Destroyer of Souls 6500 ZX

You know how agencies name lame products after tough animals? Like you might see a golf cart called, “The Grizzly”, a garden rake called the “Garden Shark”, or a leaf blower called the Undead Man-Eating, Aztec Destroyer of Souls 6500 ZX?

OK, so maybe “Garden Shark” was a bit of a stretch.

I generally get worried when I see those things. Like maybe the Grizzly golf cart will chase me up a tree, smash my lunch box and scoop salmon out of a nearby river.

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  1. it’ll get me salmon?
    doesn’t sound too bad to me. I’ll take one! when do the late-night infomercials start??

  2. ElRoacho

    So here I sit typing words on my “Moral Anialator Keyboard” trying not fall out of my “Death Dealer 2000 Reclining Corporate Chair” while I try to understand the concept of that paragraph………. I’ve got nutin! Hand me that “Pestulance Z1000 Pencil” so I can get back to work.

  3. How about more truth in advertising

    The ready to die early triple cheeseburger

    Mr. Squishy brand adault diapers

    Itchy & Scratchy brand toilet paper

    Give me another 75 cents you moron supersize meal

    Mr. Swirly mega flush toilets

    The Shit happens Insurance agency

    Windows piece of useless crap version 4.0

    Screwed you blue ray discs

  4. Flash Gordon

    The Humongous Ejaculator Penis Lengthener. :thong: :wang: :boobs: :wang:

  5. I see this every day, mostly because I work in the fishing industry. Piles of metal/plastic garbage, dragged through the water, with names like….

    Xw6 Wake Bait
    Vibra King Finesse Tube (sounds nsw)
    Hellbender Magnum Downrigger
    X-Rap Slash Bait


  6. Woops, thought it would leave a verticle list…. fix?

  7. No worry’s here Dave , my Iron Smellting Vulcanic Core Turbo blasting BAR-B-Q Grill is perfectly safe…now please stand behind the safety wall while I fire this mother up .

  8. Jay Laverdure

    Tell me: Why do they need a three-year-old to give a “legitimate”
    response to the star War’s Mythology?!

    Then again: Why is “ANY”-one paying “ANY” attention to the
    Christian Far Right?

    (1] This man(!) showed up, under some pretense that:

    A Star Wars movie is, spiritually, so damaging to the average American psyche, that, out of each multi-plex theatre,
    very many will emerge, each show, so twisted that only a bi-polar/semi-psychotic/pseudo-Christian can steer them “right” again;

    2] GOD speaks to this man so directly that, tonight, he will receive a personal/complete/in-depth critique of his performance, directly from GOD:
    So that, tomorrow, he will have no doubts and no hesitation about being a complete asshole!

  9. The Cheese Whip – a tasty and kinky treat! 😈

  10. patrick

    Dave, I’ve got two words for you buddy, Pro Zac. Take a chill pill and relax dude.

  11. Supercharged_goddess

    [Comment ID #235697 will appear here]

    AMEN! Can we get back to naked zilla girls now? Jeez, what is WRONG with you people? 😆

  12. Spud

    Dave has unfortunately activated the Undead Man-Eating, Aztec Destroyer of Souls 6500 ZX ….Now with new improved emulsifier! BG101!! therefore all topics have been shredded.


  13. tinamarie

    Personally, I hid my stash and didn’t get it out for several weeks after my Dad bought “The Weed Whacker.”

    Another product that makes me go WTF? is the Garden Weasel. We had chipmunks and a homosexual mole that ran up my dad’s pant leg, did a few circles in the “croch area” of his pants and ran down the other leg, but no Weasels. After the homo-mole, my dad totally refused to buy the Garden Weasel. You can kind of see why….. :wtf:

  14. tinamarie

    By the by, folks, the chipmunks and the homo-mole lived in our garden. After reading my comment, I realized that I had not made that clear–and I wanted to make sure you didn’t think those were pets or anything. For pets, we had the leg humping dog, the shit-on-your-foot dog, and the pee-in-the-clothes-hamper cat.

    And people wonder why I’m still in therapy…

  15. [Comment ID #235790 will appear here]

    No, I’m wondering why you’re not a stand-up comic! 😛

  16. Ronica

    [Comment ID #235788 will appear here]

    [Comment ID #235790 will appear here]

    OH MY GOD!! I can totally picture this, my dad has a little Maltise that loves to chase squirrels in the yard, she chased one into the house and it ran up my dads leg, perched on his head (scratching the shit out of his face) before jumping onto a wall and escaping out the back door.

  17. Drusky

    How About…

    ‘The Cold Nipple Enhancing Bra’

    ‘Skids-No-More’ teflon lined undies

    ‘Sez It’s Nine, Feels like Three’ male enhancement pills

    ‘Depths of Hell’ bathroom air freshener

    ‘Seared Flesh-o-Matic II” heating pads

    ‘Shlong Scorcher’ inflateable personal assistant

Comments are closed