Air Freshener Scents that Didn’t Make the Cut

  1. Mountain Gorilla Fresh
  2. Rainy Dog Fur
  3. Breezy Cheeses
  4. Gym Locker Fresh
  5. Chernobyl Springtime
  6. Bacterial Orange
  7. Junkyard breeze
  8. Sowheto Morning
  9. Durian Orchard
  10. What scents would you reject?
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Show 87 Comments


  1. 11. Flushed Toilet Water
    12. Fragrance de Roquefort
    13. L’Eau de Javel
    14. Arôme de Rue Morgue
    15. Earnest Borgnine for Men
    16. Essence of Fat Rending
    17. Femme de Ménage
    16. Seppuku (because you’re worth it)

  2. StevieC

    18. Eau de Skid Row
    19. Flatulence fragrance
    20. Waft de baby poo
    21. d’Elegance de Skidmark
    22. Anything by Glade

  3. Natalie

    Eau de chou bouilli
    Smoky Neighbour
    Summer on Spadina

  4. pablo

    The Body Odiforus
    Ashtray Elegance
    Bait AKA the Marianas Stench
    Sunrise Skunk
    Bung Hole
    Hurl AKA Country Kitchen Rehashed
    Strawberry Toe Jam
    Vanilla Ice (you know this one. it smells like the other guy’s product, but fades away within minutes)
    Afternoon Summer Sunset or ASS for short
    Peehole Spiders

    Give me a while to wake up and I’m sure I can think up something worse. Lucky you.

  5. Elliot the Dunk

    Essence of Mouth Breather

  6. junkman

    ernest borgnine for men was to funny lung.

    realtor’s choice-mold house coffee
    fresh baked otter shit pie by the open kitchen window
    old spice from the old man’s chair
    emanations of biker seat
    waft ‘o queef
    breath of karl lagerfeld
    bull dyke crotch berry bonanza
    skunked beer burp surprise
    urinal puck pooferoo’s
    elizabeth taylor’s taint
    exxon sea breeze
    stink foot febreze
    hobo wind
    pol pot-pourri

  7. Elliot the Dunk

    Essence of Mouthbreather

  8. Sweet T

    EWWWWWWWWW This smell are Gross :puke, but funny :lol:.


    Sweet T

  9. Sweet T

    [Comment ID #180863 will be quoted here]

    Those Smells are gross. Typo. its too early.

    Sweet T 😆

  10. Elliot the Dunk

    Oops. Looks like I double posted… but I don’t see the post.

    Curious and curiouser. :wtf:

  11. pablo

    Hey Lung, Don’t you remember Tova’s skin & fragrance line? I think “Earnest Borgnine for Men” was an actual part of the collection.

  12. AnnieB

    Ferret Musk
    Rotten Egg Mist
    Essence of Burnt Hair
    Liquid Feet

  13. pablo

    What happened to my pearls of humor? Give them back to me Dave. I slave over this keyboard to bring smiles to all of the bad little boys & girls of Zillaland (or is it Zillavania? Zillafornia?)
    You know that once this stuff dribbles from my brain it will be lost in cyberspace forever.

  14. Bjorn Freeh

    Two words: Rhea Perlman

  15. junkman

    [Comment ID #180871 will be quoted here]
    to funny!

  16. Boysenberry syrup over burnt tuna pancakes, with maggots.

    Downwind (of the Chicago Stock Yards)

    Broken Wind – comes in Garlic, rosemary-fed lamb, and Leased Federal Grazed Angus aromas!

    Neighbor’s Slop-Fed Pig Pen, available in January, May, and August scents. Note: August scent is enhanced with garlic and maggot! The January scent is an especially crisp and detailed aroma. May scent is a modest transition from clear winter scents with the promise of summer’s fully ripeness!

    Septic Tank Culture Starter (not to be confused with our buoyant Sourdough starter).

    Essence of tire fire. This fragrance will bring back memories of the Great Arizona Tire Fire. The various soils, fluids, and other flame retardants that attempted to squelch that million-tire fire, that persisted in burning for weeks, lend a variety of memorable tangs and elusive whiffs, a cornucopia of memories!

  17. beyonduplication

    [Comment ID #180871 will be quoted here]

    again? do we think about Ms Perlman too much, or what?

  18. Bjorn Freeh

    [Comment ID #180879 will be quoted here]

    Any thought about Rhea Perlman is too much, what?

  19. AnnieB

    [Comment ID #180880 will be quoted here]

    Tova is his wife. Who else would do it? lol

    Pablo … took mine over an hour the other day. Don’t retype it … it’ll show up eventually.

  20. L’Hairy Dick
    Essence of a Bloody Tampon
    Minty Sewage

  21. pablo

    Anything named after Paris Hilton, Rosanne Barr, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton or anyone named Dick
    Muerto Gato
    Autumn in Auschwitz or Cranberry Gulag
    Ho-liscious, you B pimpin’ wit dis nu scent from Skank
    Fresh & Free Fertilizer
    Poop, it’s more fun to say than it is to spray
    French Whore
    Spring in Bakersfield (Fresno, Oakland, Cleveland are also acceptable)
    New from Glade, Butt Plug-Ins

  22. StevieC

    [Comment ID #180895 will be quoted here]

    You said “butt plug” hehehehe

  23. junkman

    sure….save the heffalumps. doesn’t anyone give a fuck about woozles anymore? :dead:

  24. Natalie won’t remember these scents, since she gets up so late (after monkey sex with the Zilla Nation), but…

    Maple Leaf Mills Morning
    Don River Mourning (the “U” is on purpose)
    Westbound Gardiner Fresh
    Grenadier Pond Purée
    Parliament Potpourri (the street, not the building)
    Zanzibar Zing (the nudie joint)
    Don Valley Diesel
    Formula 401
    Bad Boy B.O. (no offence, Mel but Marilyn was complaining)

    There you have it… what can I say, these fragrances have been LONG imprinted on my psyche.

  25. beyonduplication

    ugh. rhea perlman and butt-plugs in the same thread :limp:

  26. Corinne

    What happened to my morning? I went to the bacon link (gross – and I love bacon) then decided to watch some Miller High Life commercial that was linked to in the comments. It was like a train wreck. I couldn’t stop watching them. Now, an hour later I’m no closer to going to work.

  27. pablo

    [Comment ID #180905 will be quoted here]

    Only on Davezilla!!!!

    Pablo & Bjorn salute you!!!!

  28. Ronica

    I read this every day and laugh, my co-workers just look at me all crazy:roll:, THANKS for the laughs :kiss:

  29. Anton

    [Comment ID #180882 will be quoted here]

    Anyone want to bet how many more stories in a row that Freeh’s comment will remain funny? I’m in for a buck at 7 posts.

    On another note, I’m surprised that nobody has mentioned:

    Barf Fresh

  30. Britney Babymaker Sunrise
    Butt Lint Breeze
    Ode de Turd
    Essence of Homeless Guy
    Badger Fart for Men
    Lilac and Landfill
    Dead Cat in the Wind
    Yeast of Eden

  31. Bjorn Freeh

    [Comment ID #180911 will be quoted here]

    A joke is only funny the first and third times it’s told.

  32. MRDOUG

    Asparagus Pee
    Post Heffalump Hump
    Lanced Boil

    Mmmm Bacon….

  33. sledge

    eau de grow op house arm pit goo tongue scraping

  34. poisonwisky

    mid-summers yeast infection :wtf:

  35. Mikeme

    Tit fresh

    Fume de Anus

    Crap de Drawers

    Essense of Enema

    Cleveland Cologne

    Blue bottle fly bouquet

  36. dougieace

    cornchips and ass
    has anyone spoken to grandpa this week?
    dead fish on a hot day

  37. [Comment ID #180850 will be quoted here]

    Seppuku! Wow, bonus points for obscure ritual suicide. :geek:

  38. ducatisti

    “Asparagus Pee”

    Ahhha – yep, ain’t that a strange and disturbing one!

    I used to work in retail – selling high-end ladies clothing. Old women wore Dior back then – on young gals it smelled okay, on certain old gals for some reason it smelled like burning rancid armpits. Never did get used to it.

    Here’s my additions to the Air Freshener market:

    Eau Doo Toilet
    English Channel nO 5
    Oil of OldGay

    However, after smelling some that are actually on the market now, I don’t really know how much worse any of our suggestions could be. I don’t know what ‘Crisp Mountain Breeze’ the folks at Airwick have been snorting, but it’s sure nothing like the air around here.

  39. Driver

    Rhea Perlman is a butt plug.

    [The road kill colection]
    midnight opossum squash
    week old deer carcus
    armadillo speed bump
    five mile skunk waft

    AnnieB I was out of town to see old friends, glad to be home though I was starting to get the Zilla DT’s

  40. Drusky

    ‘Belchback’ by David Hasselhoff
    ‘Scent Of A Cell’ by Paris Hilton
    ‘Pills and the Can’ by Elvis
    ‘Impact’ by Dale Ernhardt
    ‘Arse Dew’ by Elton John
    ‘Buttcheek Boogy’ by the wannabe ZillaBoyz
    ‘Burning Rubber’ by Rhea Perlman

    What kind of scent will eminate from Dave’s place after Sunday’s big bash? 😆 😀 😆

  41. Spud

    After Lungs shot at the first all I have is – Bum Fluff.

    Too clever by half mister lung.

  42. michele

    I’m not much for perfume, but I do need my
    Morning breath Listerine
    smell like you just woke up, all day long.

  43. StevieC

    Hmmm …. mid-morning and no new material from the Zilla master. You know what this means, don’t you ….. ? 😈

    Break out the whips and the whipped cream, cuz we got us some serious partyin’ to do!

    handcuffs, anyone …. anyone …bueller … ?

  44. junkman

    IT IS HUMP DAY! :boob: :wang: :boob: :wang: :boob:

  45. StevieC

    [Comment ID #181048 will be quoted here]

    If most people don’t get laid until the weekend, why do they call this “hump day”? :wtf:

  46. [Comment ID #181042 will be quoted here]

    Hell yeah! I got my whip and jumper cables all ready. Who wants to go first?


  47. junkman

    cuz yer gettin over the mid-week hump and it’s all down hill from here.

  48. [Comment ID #181049 will be quoted here]

    ‘Scuse me?! I beg to differ… 😈

    [Comment ID #180944 will be quoted here]

    My tit’s smell like cherries all the time. It’s a nice cherry flavored surprise for those impromptu situations! 😈

    Had to add this one: ten day old Unflushed Toilet Water.

  49. StevieC

    [Comment ID #181056 will be quoted here]

    I like it when you beg …. 😈 :wang:

  50. StevieC

    [Comment ID #181059 will be quoted here]

    I often do. 😈 I’m thinking of a number between 5 and 10 ….

  51. StevieC

    [Comment ID #181052 will be quoted here]

    I say we plug Asryd in for awhile. Whattaya say?

  52. junkman

    [Comment ID #181060 will be quoted here]
    hey dude….you’re not going to pull the old “give her a six and tell her it’s a nine” trick are you?

  53. Ummm…ten?

    😆 (eyes light up, cheesy grin) 😛 :wang:
    Oh no, we musn’t do thaaat! She has been nothing but a good girl,…a Very Good girl! 😈
    (stripped down to :thong: puts out wrists) Who’s got the cuffs?! 😈
    Please be gentle… 😆 periodically 😈 .

  54. AnnieB

    [Comment ID #181042 will be quoted here]

    Nah … I’m not in the mood. We should pace ourselves. Who knows how many days Dave will leave us alone? He might have stubbed his toe or something. 😈

  55. StevieC

    [Comment ID #181064 will be quoted here]

    Not at all, Astryd knows that when I give her a number, she gets it all and nothing less. 😈

  56. StevieC

    [Comment ID #181065 will be quoted here]

    You’re right! Ten it is. 😈 :wang:

  57. [Comment ID #181064 will be quoted here]

    Oh no no no, I have become very much aware and able to tell whether it’s 6 in* or 9! 😈
    *(omitted . intentionally)

    Fun Facts: My hand is exactly 7 inches long. That knowledge comes in very handy when I wanna size up the prospective victim. 😈

  58. When the master’s away… 😈
    AnnieB, We promise to try and keep it mellow… 😀

  59. Sex Chick

    very sexy conversation here…. can i join? 😛

  60. AnnieB

    Please !!! Carry on … I enjoy watching even if I don’t feel like participating! lol

    I’ll even send an encouraging thought your way via my icon.

    Happy :boob: :boob: :thong: and :wang: :wang: :wang: !!!

  61. Drusky

    [Comment ID #181084 will be quoted here]

    Victim? Maybe at first… 😛
    [Comment ID #181107 will be quoted here]
    I love it when you watch… 😆

  62. Jay Laverdure



    “Eau de Ewww!”

    “Bacon Trench!”

    “Scum de la Scum”

    And (thanks to Firesign Theatre):

    “Hot Buttered Groat Clusters!”

  63. scooter trash

    I hope I’m not to late to add to the list of rejected fragrences….

    Ganges Breeze

    Turkish Prison Delight


    Porto-Potty Passion

    and the ever popular Essence of Emesis

  64. scooter trash

    too late, i meant to say

  65. Mikeme

    :boob: :boob: + :wang: = 😮 😆 😛 🙁

  66. pablo

    Here are some jokes right up the old sick puupy alley. Perverts (thank god)

    There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. He doesn’t know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his female donkey. The manager sees him and asks where he’s going with his donkey.
    “Anywhere I go, she goes.”
    “I’m sorry, sir,” said the manager, “but you can’t take the donkey upstairs. Leave it down here with us and we’ll take good care of her.” So Bozo goes up to his room and opens the door. Everything is made of gold, there is a table full of food, and a huge television. He doesn’t want to ruin anything so he takes his raggedy coat off and sleeps on the floor. The next morning the manager comes up to the room and asks how his night was.
    ”Great!” replied Bozo. ”How much do I have to pay?” he asks.
    ”One thousand dollars for the food.”
    ”But I haven’t touched the food.”
    ”It was right there, so you should have. Two thousand dollars for the TV.”
    ”But I didn’t even know how to turn the damn thing on!”
    ”It was there, so you should have. Five thousand for sleeping on the bed.”
    ”But I slept on the floor!”
    ”It was there. Your total is eight thousand dollars.”
    ”You owe me ten thousand dollars for screwing my donkey.”
    ”But sir, I didn’t screw your donkey.”
    ”It was there. You should have!”

    A little old lady wanted to join a biker club.
    She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers the door.
    She proclaimed, “I want to join your biker club.”
    The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join.
    So the biker asked her, “You have a bike?”
    The little old lady said, “Yeah, that’s my Harley over there,” and points to a Harley parked in the driveway.
    The biker asked her, “Do you smoke?”
    The little old lady said, “Yeah, I smoke. I smoke four packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I’m shooting pool.”
    The biker was impressed and asked, “Well, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”
    The little old lady said, “No, I’ve never been picked up by the fuzz, but I’ve been swung around by my nipples a few times.”

    The teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multisyllabic words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multisyllabic word?”
    Little Johnny waves his hand, “Me, teacher! Oh, me, me!”
    The teacher smiles and says, “All right, Johnny, what is your multisyllabic word?”
    Little Johnny says, “Mas-tur-bate.”
    The teacher is taken aback, but she manages to smile and says, “Wow, Johnny, that’s a mouthful.”
    Little Johnny says, “No, ma’am, you’re thinking of a blowjob. I’m talking about jerking off.”

  67. [Comment ID #181075 will be quoted here]

    [Comment ID #181071 will be quoted here]


    [Comment ID #181107 will be quoted here]

    Ooh! An audience! I love it!! 😆

  68. [Comment ID #181061 will be quoted here]

    I’m up for anything.

    😈 :wang:

  69. Driver

    [Comment ID #181049 will be quoted here]

    SyevieC maybe it should be called dry hump day.

    Astryd MMMMMMM cherry.

    [Comment ID #181052 will be quoted here]

    Darla I am feeling a bit run down.

    [Comment ID #181107 will be quoted here]

    AnnieB you can run the video cam this time darlin.

    [Comment ID #181089 will be quoted here]

    Dont hold back what’s on your mind?

    Boy playing catch up at the end of the day drains me…Darla Darla

  70. Mandy

    [Comment ID #181107 will be quoted here]

    I like watching too (and being watched). Blogging in my lil’ Wicked Weasel :thong: and not much else (if anyone is peeking)

  71. junkman

    always peeking for pokey and perky perfection on wicked weasel wednesday’s. 8) :boob: :boob: 8)

  72. Drusky

    [Comment ID #181153 will be quoted here]

    That visual will probably carry me to the weekend…
    [Comment ID #181089 will be quoted here]
    A wise man named StevieC once said “Come on in, the water’s fine…” Enjoy the diving board. Boy, I hope I muff this dive… 😈

  73. Bigwavdave

    Damn horny crowd :boob: :boob: :thong: :wang:

    All y’all (plural of y’all) need to come over for a nekkid dip in the spa this weekend.

  74. junkman

    [Comment ID #181153 will be quoted here]leaves just enough to the imagination…….i mean the bending coyly.


  75. StevieC

    [Comment ID #181158 will be quoted here]

    An imagination is a terrible thing to waste. Especially around here!

    Mandy – your choice of :thong: gets one enthusiastic :wang: up.

  76. Eau du Bus Terminal toilette
    Hint of Soylent Green
    Roadkill Rivage
    Fragrance Frumunda
    Toe Jam Surprise
    Topographical skidmark
    “Honey, did you eat asparagus?”

  77. [Comment ID #181148 will be quoted here]

    Let me give you a “jump start.” ZAP!!!

    😈 :wang:

  78. Mandy

    [Comment ID #181200 will be quoted here]

    (Curtseys in miniskirt)

    This is the best comment thread evar

  79. StevieC

    [Comment ID #181470 will be quoted here]

    We :wang: to please

  80. Mandy

    [Comment ID #181496 will be quoted here]

    I swallow to please. :kiss:

  81. StevieC

    [Comment ID #181555 will be quoted here]

    “I think I’m in Love”
    Taco Bell dog

Comments are closed