Malapropisms and mispronunciations

  1. “perifeal vision” (heard on CNN)
  2. “samwichiz (heard on CNN)
  3. “perdickuler” (neighbor)
  4. “fedral mandrate” (heard on CSPAN2)
  5. “teepanated” (heard at work)
  6. “for all intensive purposes” (heard on CNN)
  7. “lack toast and tolerant” (heard at work)
  8. “I guess it was just a pigment of my imagination.” (same neighbor)
  9. “My glasses were so foggied up with compensation.” (heard at Pier One)
  10. “Michael Jackson sleeps in a hyperactive chamber.” (heard at Starbucks)
Show 28 Comments


  1. Stop beranguing me! (My wife. Not sure if I was berating her or harranguing her at the time. Maybe both.)

  2. Er… haranguing. (Note to self: Learn to spell.)

  3. “Addictive A-personality”

    (Said by me all the bloody time).

  4. “New Or-lee-yans” (Larry King) 👿

  5. Mission

    “Just a pigment of your menstration.” (heard at a college party… nuf said)

  6. pappy

    “Haha you sound like you have a speech predicament.”


    Ugh. :dead:

  7. pappy

    Oh and by the way on that one..

    It was this stupid girl in my class and when she said it, I laughed..

    But no one else got it.. 🙁

  8. Make no mistake:

    bzzzt! red alert! man yer battle stations! major BS to follow! Prepare to receive major spin!! Weapons! Mass! Destruction! Yer! With! Me! or! Yer! with! thuh! Terr’rists!

  9. Minnie, didn’t you know that’s the best month to go the lie-berry.

  10. GiGi

    My son likes the “Florida State Sinimoles”

    Go Moles!

  11. Spud

    # “Michael Jackson sleeps in a hyperactive chamber.”

    this could actually be true…

    some of the others are very funny and often repeated, everywhere…

  12. ME

    I’m so slick and turd & the hole 9 yards:wtf:

  13. Michele

    3 dimensions? With my per-ferial vision I can see in like 20 dimensions (spoken by a co-worker, and because of repeating this quote, I can no longer pronounce peripheral)

  14. “Suposeably,” “Noocular,” or “axed” for “asked”.

  15. tinamarie

    My dad used to work at a ‘noocular’ plant and my grandmother was afraid that all that radiation would make it so his ‘tessicles’ wouldn’t ‘work like they should.’

    This was my grandmother’s fear–mine was that my grandmother would never learn decent diction.

  16. Josh Riemens

    I thinks it’s funny how almost everyone says pronounciation when it’s actually pro-nun-ciation! Go ahead…look it up!

  17. Tinamarie: are you sure Granny wasn’t saying “teslacles” (which would make more sense, considering the generation of electrical energy and all)?

  18. Vazey

    When I was younger my mother used to make us girl cheese for lunch and biscetti for dinner. I’m much older and and i still slip up and say them like that from time to time.

  19. Heather

    “if I wear pajamas I will look conspicious.”

    (pronounced “con-SPI-shus”)

  20. Akshully, getting back to Tinamarie and her Granny, it could have been “Tesla Coils” she was saying, not testicles. You never know how brilliant some people are…

    I’ve got a cold. That’s why my brain hasn’t been working at full charge.

  21. Wild Bill

    I worked as a cop with a fellow many years named Hicks. We put together the “Hicks-tionary”.
    The fire was distinquished.
    I’m stopping a VCR van. (RV)
    I’m stopping a Terrolla Terrolla. (Toyota Corolla)
    I’m stopping a Dodge Aspirin.
    I’m stopping tag two-one-nine A-Alice, Q-Cuba.
    Many, many more!

  22. Ms.Z

    How about “Does anyone have fidty cents?” instead of fifty. :dead:

  23. Anonymous


  24. charisse

    Repeated to me by a physician as told to him by his patient when asking about the patient’s medical history: and I quote: I have fireballs of the ukerrus (fibroids of the uterus)… this is a true story:smile:

    same physician told me… a patient when asked about whether or not their insurance will pay for a particular procedure… “Oh, yes, my HBO will take care of that!!!!

  25. charisse

    I was laughing so hard.. I was historical!:smile:

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