On Golden Shower Pond

I recently had my full physical examination from the doctor. All is well, although one comment from the nurse threw me a little. “We need a urine sample. Take this cup to the bathroom and hold it under the urine stream.” Had she used ‘your’ in place of ‘the’, I might not had noticed.

As a result, while I peed, I imagined being under the urine stream as a happy place, a fairytale land with dew-lit butterflies and gamboling elves. Perhaps even a poem. Under the Urine Stream, by Walt Whitman. Rime of the Ancient Uriner, by Coleridge.

And why must it be a stream? What if you had a raging urine river? Here’s some other titles I thought up as I held my cup under the urine stream.

  1. The Babbling Urine Brook
  2. Noah’s Ark and the Urine Flood
  3. A Tribute to the Urine Tributary
  4. The Quiet Urine Creek
  5. The Urine Well
  6. Sailing the Urine Seas
  7. The Fountain of Urine
  8. Ten Days Alone: Yellow-Water Rafting in Colorado
  9. And I cannot resist, On Golden Pond
  10. What titles can you come up with?
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comment 46 comments
  • Bigwavdave

    Occurrence At Owl Urine Bridge

  • fruf

    Urine writing in the snow
    urine targeting
    “four score and seven yellow streams ago”
    Golden clothes by the yellow stream

  • Nicolette

    Under The Urine Sun.

    Big Trouble In Little Urine.

    Urine Trouble, Charlie Brown.

  • junkman

    p. p. cummings – of happy faces pissed in snow
    paul bowles – let it come down
    harry crews – where does one go when there’s no place left to go?
    sylvia plath – crossing the water
    margaret atwood – the penelo’pee’ad
    patti smith – pissing in a river
    andres serrano – piss christ
    c.s. lewis – the chronicles of urinia
    henry miller – the waters reglitterized
    lou peed – pew sensations

  • Stella Cadente

    A Urine Stream Runs Through It

  • Patrick

    THE STAND (and urinate); THE SHINING urine; SALEM’S LOT of urine; IT urinated; FIRE STARTER (it burns, it burns when I pee!); MISERY (I can’t pee); GERALD’S GAME (piss on the toilet seat); INSOMNIA (I gotta go again); SECRET WINDOWS (to piss out of); THINNER (man, I really had to piss!); DESPERATION (I really gotta go piss); STORM OF THE CENTURY (aaah, much better); and BLAZE (dammit, it still burns when I piss!).

  • Chris S

    No man is an island but when you pee, urination.

  • pablo

    This has the makings of a really bad theme park. Could you immagine the log ride?

  • pablo

    Thank National Lampoon for this one:

    Whether you are pissed off or pissed on, urine the Punk generation.

  • Drusky

    Alien Urination

    If you follow sports, how about ‘The Raider Urination”

    If Dave had used his camera phone while peeing, would he have shot ‘streaming video’?

    If he was listening to Dolly Parton, would it have been ‘Islands In The Stream’?

  • StevieC

    The Urinator

  • StevieC

    Urine Big Trouble In Little Chinatown

    You’re A Peein’ Vacation

    Urine The Movies

    Urine Man

    Handcock

    Honey, I Urinated On The Kids

    Waterworld

    The Man With Two Streams

    For you horror fans – Stream and Stream 2

    Streamgirls

  • junkman

    a lighter shade of pale…yellow
    the whizzard of oz
    the yellow submarine
    old yeller
    il nage dans la pisscine
    wee wee herman
    tinkle tinkle little star
    hey someone took a leak in my dribble cup
    dr. leaky i presume?
    peepee le pew
    my heart pumps toilet water
    urine no position to be relieving yourself from duty
    pees in a pod
    flomax by upjohn

  • junkman

    you’re #1 in my books ❗

  • StevieC

    And in the book section:

    Unsafe To Pee At Any Speed
    Uri Nader

  • StevieC

    To Pee Or Not To Pee
    William Shakespeter

  • junkman

    ordinary peeple
    jerusalem the golden by margaret dribble
    broke back fountain
    the trickle down theory
    honey, i wet my pants 2
    bedwets and broomsticks
    cobladderal damage

  • Mandy Fish

    Old Man and the Pee

  • Mandy Fish

    Pee Ess: Your readers are a rather literary bunch. I’ve really got to get off of MySpace…

  • Don

    Yellow river by Ip freely
    Trails in the sand by peter dragon

  • Don

    Hope they dont tell you your pregnut

  • Lake Effect

    When urine Rome, dew like the Romans dew.

    Urine My Heart (“Rod” Stewart)
    Urine Love: Charlie Brown
    Urine The Navy Now (old flick)
    National Lampoon’s Yer A’Peein’ Vacation

  • Memphisbandman

    And the ever-popular protector of undergarment consumers everywhere: Ralph Uri Nader!

  • cornbot

    Mr Zilla, sir, if you indeed reside in Royal Toke, then you are not too far from Port Urine, over there where the BW bridge heads to S’narnia.

    Wow, I got to use my one locational p joke, how about that.

  • Drusky

    Finding yourself in a piss poor mood? Well, Urine luck! Take a trip. First, fly to L.A. for a Dodger’s game. After making this stadium stop, fly to the Europeean inContinence. Then on to Italy to see the Leaning Tower of Peesa. After you get to Germany, be sure to take a dip in the Urhine. From there, go visit St. Peetersburg and see the latest Sex Pisstols concert. After that, hop a plane to Hawaii and watch the tide ebb and flow at Wa-pee-pee beach. End your trip in the US by visiting Peeattle, WA. Worried about this jaunt draining your stream of income? It’ll be ok if you book this trip on Expeedia.com. so you won’t piss away your money. The benefits to you will trickle in.

  • AlexBallew

    Sometimes my favorite ride at Walt Disney World is Pass Water Falls!

  • Meagan

    Dancing in line,
    waiting too long.
    Oh screw it,
    I’ll pee on the lawn. 😛

  • Spud

    Rusty Bed Springs by I.P. Nightly. (somebody had to say it)

    The Gargling

    The Gargling 11

    Revenge of The Garglors

    Miss Pisspots health guide for young women

  • tinamarie

    If you’re American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
    Yer-a-pein! (European)

  • CBATDUX

    Dave, urine good hands with all these ideas.

  • julesOdeNile

    [quote comment=”450003″]THE STAND (and urinate); THE SHINING urine; SALEM’S LOT of urine; IT urinated; FIRE STARTER (it burns, it burns when I pee!); MISERY (I can’t pee); GERALD’S GAME (piss on the toilet seat); INSOMNIA (I gotta go again); SECRET WINDOWS (to piss out of); THINNER (man, I really had to piss!); DESPERATION (I really gotta go piss); STORM OF THE CENTURY (aaah, much better); and BLAZE (dammit, it still burns when I piss!).[/quote]
    Patrick, you son-of-a-gun! i almost peed my pants! 😀

  • julesOdeNile

    [quote comment=”450005″]No man is an island but when you pee, urination.[/quote]

    (mine’s not an original but… 🙄 )

    As you arrive at the city limits a big sign proclaims “Welcome, Urine Sample. the city of Sample is a Historic one boasting many notable events and geological facts…

  • NC

    HOW STUPID…DON’T YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO PUT YOUR MIND TO??

  • evilmister

    Urinedewayame, a tale of one man’s journey to find a safe place to piss
    PISS!, an off-broadway play starring Blue Man Group

  • Da Popster

    Yer in deep shit ……. 😛

  • NC

    WHAT A STUPID TOPIC….

  • Davezilla

    [quote comment=”451584″]HOW STUPID…DON’T YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO PUT YOUR MIND TO??[/quote]
    Clearly not. :dead:

  • junkman

    [quote comment=”451773″]WHAT A STUPID TOPIC….[/quote]
    oh like yourine the know about smart topics? what’s the NC stand for? Non Comprendez? :gay:

  • StevieC

    [quote comment=”451773″]WHAT A STUPID TOPIC….[/quote]

    Well piss on you!

  • cornbot

    Apparently not too stupid if NC (no charge, non-com, Norf Caroliner, nut case) keeps reading and responding. Such a piss-tol. :limp: He’s all wet.

  • cornbot

    Excuse my gender specifism; NC might be a female or even a herm. If this is the case, I sincerly apologize for causing any splatter of bladder matter.

  • Spud

    For my money, it was a brilliant topic, the responses were excellent.
    It was funny, witty and it was our fearless benefactors twisted sick mind that thought it up in the first place.
    How much better does it get.

    “I’d give it a two thumbs up Jim” 😉 😉

    :gay: 😛

  • julesOdeNile

    [quote comment=”452447″]For my money, it was a brilliant topic, the responses were excellent.
    It was funny, witty and it was our fearless benefactors twisted sick mind that thought it up in the first place.
    How much better does it get.

    “I’d give it a two thumbs up Jim”

    😉 😉

    :gay: :P[/quote]
    yeah, so, Piss off NC. unless pissing on people (or being pissed on) get’s you off 👿 you came to Z-land for education, you no-funny-bone, piss ant? this ain’t school, this ain’t church, and this ain’t yo mamas house, you live-in-ma-mama’s-basement-and-just-got-a-camputie-machine-down-here-far-lookin-at-nekid-womins-pictures-mutha-fucka! yeah!

  • Flash Gordon

    You getting the idea by now, NC? 😕 🙄

  • Timm

    [quote comment=”451584″]HOW STUPID…DON’T YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO PUT YOUR MIND TO??[/quote]

    Well actually, since I have to monitor my urine to find out if medication is causing liver damage I don’t mind the comedic aspect of this topic. I was going to say “To pee, or not to pee” but StevieC beat me to it (haha). Too bad I keep losing my stream of thought.

  • Arsonite

    Bridge Over The Urine Qwai

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