I apologize for not having a photo to accompany this post. Really. The best freak in my entire Freak Watching career apears and I am without camera. Shameful. For weeks now, the baristas at a certain major coffee chain have been bugging me to get a photograph of Joan. Joan is a transvestite, which to me does not qualify as a freak. I see nothing wrong with cross-dressing.
Then I met Joan.
Picture Abe Vigoda in a skirt. Add a second-hand, puce sweater and dowdy, brown skirt.
Oh, and a talking purse named Cindy.
Cindy doesn’t really talk, or at least, not in a dimension that you or I have access to. Cindy gives Joan all of her instructions. Cindy also has three boyfriends and rides in the front seat of Joan’s slightly damaged Ford Festiva. Joan holds Cindy up to her ear like a phone and gives instructions to the baristas:
“Cindy would like a chocolate chip cookie.”
The baristas are expected to reach into Cindy for money. Most refuse, on the fear that some type of cannibal gnome lives in the purse. I don’t blame them.
Next time, I will have photos. I promise.