Spank my monkey


Image via Mandy. No, that isn’t her. She plays with bigger monkeys (so I’m told).

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  1. Supercharged_goddess

    Gee you’d think a monkey that big would be hung like King Kong- I’m semi disappointed. 🙁 :wtf: I can’t seem to understand why she is smiling so big- he’s still :limp:

  2. With a sock monkey that size, somebody must have one hell of a big foot!

  3. russ

    [Comment ID #234873 will appear here]

    She smiles because even though it’s not hung like King Kong it’s still as big as her arm. Bring on the fisting :wtf: :wang:

  4. I notice she didn’t waste any time knitting fingers or toes, yet other aspects are surprisingly detailed. :limp:

  5. that is pretty huge for a monkey! Most monkies and other primates are rather um…poorly endowed. :limp:
    I mean, if humans were hung even like gorillas, proportionately they’d be about 2-3 inches on average! eep.
    thank god early female humans selected for size!! :wang:

  6. Bigwavdave

    [Comment ID #234873 will appear here]

    Well, obviously she hasn’t hit the “ON” switch yet! :wtf:

  7. Supercharged_goddess

    [Comment ID #234879 will appear here]
    Yeah, and you know what they say about guys with big feet, maybe he has another endowment i could suck on!

  8. Supercharged_goddess

    [Comment ID #234898 will appear here]

    And where have al your boyfriends been hiding if they are bigger than 2-3 “? Maybe I need to look for new meat, I mean, men… 😀

  9. Nevermind the monkey blonde chicks with glasses are HOOOOOOOOTTTTT…..Mandy….Mandy….Beuler ?

  10. J

    Yea shes pretty hot she could pet my monkey

  11. [Comment ID #234923 will appear here]
    my bf isn’t hung like a gorilla. lol. :wang:
    Hides him

  12. janeeto

    You have the Sarah Silverman video, “I fucking Matt Damon”. Have you seen Jimmy Kimmel’s response, “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck”? Absolutely hilarious!

  13. [Comment ID #234985 will appear here]

    Almost as lovely as old people and squirrels 😀

  14. Their relationship had become strained some time ago.

    He had been very supportive when she lost her job at the TV station, and was actually flattered that she would murder her husband in order to spend more time with him.

    But she became more and more depressed, even crotchety.

    He half-expected her to say the words that all knitted monkeys dread hearing from their creator: “I think we should knit other animals.”

    He knew it was over the day he leaned over her her with visibly amorous intent, and she screamed, “Get off me, you damn dirty woolen ape!”

    After that, things unraveled pretty quickly.

  15. Jenny was Class Valedictorian, and voted Most Likely to Knit a Primate with One Hand.

  16. Spud

    Matty told Hatty, “that’s the thing to do…

    the wool with you.” Wooly Bully, wooly …

  17. [Comment ID #234879 will appear here]

    I didn’t catch this first time around. Good one!

    @ Spud LOL!!!!

  18. Bigwavdave

    [Comment ID #234985 will appear here]

    And I think your new Avatar is smokin’. :wang:

  19. You guys have it all wrong, it’s an ad for a safe sex campaign. “Sock your monkey before you start socking me.” 😈

  20. Jay Laverdure

    After the marathon fabrication of her spankable monkey, “Jenny”
    moved on to smaller, but still enjoyable projects: To wit,
    a crocheted tie for a rooster (so she could choke her chicken) &
    a plaited leather bullwhip (so she could beat her meat).

  21. junkman

    can you say this 3 times quickly?
    how many socks could a sock cutter cut if a sock cutter could cut socks?

    p.s. someone should knit this poor monkey some stitchy mcyarnpants

  22. Chris S.

    [Comment ID #235205 will appear here]

    You know, it actually does look like Vin Diesel. They should re-release his movies with this monkey superimposed over him. Maybe then “The Pacifier” would be a little more interesting… :wtf:

    Mandy… just what in the hell was that website were you browsing when you stumbled across this gem of a photo? On second thought, maybe I don’t want to know…

  23. [Comment ID #234885 will appear here]

    Eek! Bring on the fisting?

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I can’t seem to stop doing my Kegels.

  24. TimM

    “No mom, I’m not looking at dirty pictures on the internet. I’m looking at craft projects.”

  25. Edward

    [Comment ID #234873 will appear here]

    Maybe he`s (the monkey) is in between sessions and making more as we speak, lmao!

  26. Drusky

    Wait until she knits a silk condom…

    No wonder that he’s so big but still so limp. ‘Tis the ‘Roids to blame… :limp:

  27. Dragonhose

    Everyones got something to hide cept for me and my monkey.

  28. Dragonhose

    overheard: Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz? No but I’ve been swung around by my tits.

Comments are closed