Plagues that didn’t make it to Egypt

  1. The Plague of Slinkys
  2. The Plague of Double-Sided Tape (quickly followed by…)
  3. A Rain of Lint
  4. A Flood of Nail Clippings
  5. Each first-born son will have a third nipple
  6. The Plague of BeDazzlers
  7. A Flood of Grape Jelly
  8. A Plague of Chalkboard Screeching
  9. A Stampede of Rodeo Mimes
  10. What plagues would you envision?
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Show 36 Comments


  1. Spud

    The plague of clowns, the most insidious blight in the history of man/womankind.


  2. Tina Marie

    Ass-boils. Definately, ass-boils. Then again, 8 years of Dubya has been enough wear and tear on my ass, so…

  3. evilmister

    The Plague of Lifelike Looking Ceramic/Porcelain Dolls with eyes that follow you across the room. >shudder

  4. evilmister

    The Double Whammy Plague of Self-Dobt and Misgiving

    The Rain of Spoiled Body Parts (available only on weekends and proof of lineage to the Argento Family)

    The meme-Plague of Nancy Grace, that hideous consciousness-replicating mental diminishment thingie that does thingie to … BUSH ROCKS and down with illegal aliens!

    Jeebus, i could go on forever… 😈

  5. 11. Swarms of butterflies
    12. Hoardes of teenagers
    13. Water turned into jello
    14. Rain of bouncy balls
    15. A Total Eclipse of the Heart
    16. All first born sons will be gay

  6. Swarms of Indians singing and dancing to the Beatles ( I thought those guys were cool!)

  7. Anna

    Swarms of Beedogs, definately, beedogs.

  8. Flood of musak.
    Plague of paper cuts.
    Swarm of real estate agents.
    Flood of infomercials.
    Seventh son of the seventh son becomes the Pharaoh’s personal trainer.
    100 dollars a barrel.

  9. bhamm

    – The plague of babbling co-workers
    – Flood of Pepto-Bismol
    – Swarm of parachute pants
    – Boils on hands of all computer support technicians
    – All left shoes will burn with Hellfire

    The Horror… THE HORROR!!!

  10. Patrick

    -Mimes, as far as the eye can see. And they only know ‘man in a box’!
    -All Rush LImbaugh, All the time. All the channels.
    -Bad news-there’s nothing to eat but buffalo chips. Good news-w’eve got lots of buffalo chips!
    -The last woman on earth is Anne Coulter! And she WILL NOT SHUT UP!!
    -Hot and cold running Fresca, and nothing else to drink.

  11. Bjorn Freeh

    11. Miles of orange barrels
    12. Blue-haired chariot drivers who can barely see over the chariot’s frame
    13. Plagues of plaque (teach your little pharaoh to brush well)
    13. Extra thirteens
    14. Lists of lists
    15. Sand everywhere! (oh… never mind)
    16. Scads of sphinx sphincters
    17. Amway and other pyramid schemes
    18. Lotsa these :puke: mixed into the hieroglyphs
    19. Limp obelisks
    20. NASCHARIOT dads

  12. MrDoug

    11. Hillary Gore with constant droning that the world will end
    12. Lawyers, Lawyers, Lawyers
    13. Spam falling from the sky, (damn thoes cans really hurt)
    14. Oral Sex

    Looks like dave is doing some light reading these days…

  13. – The curse of every mother in law turning into Anne Coulter.
    – A swarm of Jehovah’s witnesses.
    – A flood of clowns.
    – A plague skunks with diarrhea.


  14. Mandy

    The Fashion Plagues of America:
    1. The Plague of UGS
    2. The Plague of 80s leggings
    3. The Plague of 80s torn sweatshirts off the shoulder
    4. The Plague of guys who still wear prison pants
    5. The Plague of pudgy bitches in belly shirts
    6. The Plague of sweatpants with writing on the ass
    7. The Plague of grills (teeth not yummy BBQ)
    8. The Plague of dorky guys with yellow lenses in their hornrims
    9. The Plague of argyle socks UGH :puke:
    10. The Plague of flipflop sandals with business suits

  15. Bjorn Freeh

    But, Mandy, I think the flipflop sandals with business suits plague did hit Egypt. Granted, their business suits looked a tad different than today’s, but still…

  16. DaPopster

    # 13. Plague of a thousand camel fleas infesting their crotches. 😈

  17. Pappy

    What’s wrong with Slinkys Dave? I like Slinkys! 😆

  18. mikeme

    A plague of Davezilla regulars running out of words! :wtf:

  19. Chicky

    Plague of anorexic, overyly dyed blonde, cookie cutter, no talent, bimbo-esque, pre-teen pop tartlets.
    Plague of idiotic tweens who continually give their parents’ hard earned money to the previously mentioned tartlets.


    ‘nuf said.

  20. Chicky

    [Comment ID #69971 will be quoted here]

    AMEN sister!!!

  21. brianne

    The deadly plague of better dancing skills!

  22. evilqueen

    [Comment ID #69981 will be quoted here]

    Pappy! Yes slinkys are ok alone or in pairs but in plague form they block up all the stair cases and they make that damn slinkity sound all night long! There’s just no stopping them!!! Everyone knows it’s slinky! AHHHHhhhh…..Fer crying out loud now I gotta get that stupid song outta my head :dead:

  23. Morah

    And lo, the Nile will turn to TasteDLite

  24. Tina Marie

    [Comment ID #69961 will be quoted here]

    Dude, I do believe I could live with plagues of oral sex. Mmmmm, oral sex. 8)

  25. Irish

    [Comment ID #69900 will be quoted here]

    shudder 😆

  26. [Comment ID #70029 will be quoted here]

    For the second post in a row, I have to show that self-control…….as much as I don’t want to, I have to………AH THE HELL WITH IT……..Tina Marie….I could help you start that one if you’d like……. 😈

  27. Drusky

    [Comment ID #70037 will be quoted here]
    That’s it, Master S, let it flow… (no pun intended… well…maybe…) Choking back the urge two posts in a row has been known to cause internal organ damage…

    😈 🙂

  28. [Comment ID #70018 will be quoted here]

    I believe the toy we should most fear is the Furby! Creepy little gremlins…

  29. Zeke

    the plague of hummers
    the plague of mimes
    the plague of clowns
    the plague of garden gnomes

    those plagues suit you, dave? 😆

  30. Marcus

    1 the 7 day plague of Brittny Spears singing her song “Opps. I did it again” (Please stop singing and do porn)
    2 the flood of Davezillans making comments about everything strange :wtf: 😆
    3 all alcohol turns to prune juice (shudder.. :puke:)
    4 all women develop old lady’s low hanging, wrinkled, tits.. :limp:

  31. [Comment ID #70039 will be quoted here]

    tell me about it…….and I heard it has the capability to to damage some external organs…….too………………………maybe it’s that plague of oral sex that started it….maybe someone should come help me………..I want to start that plague………..any takers………………..

    I’ll be good now…….. 🙄 😈

  32. [Comment ID #70146 will be quoted here]

    Alcohol into prune juice………well…….if you drink too much alcohol, stuff might start flowing from the one end…..but I don’t think I want my beverage sending it ALL the other way………..

    And Brittney Spears doing porn……I don’t know…….I could see her singing that awful song when she purposely misses a money shot……….imagine that for a moment, and please don’t send the hitmen again…….the last ones failed….. 😈

  33. Kate

    [Comment ID #69894 will be quoted here]

    i agree whole heartedly man those fuckers are effing dreepy. ❓

Comments are closed