….. I love snakes, but couldn’t the parents find a real babysitter, or is their kid that difficult to deal with?????? 🙄 :wtf: 😆

  6. Buck

    I learned the VH1 Classic show metal videos on saturday mornings!

  7. sledge

    no matter how much you weigh,thongs and the lowest of the low rise looks great on latina chicks

  8. patrick

    Not one damned thing! I’ve never watchted MTV 3 and if I did I wouldn’t admit it! Or at least not in public.

  9. 20. Women are curvy in latin videos. Not fat (and never like Skeletor). I like that, but no matter how hot the girls are, for some reason the camera’s have a magnetic attraction to the ugly guy “singing” the fucking song.

    21. No amount of ass jiggling is too much.

    22. The worst shape the singers teeth are, the more close-ups of his face we get.

    23. Background dancers can jiggle in slow motion to where even the most attractive of them can suddenly invoke your gag reflex…

    *Atrevete-te-te salte del closet. Destapate, quitate el esmalte. Deja de taparte, andale ponte hiper.

    Dare to-to-to come out of the closet. Uncover (Bare) yourself, take off the nailpolish. Stop covering yourself (fronting), come on get hiper* :wtf:
    This song just confuses me that much more.

  10. junkman

    darest one even think of the unmentionable today? :boob: :boob: :thong: 8) :wang:

  11. Suffering incisors, Astryd. ‘Quitate el esmalte’ could be translated as ‘remove your enamel’. For a minute there, I thought you were making reference to point Nº. 22 again.

  12. That’s true. I hadn’t thought of that. (I was doing my nails when I heard this) Considering it mentions coming out of the closet I went with the first interpretation that came to mind.

    Can’t these people afford Full Dental?!

  13. pablo

    I haven’t watched Mtv since the mid 80’s. Plus, pablo no habla espanol.

  14. junkman

    [Comment ID #181755 will be quoted here] you and me both. i figured i had learned all that there was to be learned from mtv when the culture club hit the screen.

    :puke:

  15. Re: Latest Poll-I agree we need more Mandy (among many others). I miss her too 🙁 but it’s up to her to participate. Freedom of choice and all. 🙄
    But I’m sorry if little old me is too much for you (insert sympathy icon here). It’s just me! 😛

    (*picturing Mandy naked**being tired of all this talk about Mandy**we need way more Mandy and less Astryd*)
    One can’t please EVERYONE! :wtf:

  16. Bigwavdave

    I gotta work on my Photoshop skills. :wtf:

  17. pablo

    Loved the video. Here’s aa little known fact. This is from Samuel L Jackson’s family vault. There wasn’t sound included with the clip but according to his mother his first words were, “I’m getting tired of all these muthar fuckin’ snakes on my muthar fuckin’ blanket” the rest is history.

  18. Flash Gordon

    How about a wet tee-shirt contest starring the
    Zilla girls? Proceeds to charity. :wang: :wang: :boob: :boob: 😆 :kiss:

  19. chainstay

    I would wholeheartedly suggest that if you have any questiones, go to “Ask a Mexican. com”

  20. AnnieB

    Astryd … I wouldn’t give a second thought to a gutless wonder that would post their opinion anonymously in the Latest Poll section. I always find you entertaining. Screw him/her. I changed my Avatar to reflect my opinion of this delightful person.

  21. Drusky

    [Comment ID #181794 will be quoted here]
    Now AnnieB, don’t hold back… go ahead and say how you feel. It’s not healthy to hold back… 😆

    Seriously, I have to agree. I find Astryd an agreeable addition to the ZillaWorld. Funny, perky, playful. The kind of things that make up a pinup girl’s bio… 😛

  22. Mandy

    [Comment ID #181794 will be quoted here]

    Can’t we all just get a long :wang: ?
    :kiss: I love you all. Please drink responsibly.

  23. vacunya

    [Comment ID #181708 will be quoted here]
    16. in the real world, low-hanging jeans makes you an easy target for pantsing, coz its not that hard to pants someone when their pants are hanging at their knees to begin with 😆

  24. cows go moo

    I’m suddenly really glad I’ve never watched MTV :puke: 😕

  25. Not to worry Pablo. We knew another gringo Pablo over here once who didn’t speak a word of Castillian either. He always introduced himself as Pablonohablo.

  26. harley quinn

    [Comment ID #181758 will be quoted here]

    You are not alone.

  27. [Comment ID #181794 will be quoted here]

    Aw, shucks. Thanks guys! 😛
    I’m not offended really, it’s a compliment for me to know that I’m making a big enough impact in someone’s life to make them miserable enough to publicly, though cowardly, complain. 😀 (Too much/hot to handle! 😈 )Gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside and an air of pride!! (smugly holds head up high)

    Mandy-With that thing :wang: , we can definitely get along!!

    Drusky- Funny, perky, playful. The kind of things that make up a pinup girl’s bio 😛 . 😳 !

  28. Drusky

    [Comment ID #181818 will be quoted here]

    😆 😀 😆 😀 😆

  29. StevieC

    Geez, go away for a few days and come back to find someone dissin’ Astryd. Sheesh!

    We love ya girl (several times over, actually :wang: :wang:)

    Zillaland wouldn’t be any fun without ALL the great Zillagals. A toast to each and everyone of these lovely lasses :java:

    To the anonymous poster – if you don’t like it, :wang:U ❗ We’re here for the laughs, the friends, and the occasional road trip. Have a :java:, mellow out, and enjoy the ride.

  30. I was gone for quite awhile, and it nice to know that the laughs are still intact……and I agree with you StevieC…I raise my glass for that toast :java: …

    While I still don’t post that often still, I do read every post and comment and I do have to say that whether it is Mandy, Astryd, or any other of the great Zillagals(soon to have it’s on wikipedia entry if it we use it some more)…I think all of you lovely ladies deserve the “Master Solace Full-Mast Award” :wang: …

    Now please for a moment of silence while I give these ladies a trouser snake salute…. :wtf: :wang: 👿

  31. 💡 💡 💡

    And I guess while I’m at it, I should probably give my shout out to Spud……I have returned to inject nightmares into the souls of the innocent…..or maybe just poke fun at them……

    And Mr. Zilla, just so you know, I am feeling much, MUCH better now…… 😀

Comments are closed