Seeing as how the world and its population have changed dramatically over the centuries, I have some suggestions for you on expanding Hell to accommodate some of Earth’s newer denizens.
Please add new sections to Hell for the following:
- Cyber Squatters who hold onto URLs.
- Double Dippers at parties.
- People who park in handicapped spots because, “I’ll just be a minute.”
- Karens.
- People who don’t replace toilet paper but are over the age of seven.(I’m willing to cut slack to those under third grade).
- Millionaires who complain that Starbucks raised their coffee price by 25¢.
- People who refuse to put their phone away when it’s their turn in line at the bank, restaurant, etc.
- People who refuse to hear another’s side of the story. I understand this will likely be the largest section of Hell and require a lot of grant money to complete. I am willing to assist in any necessary paperwork.
- Exercising minuscule amounts of power, like meter maids hawking over a parking meter, operators who put you hold and then go to the bathroom, security guards who hassle teenagers for their attire, etc.
- Science Deniers, again, a large wing will be needed for this group. Torture showing how physics works on the limits of the human body would be an apropos touch.
- People who outright lie on their resume, make it to the interview round, and waste everyone’s time trying to justify how working at as a sweeper at the farmers market prepared them for a job in neuroscience.
- Those who feel all problems that are not their concern can be solved with thoughts and prayers. Give them something to pray about.
Thank you for your time,
Davezilla
