25 thoughts on “I am always seated next to this man

  1. Let me guess, he also snores louder than the planes engines and sticks his big fat butt in your face when he climbs over you to use the washroom. Gross. :puke:

  2. Time for one of those list things dave, like how to remain polite and effacious while getting revenge on the person next to you.

    1. The coffee spill – “Oh good lord!, I’m terribly sorry old bean…”

    2. The elbow to the mouth – “Whoah! god, sorry about that, are your teeth alright?…”

    etc etc

    The blogs wioth a face was kinda cool.


  3. Thank you for these last two posts. Since I’m flying on sunday (to your wonderful country by the way) they have really reassured me. :puke:

  4. Thats when you lower the armrest to squeeze him into his seat and trap him there for the rest of the flight. It’s up to you to let him out at the end though, or you can just leave him there till some gullible flight attendent lets him out.

  5. Hmmm, is that wing supposed to be bobbing like that, engines sound linda funny to me, we got bafr bags? Hey, might as well have some malicious fun if you’re stuck with Mr. Grose……………… πŸ˜† :puke: πŸ‘Ώ

  6. “just got outta prison, wanna massage my leg? if you want I’ll take you home and we can eat some skittles while I give you a tattoo, and the we’ll have some more fun, I got a bottle of cocoa butter, but we better use a condom cause I got HIV. Do you have any brillo?”

  7. He probably wants to talk the entire trip too, especially about topics you absolutely have no desire to talk about…his marital problems, (which involve close family) his sudden need to relieve himself (often), his sh#@ jobs, you know, fun topcis like that!

  8. Tattoos, check
    Beer Belly Check
    Smell like bad french cheese check
    greasy hair, face hidden to protect the guilty I see
    requested and received center seat, check
    Smell of ass filling cabin check,

    Grab the nearest flight attendant and yell as loud as you can, “HE SAID HE BROUGHT A GUN ON THE PLANE!!!!!!!”

    Sure the flight will be delayed an hour or two, but I guarantee you the seat will be empty! 😈

  9. What a charming young man! I say next time you have a line-crosser you start talking to yourself or just let one rip. I’m talking the most powerful, rancid monster you could possibly conjure up. Believe me he will want to say away from you.

    Man, that was one fine prank! The beach version was the best!

  10. When you sit next to him, just tell him that you will be constantly itching a bloody, flaky spot on your leg next to him. You hope it’s not communicable but the doctors refuse to tell you what it is… He’ll be in another seat real fast… 😈

  11. Dave, Methinks I see a vague pattern in your air travel related topics… Are we venting a bit here? πŸ˜†

  12. Dave, you should have leaned over to him and whispered in a loudly “I just connected from Africa and have like a zillion mosquito bites. Can you catch the Ebola virus from mosquitoes? Can you catch it by touching me? I hope not. They really itch though.”

  13. Reminds me of the time when a very large woman was seated next to me. She was a very nice lady. First thing she did was apologize for her size making me feel as guilty as hell, and then she kept asking me if I was comfortable. I wasn’t really, but I forgive a lot for nice people.

    I can’t comment on that picture because everyone has stolen my ideas. However, I believe he probably picks his nose and his asshole with the same fingers. Has way too much axel grease under his fingernails because he never washes his hand.

  14. The female version always sits next to me, disregarding the personal space bubble I need to have around me at all times in public spaces.

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