No drunk texting, please

Everyone has that drunk friend. You know the one. Great person until alcohol has been imbibed. And everyone has a different reaction to alcohol. I’m Irish. I hate to stereotype my ancestors, but goddamn can we put it away! I never believed I could drink a lot until I started noticing that all my friends would hit the floor when I was just feeling a mild buzz.

I don’t slur when I’m drunk. I don’t stagger, nor do I drunk dial, drunk text or make statements I need to apologize for the next day. But there’s one thing that happens to me that gives my friends no end of amusement. I lose all sense of direction. Jesus could point me directly to the stairway to heaven and I’d end up in Satan’s executive washroom. It’s that bad.

So how about you? What do you do when heavily intoxicated?

30 Replies to “No drunk texting, please”

  1. [quote comment=”632142″]you already know this. clothes come off. :thong:[/quote]
    [quote comment=”632151″]We require photographic evidence.[/quote]
    I vote with Dave!

    I did pass out in the only bathroom at friend’s apartment about 35 years ago during a party. The worst of it was, I was up against the door so no one could get in. I don’t get nearly that drunk anymore, and when I’ve had a few, I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut! 😉

  2. Remember the, “I love you man” commercials? Yup, I’m THAT girl. I pour my heart out and am overly affectionate. *Will hugging you closely around the neck* “You’re the best, no really, I mean it. I’m soooooo glad we’re friends…. blah blah blah”. Ok, it’s not quite that sickening, but you get the idea.

    Oh and I too am Irish so I also sport a lovely Tavern Tan. If that doesn’t give you away, nothing will. 😳

  3. [quote comment=”632157″]Ugh it really is Monday isn’t it? Make that “while hugging you…”.[/quote]
    I think you’ve been drinking again… :wtf:

  4. I have almost no sense of balance. If I’m drinking, I have to set up somewhere and have the drinks come to me! 😆

    Oh, and I show my boobs!

  5. [quote comment=”632159″]The last time I got really drunk, my girlfriends and I took pictures of each other’s boobs. :boob: :boob:[/quote]
    [quote comment=”632163″]I have almost no sense of balance. If I’m drinking, I have to set up somewhere and have the drinks come to me! 😆
    Oh, and I show my boobs![/quote]

    To quote Dave: We require photographic evidence. … and we need a party.

  6. Talk, talk and talk some more. Not necessarily embarrassing stuff, just copious verbage. Lung the Elder and I have a nice definition for when we’re in our cups:

    IDEALIST: A person who believes that he or she really CAN solve all the world’s unsolvable problems if they just have …one ..more….beer.

  7. [quote comment=”632165″][quote comment=”632159″]The last time I got really drunk, my girlfriends and I took pictures of each other’s boobs. :boob: :boob:[/quote]
    [quote comment=”632163″]I have almost no sense of balance. If I’m drinking, I have to set up somewhere and have the drinks come to me! 😆
    Oh, and I show my boobs![/quote]

    To quote Dave: We require photographic evidence. … and we need a party.[/quote]
    ………. And lots and lots of alcohol :wang:

  8. I am the worst kind of a drunk–a loud one. My voice can carry into the next county. And then I sing ballads from David Allan Coe, on key of course.

  9. I become incapable of making sense( same as always) and talking in spoonerisms…I’m not under the affluence of incohol like some tinkle peep I am

  10. I have this habit of getting up on stage and singing in bands whilst intoxicated.

    The next day I have no recollection at all of said event.

    Many people come up to me in the pub the next day or wherever like they are my best friends and regale tall tales and true of the previous nights happenings.

    I don’t know these people.

    I know nothing.

  11. i don’t slur or ramble and don’t do anything regretful in this state. there are a couple of side effects though. i think my brain knows it should halt the intake so it stops sending important info to my hand. so glasses will sometimes drop straight to the floor because the hand is no longer being told to grasp. if i’m at a pub and walking home after i have a problem with curbs (well they are 4-5 inches!). i fall off them and trip over them so i usually have a sore knee or scuffed shoe. usually i will put on THE FALL and sit on the floor in front of the speaker with it cranked or slam dance to gordon lightfoot’s sundown. i have been known to kick churches, engage in slapping competitions, compose dirty haiku, shoot stuffed animals with pellat guns and my friends are guilty of this as well. i do not get hungover as such so i’m usually up by 8 and ready to go. 😎

  12. I was at a stripclub with some friends; we had all just got paid so there were some girls around us. I asked them if they wanted a dance. Well, I stood up and started to gyrate, took my shirt off, spun it ‘roud my head. Just as I was undoing my britches the bouncer came over and asked me to leave. As a side note, I made five bucks from the dancers.

  13. [quote comment=”632158″][quote comment=”632157″]Ugh it really is Monday isn’t it? Make that “while hugging you…”.[/quote]
    I think you’ve been drinking again… :wtf:[/quote]

    Well, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere right? 😀

  14. I am a notorious drunk texter/dialer. Such gems as “I think about you all the time” and “I miss your smell” and “are you awake?” (the latter is sent, of course, around 3am)

    The bad thing is, I have awakened to so many treasures in my Sent folder that now my drunken self always cleans out the text messages before passing out. This leaves even more fear upon waking…. (oh god, what did i send this time?)

  15. Attempt to pick up inanimate objects and when I say pick up I mean try to get a date out of them when I feel rejected because they won’t talk to me I start yelling about how stuck up ppl are and that they can all go to hell.

  16. I try very hard, albeit hopelessly to deny I’m drunk but the slurring gives me away. But I’m also prone to late night drunk e-mailing which I don’t necessarily remember….reading my messages the next day, i think, i really don’t remember writing that but that’s funny, damned funny! creative writing really does come from the consumption of incohol!

  17. i usually hurt myself, last time i learned you dont hold bottle rockets in one hand and light them with the other, the time before that i learned not to run down stairs while in stilettos, before that i learned steep gravel covered inclines+flip flops= bruised shins.
    you’d think i’d have this drinking safety thing figured out, i’m 26 so you can safely bet i’ve been drinking for about 10 years+ but i still cant figure out how to do it safely.

  18. dont we all end uo showing our boobs when we get drunk that seems like the normal thing

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