14 year-old Thanksgiving memories

Thuisrday, 11am
dear deadjournal readers,

this may be the last u hear from me. no, i promise no more suicide attempts. 3 years in a row and kurt cobain STILL hasn’t contacted me. wanker. i’m sure u smell real good now, kurt. as good as courtney’s ruby starfruit. lol!!

i fear this is the end. it’s thanksgiving today and my parent are dragging me to my enormous carpenter aunt’s house for dinner. her food is sheer microwaved venom. i will surely perish. if so, please leave my ipod to kyle (*smooch*) and my hissing cockroach is to be let loose in my english lit class.

your slice of hell,
elspeth


Thuirsday, 2pm
dear deadjournal readers,

u guys are hella cool. thankz for the supporting ims though even i cannot stoop to putting bleach in the gravy. again. last time i tried that my cavebiyatch grounded me from playing dragonball z for four days!!! not going through that again. that is just plain crewel. i should sue my mom for neglect. that would sooo rule. lol!! btw, i am posting this from my hiptop. i had to beg the cavebiyatch into buying this for me. noob. connection sux my dik.

your teddy grizzly bear,
elspeth


Thuirsday, 6pm
dear deadjournal readers,

am nearly dead. carpenter aunt made us green bean asserole. my ass is going to pay for even smelling it. the carpenter aunt has become a vegan. should i be elated or hate her more?? i say hate and here’s why. tofurkey is the devil. if i snotted into a cup of burning yogurt and basted it with contraceptive jelly it couldn’t taste worse. remind me to give birth to killer bees and set them loose on my family. have a festive holiday.

your camqueen,
elspeth

viagra
free viagra
buy viagra online
generic viagra
how does viagra work
cheap viagra
buy viagra
buy viagra online inurl
viagra 6 free samples
viagra online
viagra for women
viagra side effects
female viagra
natural viagra
online viagra
cheapest viagra prices
herbal viagra
alternative to viagra
buy generic viagra
purchase viagra online
free viagra without prescription
viagra attorneys
free viagra samples before buying
buy generic viagra cheap
viagra uk
generic viagra online
try viagra for free
generic viagra from india
fda approves viagra
free viagra sample
what is better viagra or levitra
discount generic viagra online
viagra cialis levitra
viagra dosage
viagra cheap
viagra on line
best price for viagra
free sample pack of viagra
viagra generic
viagra without prescription
discount viagra
gay viagra
mail order viagra
viagra inurl
generic viagra online paypal
generic viagra overnight
generic viagra online pharmacy
generic viagra uk
buy cheap viagra online uk
suppliers of viagra
how long does viagra last
viagra sex
generic viagra soft tabs
generic viagra 100mg
buy viagra onli
generic viagra online without prescription
viagra energy drink
cheapest uk supplier viagra
viagra cialis
generic viagra safe
viagra professional
viagra sales
viagra free trial pack
viagra lawyers
over the counter viagra
best price for generic viagra
viagra jokes
buying viagra
viagra samples
viagra sample
cialis
generic cialis
cheapest cialis
buy cialis online
buying generic cialis
cialis for order
what are the side effects of cialis
buy generic cialis
what is the generic name for cialis
cheap cialis
cialis online
buy cialis
cialis side effects
how long does cialis last
cialis forum
cialis lawyer ohio
cialis attorneys
cialis attorney columbus
cialis injury lawyer ohio
cialis injury attorney ohio
cialis injury lawyer columbus
prices cialis
cialis lawyers
viagra cialis levitra
cialis lawyer columbus
online generic cialis
daily cialis
cialis injury attorney columbus
cialis attorney ohio
cialis cost
cialis professional
cialis super active
how does cialis work
what does cialis look like
cialis drug
viagra cialis
cialis to buy new zealand
cialis without prescription
free cialis
cialis soft tabs
discount cialis
cialis generic
generic cialis from india
cheap cialis sale online
cialis daily
cialis reviews
cialis generico
how can i take cialis
cheap cialis si
cialis vs viagra
levitra
generic levitra
levitra attorneys
what is better viagra or levitra
viagra cialis levitra
levitra side effects
buy levitra
levitra online
levitra dangers
how does levitra work
levitra lawyers
what is the difference between levitra and viagra
levitra versus viagra
which works better viagra or levitra
buy levitra and overnight shipping
levitra vs viagra
canidan pharmacies levitra
how long does levitra last
viagra cialis levitra
levitra acheter
comprare levitra
levitra ohne rezept
levitra 20mg
levitra senza ricetta
cheapest generic levitra
levitra compra
cheap levitra
levitra overnight
levitra generika
levitra kaufen

23 Replies to “14 year-old Thanksgiving memories”

  1. Dasmn, that wuz tofarkin’ high-larius! πŸ˜€

    I’ll be spending Turkey Day w/my sis, brother-in-law, and nephew. No problems there. However, the brother-in-law’s slightly insano family will also be there. Pray for me.:neutral:

  2. I’ve had a vegitarian Thanksgiving. I was on vacation with my aunt and uncle in Florida over Thanksgiving week and we visited some friends of theirs who were vegitarian. They cooked a nutloaf thing instead of turkey.

    Put enough ketchup on anything and it will eventually taste close enough to meatloaf. At least the pumpkin pie was still tasty.

  3. While I speak American fluently Anna, this was written in “LiveJournalese”, a dialect found only online and spoken among the under 20 crowd. πŸ˜›

    BTW, my first Thanksgiving memory of the year, waking up to 29 comment spams. πŸ˜•

  4. As I have said many times here on DAVEZILLA, that NOW is the time to stock up on extra ammunition before the holiday rush!

    If you see any underage brainless civilized animals lurking around the gun-store, be sure to do them (and ALL of US) a favour by purchasing for them their weapon of choice! Such a small gesture will go over in a big way!

    THIS WEEK’S SPECIAL: HAZMAT suits at COST! When the bioweapons are wreaking havoc in your town, stay cool and calm in your personal sealed environment. These suits come certified from a foreign government with thermal controlled air scrubbers and a THIRTY DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE!

  5. Oh Well,

    It seems that I’m about as popular as a pork chop at a Jewish wedding these days and my views..hmmmm about as good as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

    Maybe I should just become conformist like the norm or trudge down to the end of my garden to eat some worms or something?

    Unfortunately we dont have Thanksgiving in the U.K but we do have double decker buses and like all good things you wait around forever then two turn up at the same time. Not thanksgiving, but busses and err twins.

    Don’t know why I just wrote that……..perhaps I just don’t get it anymore.

    πŸ˜•

    P.S With regards to the speech on evolution the other day…………Maybe it’s relevent that we’re the ONLY creature on this Earth that knows it will eventually one day die. We are also the only creature with enough intelligence to “create” an acceptable conclusion.

    πŸ˜›

  6. P.s Rust you are also considered very nifty and more vocal these days as well!

    Keep up the good work mon amie.

    πŸ™‚

  7. We all still love you, Rev. Don’t feel jealous cause you’re not getting a day off work to stay home and eat too much. I suggest you lobby England to get a similar holiday. Canada has one. Be excellent to yourself. Stay home and eat. πŸ˜›

  8. Hey Rev, I hate to tell you this but when I was in New York recently, they had double decker buses too. They were bright red london stylee double decker open top tourist buses, but double decker nonetheless. :boobs:

  9. Dearest Olly,

    “London Stylee” but twas not actually in London! Glad We’re having an influence though!

    Happy Thanksgiving All! πŸ˜†

    P.S Dave. Have a good one mate and don’t eat too much breast or you’ll get sick.

    πŸ˜›

    P.P.S I am having a day off anyhow, but alas no food and festive fun. πŸ™

  10. So here I am, sitting in front of the computer, naked as always, thinking, WHAT THE FRIK AM I DOING IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY!

    Well, you know, that phrase just echoed around my brain, screaming at me for an answer. As well as a touch of Ranch dressing on the side.

    The answer is, that no first world country, like for example, Japan, or Italy would have me. The Canadians TOTALLY disown me (what, that RUST? never heard of him! can we somehow revoke his citizenship?) Amurrikans – man you GOT to be kidding. I can’t even travel through terrorist central without getting a full-groin pat-down by some gun-totin’ red-neck SECKYOOR itty guard lookin’ for his next boyfriend. But I digress. Let me backtrack a little…. It all started in a one-room schoolhouse — no wait, that was Little House! Let me start again: I was sitting here, NIFOC as usual when it occurred to me that the FIRST RULE of INTERNET always applies: on the Internet, no one knows you are a dog. So what better medium is there for a worthless drone like me? What the hell am I talking about? I’m talkin’ FRUIT. And VEGGIES. And SEAFOOD. (Yes, I’m on a SEAFOOD diet, when I see food… *rimshot*). Not that I eat those disgusting things that they call “LOCOS” and “MACHAS” and other partially mutated tendril-entangled life forms. But, give me an orange and a peach, fresh from the farm — orchard — I don’t know, I just buy them at the store that Willy and Oscar own — and I forget all about Jack’n the Burger and Dairy King. There’s an orange with my name on it … calling me…. “dave, I’m juicy and sweet — eat me, pleeeeeease”

    But on second thought, I know why I’m still here! It’s those third-world babes! Just flash the baby-blues at ’em and I got ’em throwing their underwear at me like I was an overweight Engelbert Humperdinck. It’s good to be the King.

  11. At least those of you not living in the US are saved from the annual tradition of watching your favorite sports team (Detroit Lions) embarass themselves on national TV. Alas, I’m a slave to American Football…the horrors start soon. πŸ™„

    Happy Thanksgiving my brother! You’re going to love your Christmas gift this year! I “turned it out”
    πŸ˜€

  12. holy crap, elspeth!!1 I hope u don’t suicide yorself until the next Nirvana album cums out. tHat would be something awFul. πŸ™

    funny you men shuned pouring bleach in the gravey but not one reference to their tunes off that raaaadical album. bleach is raw man. it take turkey meat off the bone dude. those are there best kick ass tunez if you ax me!! i forgive ya. :razz:!

    i’m gonna kick out the jams now. spend turkey day pounding my head to all the nir vana albums and pick the meat from my tooths. maybe steal a beer from the fridge when my folks and relatives start playing uno. there’s so much spirits in their they won’t notice any shiat missing or the fact i stole some cigs. gotta go!! kurt is god for sure

  13. I’m kinda with Stacy on this one, that did hurt my eyes and brain to read.

    Translation is hard at midnight.

  14. Pingback: boals.net

Comments are closed.